


What I Want

by Lenkia



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies), The Hunger Games (Movies) RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - No Hunger Games, Angst, Boss/Employee Relationship, Child Abuse, Choking, Consensual Underage Kissing, Consensual Underage Sex, Daddy Issues, Dark Peeta Mellark, Dark!Peeta, Dry Humping, Dry Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gunshot Wounds, Mental Health Issues, Older Man/Younger Woman, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Katniss Everdeen, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Repaying Debt, Secret Crush, Seduction, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Teen Pregnancy, Underage Kissing, Underage Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, its all happy in the beginning but wait for it..., katniss has daddy issues for real, new tags added every chapter be aware, peeta has psycopath symptom, this shit is getting dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-10-27 01:28:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17757209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenkia/pseuds/Lenkia
Summary: It's expected for every Seam girl that turns 16 to marry for the sake of survival, the husband supposedly providing for the family. But nowadays it's more like a tradition and not one Katniss Everdeen particularly likes...No, she doesn't see the reason to marry when she can provide for her family just fine.But one traumatizing night changes Katniss' life forever. She meets the district baker, with his beautiful yet mysterious smile that charms her to the core. And before she knows it, she gets twisted into his web filled with lies and manipulations...DARK STORY, NEW TAGS TO BE ADDED EVERY CHAPTER





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, sooooo this is a story that I just wrote for fun, but I also want to share it with you. It's my first time writing something dark and twisted, just so y'all know. It's a slow burn, so have patience~ I hope you'll like it! 
> 
> Mind my writing, English is not my first language. 
> 
> Remember, this is a DARK story. Remember to look at the TAGS before reading. 
> 
> If you don't like it or can't handle the E, don't read it. I don't want to hear anything about it.

“Happy birthday!”

Katniss, who stood at the doorstep still holding the doorknob, couldn’t help turning shocked seeing her two friends, Madge Undersee and Gale Hawthorne, standing at her door with a small vanilla cake in Madge's hands. The mayor’s daughter smiled big and proudly while Katniss’ hunting partner looked away ashamed with a faint blush on his face.

“Katniss, what’s happening?”, Prim suddenly ask from the kitchen as she runs to the door seeing her sister and her two friends. Thankfully, Katniss didn’t need to say much, because her little sister did the most of it.

“Oh my-, is that a vanilla cake?”

“Sure is!”, Madge said with a smile.

Primrose lit up, jumping up and down in her place before inviting them in for a tee with the cake. Katniss’ two friends went past her into the house as the huntress still followed them with her wide eyes before closing the door. She had never seen Madge together with Gale alone if Katniss wasn’t with one of them at least. They really went all out for her.

She could already feel that awful feeling in her stomach, the sudden panic in her heart.  _ How is she supposed to pay them back? _ she thought. _ Should she give them a squirrel each for free? No, that won’t do, Gale can fix one easy for himself. _

But Katniss still, deep inside her heart, knew that she shouldn’t be selfish. She knew that her friends want to do this for her and that she should enjoy that cake more than anyone else in this room. So she tries to ignore that feeling of being a typical Seam as she walked to the kitchen.

“Thank you guys.”, Katniss said to her two friends and sister sitting beside the table waiting for the tee to boil. She lowered her face in embarrassment. “Really, I mean it.”

“Of course Catnip.”, Gale said back.

“It isn’t every day you turn sixteen!”, Madge sang happily. Katniss smiled and sat beside her sister, who waited patiently on the tee so she could eat it with the vanilla cake.

“Sixteen isn’t a big deal.”, Katniss said. Gale rolled his eyes and Madge looked at the boy with a raised eyebrow.

“Katniss, sixteen is like the Seams holy number.”, he said, scratching his neck as Katniss slowly turned red.

“What does that mean?”, Prim asked.

“Well…”, Madge said a little ashamed. “Isn’t it, y’know, early?”

“Early or not.”, Katniss said, making all the three look at her. “I don’t want to marry, and I don’t want kids. Period.”

“I want kids!”, Prim suddenly burst out happy, all the attention on her now. “I want hundreds of kids. I love kids so much.”

As Madge squirmed because of Prim’s cuteness, and Gale glancing at his hunting partner almost disappointed, Katniss suddenly saw a picture in her head. Prim being sixteen years old, a husband by her side and a swollen belly.

The sound of the tee boiling was heard, and before Madge went up the fix it, Katniss was already in the kitchen, feeling her face redden in either anger or fear.

  
  


District 12 was parted into two social groups. The Seam and the Merchants. Looking a little closer at Katniss’ own, the Seam was a very poor and fragile place. People had a hard time finding jobs except at the dangerous mines, where her father had died. By the time you woke up, you could hear them walk to the mines, and by noon taking a bath, you could hear the men walk home again back to their families. The Seam was covered with dust like it haunted everyone that they’re stuck with the mines. That school nor talent would get them anywhere. By the end of the day, they would be standing inside the elevator down to their death.

Even if the job was dangerous itself, the money you got for it was actually decent. Not as good as the Merchants, but it was enough to feed the family. And for each kid you had, you earned an extra coin.

But, after all, working in the mines was the men’s job. And Katniss had no men in her family. Not anymore.

Katniss would have been dead by now if it wasn’t for her hunting skills. Sure, her mother did some errands sometimes during her good days, but that wasn’t often. Katniss remembered when the moment her father died, she went to bed with an empty stomach more than she could count. Her mother abandoned them and her sister was too young. The only thing keeping them all alive was those squirrels she had shot with her bow and arrow. She was so thankful that her father had taught her all those things, or they would’ve rotten in the ground next to her father. Katniss was sure that she, and other man-less families in district 12, where the poorest ones in whole Panem.

And because of that, when girls turned sixteen they want to marry as fast as possible. Why? So they wouldn’t die in hunger. Like Katniss almost did herself.

They know that having a husband would mean being able to live, so if their father or brother died in an accident or even retired, the girl would be able to support the family with her husbands' money. Even if it was a penny, it would be enough. The women could work, but it wasn’t as good as a miner.

But girls being girls, they rather much enjoy getting married instead of being in school, almost forgetting the whole purpose of it. Katniss remembered the start of the school year. How Seam girl after Seam girl slowly dropped out only to have a swollen stomach three months later kissing their husbands cheeks before they leave for work. How brown-haired girls would sit around each other during lunch giggling and talking about who they would want to marry. Grey-eyed girls taking their children to school, where they went only a few years ago.

But Katniss didn’t want to depend on a man. No, her pride is too big for that. She could handle herself and family just fine without anyone shooting up children in her stomach. Because she knew that marriage meant pregnancy. More humans to feed.

She had supported her family all her life, she didn’t want to do it all over again.

  
  


The same day that evening, Katniss, Primrose, and their mother had a quiet supper. They all ate Katniss favorite stew in silence, spoon hitting the old bowls and throat clearing up now and then.

Since it was spring, there were more animals to hunt and more game to eat. They must save already now to next winter, but it’s still much better than any other months. And it was Prim who insisted that they’d eat Katniss favorite food today, even if Katniss wanted a simple soup.

Their mother had been to town the same morning and came back recently after healing some people, and as Prim happily smiled (since she had vanilla cake this morning, plus her mother had a good day), Katniss almost waited for her mother to just stand up and go to her room, locking herself up for either a week or a month. Not that Katniss would care.

They kept eating, and Katniss wanted this dinner to be done with as fast as it could when her mother suddenly cleared her throat. Just louder this time.

“Sixteen years old now, Katniss. It’s a big number.”, she said with a faint and low voice. Katniss kept looking into her stew as she ate, only a few spoons left of it.

“It is.” It’s quiet for a moment more, and Katniss is finally done with the stew. She stands up fast with her bowl in her hand, cleaning her mouth with the backside of her other as she goes to the kitchen.

“A-actually…”, her mother says, raising her voice a little higher. Katniss stops in track and turns around. “I left a gift on your bed.” Before Katniss could react, Prim starts.

“What? I want to see! Mom, can I see?”

“No Primrose, only Katniss can see it.”

“Mom!”

As they argued, Katniss hurried herself to the kitchen, threw the bowl in the sink, almost ran to her and Prims room and closed the door behind her. She wanted to cry. She really wanted to, and it was either because of happiness or sadness. It’s a mixed feeling in Katniss, a feeling that confused her. Like she somehow must pay back for the gift. Yet she can’t because it’s her mother’s gift.

Katniss closed her eyes and shakes her head to clear her mind. She didn’t want to think about that. Instead, she glanced with half-open eyes at her and Prims bed and saw a black-grey package. It wasn’t wrapped up hurried and fast as they did in the Hob. It probably was something her mother had done herself, yet the child inside of the huntress wanted to throw herself on the bed and open it up as fast as she can. Katniss walk with three fast steps to the gift and takes is, sitting down on the bed before she starts to open it up. For every time she rips of the paper, she gets a hint what it is and she bites her lip when she realizes. Yet, she kept opening it slowly and painfully.

She starts to cry. Quiet and silent tears running down her cheeks. In the black-grey package lay the dress her mother married in. It’s beautiful.

She hates it.

  
  


A few days later, Katniss and Madge sit beside the table at the schoolyard, enjoying the rays of sunshine landing on them as they ate the vanilla cake that Katniss had taken as lunch. They sat in a comfortable silence, chewing on the old cake as Katniss thought about her mother's gift.

“What are you thinking about?”, asks her friend without looking at Katniss. Katniss would usually deny thinking about anything, but this time she blurts it out. Madge listens to her carefully, finally meeting her eyes away from the sun as she raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”, she mutters. “Why does she think I want to marry anyone, anyways?”

“She probably thinks you’ll marry Gale.” Katniss glanced at her friend angry as Madge tried to pretend she didn’t say anything wrong.

“Why would she think that?” Madge rolls her eyes as she chews on her cake. 

“Katniss,  _ everyone  _ thinks that.”

“Well,  _ everyone  _ is wrong.”, Katniss says annoyed, wiping her mouth with her hand. “I’m not interested in Gale and he isn’t interested in me-”

“Wrong.”

“-and I won’t marry anyone.”, Katniss mutters, ignoring Madge’s comment that almost sounded sad. “We are just friends, and nothing more.”

“Well, you tell him that, because I’m not blind and neither are you.” A lump creates in her stomach at the sound of her friend's bitter voice. Madge was right, Katniss isn’t blind.

  
  


The weekend came, and Katniss and Gale walked with small and quiet steps into the woods, the only sound that was heard was the birds singing and branches and leaves crushing under them. Since it was spring, she knew that she could get at least 5 squirrels or more. But she doubted it today.

As Katniss glanced at Gale discreet, she thought about yesterday. She had remembered her and Madge’s conversation about the marriage. She knew that Gale liked her, well,  _ everyone _ knew apparently, and that he probably thought that he would be the one she’d marry. But he was wrong. She wouldn’t marry anyone, and Katniss promised herself that she had to tell him today. So last night, she barely got any sleep. Thoughts flooded into her head, afraid that the statement would make it awkward, or even worse, destroying their relationship completely. And that was the last thing Katniss wanted.

Not daring to say anything for a while, they both did their daily routine. Shooting with the bow and arrow and checking up on the snares. Katniss signed with disappointment when she had two rabbits and two squirrels in her game bag, sitting on a stone waiting for Gale to check up the last snare.

“I got a rabbit.”, he says happily, walking back to the huntress as she yawned big. He raises an eyebrow questionably, and Katniss looks away, scratching her head almost guilty.

“I couldn’t sleep last night.”, she says. The hunter nods, but he keeps standing there like he wants to say something. Or like he waits for  _ her _ to say something.

Suddenly Katniss doesn’t know how to say it. Say something that would make everything so damn complicated, that she even considered to just marry him to ignore this part. But she couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be fair. To marry without love wasn’t something Katniss could do. So she had to say this today.

“Why haven’t you married anyone?”, Katniss suddenly ask, even if she thinks she knows the answer. Gale was two years older than herself, he could’ve married anyone by now.

The hunter looks down on the ground almost ashamed.

“You already know why, Catnip.” Katniss could feel the guilt build up in her stomach.  _ So it was her fault that he didn’t marry?  _ She had held him back all these years without knowing it only to say that she didn’t want him. Katniss felt horrible, and she almost backed out. “But now you are sixteen, so…” She flinches when he suddenly grabs her hand. It wasn’t soft, his hand was rough and hard from all the work in the mines and hunting. Katniss felt her cheeks burn up. “If you want, we can go to the Justice Building right now…” It’s quiet for a long time. She still looks down at their intertwined hand with a faint blush on her face, imagining his rough hand holding hers when they walked to the building, when they walked into their new home, when they ran over her body, when they held hers when she gave birth. Katniss bit her lips. She didn’t want any of that. It was so predicted, so hard. She didn’t know how to be a wife and a mother, but most importantly, she didn’t  _ want _ to be a wife and a mother. Katniss didn’t want this. So she looks up at Gale ashamed and whisper;

“I don’t want to.”


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss could feel a wind hit her, only this time it was much colder. The huntress still didn’t open her eyes, even if she became more awake than before. 

She had fallen asleep, she realized as she held her body more tightly. Her backside hurt, still sitting on the same hard stone that she sat on this morning. Katniss let her hands fall on her closed eyes, feeling the tender and swollen skin that must’ve been red by now.

The Huntress was still tired, but she remembered the fight so clearly. After she had told him no, they started to fight. He had screamed at her, and she had screamed at him but she doesn’t remember what they screamed. The only thing Katniss didn’t forget, was his small eyes when he whispered;  _ “If that’s the case, our friendship is over.” _

What she had feared the most happened, and as he left her all alone in the woods she couldn’t help but to hug and cry herself to sleep. Katniss opened her eyes and released the arms around her legs. Her neck was stiff and hurt, and she was cold. She wanted to go home. 

It not until a few seconds that she realized that it was dark outside. And Katniss suddenly freeze in panic, her eyes becoming wide in fear. 

How long has she been sleeping? she thought as she grabbed her game bag and run. Prim must be so worried. And the curfew.  _ Oh no, the curfew. _

She hoped that the odds were in her favor and that the peacekeepers wouldn’t notice her. 

  
  


The odds were  _ not _ in her favor, and a peacekeeper noticed her. 

As she was sneaking through town with light steps and a bowed neck, she prayed and prayed that no one would see her. Katniss walked along the houses like a raccoon and made sure every step was fast, yet soft. It wouldn’t be a problem, Katniss thought with a racing heart, I’m quiet. My steps are quiet. She just wanted to reach home. Prim must be so worried, poor Prim-

“Hey!” The huntress almost jumped out of her skin and feel a cold wave of nausea hit her, turning her head fast towards the scream. There, a man in white many houses away, aimed the light at her and Katniss covered her eyes at the flash, groaning loudly in fear before starting to run. “Stop!” 

Katniss had never run so fast in her life. She felt panic hit her, her lungs burned and she wanted to cry when she heard the peacekeeper run after her. The wind screamed into her ears, blowing past her and the bag hit her back every time she bounced. She ran over the town square and changed direction fast so she could confuse the peacekeeper. Hearing him scream after her to stop immediately. Katniss sobbed for air. 

What if they took her? Would they kill her? And Prim, how would she survive? Her mother would starve to death and Prim would have to marry and pop out babies every year whatever she liked it or not and Katniss wanted to scream back to the peacekeeper to shut up and let her think. 

It’s not until she hears a shot ringing in her ear that she stops and stumble down to the ground. Katniss eyes turn wide and her body freeze in cold, her body shaking and her hands stinging when it took the fall. She doesn’t understand what’s happening, doesn’t understand why she fell down. Like someone poured water on her shoulder, she feels liquid cling into her shirt fast. And with a shaking head, she glances down to her shoulder, only to see red growing on the textile. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline, but she doesn’t feel any pain. And when she hears two more men screaming after her whereabouts, Katniss stands up and run. She breathes heavy, clenching her wound tight so it wouldn’t drip more blood and follow her like a trail, and her mouth is dry. Water and home was the only thing Katniss wanted, but she realized fast that it wasn’t possible. The peacekeepers blocked her way to the Seam, so she ran to town. Without looking, she saw a spring between two houses, impossible to see her if they didn't look right through. So Katniss hurries and runs in between the little road that leads to the backside of the house, sweat running down her face as she held her breath so no one would notice her. Finally, Katniss reach the end and turn once more, leaning on the blue wooden walls as she held her breath, hearing the peacekeepers run past her hiding place. Katniss almost expect them to sniff their way to her but is surprised when she hears their voices further and further away. 

Katniss finally breathes out, and her legs couldn’t hold her up any longer. Like a leaf, she falls to the ground with shaky intakes and tries to hold in her sobs, but can’t. It escapes her and soon tears run down her cheeks and the pain in her shoulder grows.  _ She was about to die. She almost died. _ Her thoughts only make her cry even more and she lifted her hand against the shoulder. Her hand is covered in blood and was filled with dirt from her fall. It stung but was nothing compared to what she felt right now. Lungs burned, mouth dry, backache and legs uncontrollably. Katniss didn’t know if the bullet actually was inside her shoulder or not, but it felt like it. And the thought almost made her dizzy. 

“Holy shit…” Katniss jumps and snatches her head towards the sound, eyes wide in fear when she sees a blonde, middle-aged man. Sitting on the steps by the door right beside her with a cigarette in his hand, almost burned out. He looked at her with wide eyes, shocked to see a girl bleeding against his house and Katniss wants to vomit.  _ How did she not notice him? _

She tries to stand up and falls several times as she puts her one hand up in the air slowly, tears and sobs escaping her like a waterfall as she pleads. Just when she thought she was safe. 

“P-Please”, she cries. “Please, I-I’m sorry, so sorry- don’t tell them I’m here- God please, I beg you!” Katniss has never been so scared in her life.  _ Never. _ Why wouldn’t he tell the peacekeeper? She had walked on his land and she doesn’t owe him anything. But Katniss closed her eyes and asked for mercy, thinking about her sister. About her mother, Madge, and Gale. They would see her get executed public and she doesn’t want to. She wants to  _ live _ .

“Hey- Hey, calm down.”, the man said standing up, but Katniss couldn’t calm down. “I won’t tell them, come inside so I can help you.” 

Katniss lifts her head, seeing through blurry wet eyes how he burns his cigarette before walking towards her. He places his hand on her shoulder and slowly leads her on to the steps to the door. Maybe this man would do stuff to her something far worse than the peacekeepers would do if they had caught her. But the warmth and dizziness, once she gets inside, hit her, and she doesn’t feel fear much longer. She realizes that everything, fear, comfort, blood loss and a warm place, makes her very tired.

Katniss doesn’t remember much, but he lets her lay down on the couch and as she wakes up and falls back between pain and sleep, she sees the man treat her hands and shoulders gently. Only small glimpses, but she remembers how he talked her through when he would do.

“I’m going to put a bandage on- shit, I’m sorry. I suck at this…”, he mumbled as he rolled it around, in between her armpit and around again. When he was done, he gave her some water that she drank like a wildling, before finally falling in a deep sleep. 

 

 

Katniss should feel uncomfortable, but she wasn’t. 

After opening her eyes, she lets last nights memories flow into her head again. The pain in her shoulder reminding her clearly. 

The fight with Gale, the peacekeepers scream, the bullet hitting her, begging to a man she couldn’t see clearly in the dark and getting treated by him. And then, falling asleep on his couch. Katniss should feel uncomfortable, but she wasn’t. It was way too warm in the living room, Katniss realized as she stood up carefully, and the smell of bread made her mouth water. The sun hasn’t gone up yet, so either someone baked bread in the middle of the night, or very very early in the morning. Katniss looked around. She sat alone on the couch, on the floor was a cup of water beside her that she drank up immediately. Used bandage, cotton pads, napkins and scissors that the man had used on her was scattered all over the old carpet with big flower designs on them. 

Before she could bend down and clean the mess caused by her, the door opened and she looked up to see the man who saved her last night. And she knew right away who he was. 

Peeta Mellark. The baker. Who owned the bakery. She was in Mellark’s Bakery. That explained the smell of bread. 

“Mr. Mellark…”, Katniss whisper, her voice sore and heavy. Peeta closed the door behind himself, smiling at her before bending down to pick up the dirty items. 

“Are you feeling better, miss...?” 

“Katniss. Everdeen.”, she said. He didn’t look at her, yet he continued. “You were lucky, Miss Everdeen. The bullet barely missed you. Only a scratch. Nothing to worry about.” Katniss doesn’t know what to say. She still felt a lot of pain, but she was more embarrassed if anything. How the hell, of all people, did she manage to land in the bakery’s backyard? She had traded there numerous times with Peeta’s father, so maybe her mind  unconsciously rann for what she thought was safety. It was, actually. She was sure that if it was any other merchant, they would have thrown her away on the street like a dead rat. She knew that the men in the Mellark family are nice, especially the father. Not the mother though… But Katniss truly was lucky. 

“How… How long was I asleep?”

“Nine hours.” Peeta looked up at her for the first time, a small smile on his lips. “It’s five in the morning.” Katniss swallowed down the dry air in her mouth, her cheeks red. She wanted to apologize, but Peeta left the room before coming back with a towel. “The curfew isn’t over until an hour or so. You should take a shower. To clean the blood off.” 

 

 

Peeta showed her to the bathroom and gave her soap and clean clothes that belonged to a girl probably a few years older than her. He mentioned that it was his brother’s wife’s clothes that she left here and that they would probably fit her. And before Katniss could thank him, or make this any more awkward, he had left her alone. She stared at his back until he left the hall before locking the door and going to the mirror, seeing her awfully puffy red face. Dirty and sore from all the crying and sweating. 

“How did this happen…?”, Katniss whispered to herself, placing her hand on her cheek before shaking her head. It was hard, but with one hand she managed to take off all her clothes and underwear. Sometimes she accidentally moved to fast, the pain hitting her hard as she winced. She let the bandage be, not wanting to see her bloody wound before finally dipping down into the bathtub much bigger than her own. The warm water helped Katniss relax, and she let out a moan in pleasure. Mellark. She was laying in their bathtub, enjoying herself.

Katniss placed an arm over her eyes. Never in her life did she think of the Mellarks of something else than an average family. Sure, she traded with the father once a week, and she knew that the mother hated Seams. And Peeta…. It was that one time when she was so young and weak that he gave her that burnt bread and saved her life…. 

_ Ugh!  _ A rock of guilt suddenly placed itself in Katniss’ stomach. This is the second time that Peeta Mellark had saved her life. And she never thanked him for it. Paid for it. She was too embarrassed to actually thank him and pay an extra squirrel or something. Several years went and she forgot all about it and she was sure that he did too. And now? What was she supposed to do now? Peeta had done something illegal for her. He hid her from peacekeepers, a violator. Treated her wounds. And she didn’t know how to pay him back. She had nothing. An extra squirrel is nothing compared to what he has done for her.  _ Twice. _

Katniss sighed. It was hard to be a Seam. Always paying back. She wished she could say thank you and move on, but her pride was too big for that. 

 

 

After she was finished, she put on the clothes carefully and detangled her hair with her fingers, making sure to get the worst clumps. She once again looked in the mirror and was satisfied. The huntress still looked tired and sore, but she looked more clean, fresh and smelled good. Stable.  

Katniss, who didn’t know what to do, went with small steps towards the kitchen down the hall were she heard sounds. And there he was, placing a plate filled with pastries on the table and looked up to Katniss, who awkwardly played with her hands. 

“Miss. Everdeen, I made you some breakfast. Please, sit down.” Katniss didn’t dare to obey, so she sat down on the chair.

“I have some work to do, so I will meet you at the counter. It’s right through that door.”, he pointed. And once again, before Katniss could say anything, he left. 

Katniss was sure that she never in her life had such a good breakfast like this. Every chew of the cheesy pastry together with the tea made her hum in pleasure. Peeta had placed four big rolls for her, and she ate them all. She only wished that she saved one for Prim when it was too late. Wanting to be some good, Katniss took the plate and the cup and washed it with soap and a sponge she found beside the sink. As she did, she looked at the window where the sun slowly raised up, birds waking the district up. She needs to go home and make sure that Prim was all right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for such nice comments on the last update! I appreciate it very much<33
> 
> The next chapter we're going deeper into Peeta's life and his darker POV. Be ready... 
> 
> ~Lenkia


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE TAGS
> 
> you don't have to but if you're sensitive you should, just saying C:

 

Katniss took her bloody clothes and placed it in her game bag which she found by the door where she stepped inside last night. And in there she saw the squirrels and rabbits that had managed to follow her all the way from the woods, throughout the dramatic run to the bakery. If the meat had gone bad, she didn’t know. And she definitely didn’t want to give Peeta bad meat as a thank. Going through the door were Peeta was working, Katniss made sure that she’d figure something out. 

Closing the door behind her, she immediately saw the storefront, the counter that was dusty and old. And there were no customers either, not this early in the morning. Katniss always walked past the bakery in the afternoons after hunting and watched through the window people buying loaves of bread from either Peeta or his father. It was always crowded, but now that Katniss looks around, it’s more likely that it’s too small. Katniss had always thought that they had the most money in town when she saw a line form by the front door. Maybe they weren’t.

Katniss slowly walked through the door to the backside and immediately saw Peeta kneading the dough with his back towards her. He stood right beside the oven, which gave away heat like waves and Katniss already started to sweat. The whole room was covered with flour like a layer of dust and the counters had crumbs all scattered across it.

For the first time, without Peeta telling her what to do with good intention and not letting her think, Katniss finally glance at Peeta who worked his muscles with the dough over the counter, and thinks about him. Not about his cheese rolls or how to pay him back. Only about Peeta Mellark. His blonde hair curly glued on his skin with the help of his sweat, and she remembered his icy blue eyes that told her to calm down. She couldn’t lie to herself, he was handsome. Attractive. He looked a lot like his father, Katniss realized. A lot. She barely saw Peeta, if not through the window walking past the bakery. And besides how he saved her life two times, she doesn’t know much about him. She knew that his older brothers were married since the whole district talked about their weddings, but she didn’t know anything about him. 

It wasn’t that odd, really. He must be at least in his 20-30’s or so. Hearing or talking gossip about a 20-year-old wasn’t something girls in their 16th’s did. It was more interesting to hear about who went to the slagheap this time or if a classmate got married. But somehow, Katniss wanted to know more about him. Because he saved her, or because she owed him, she didn’t know. She would ask Madge if she knew something about him. After all, she was the mayor's daughter. She knew everyone’s business.

Peeta suddenly turns around and Katniss’ cheeks turn into a deep shade of red when he lifts his eyebrow questioningly.

“You scared me, Miss. Everdeen.”, Peeta says with a smile. Not anything on his face expression showing any kind of fear.

“P-please, call me Katniss.”, Katniss stammered.  _ Oh, God. This couldn’t get more embarrassing _ . But Peeta keeps smiling, almost like it’s a duty and turns around again to place the pieces of dough in the oven. 

“I hope you feel better now, Katniss.” Katniss is quiet for a long time and he glances over his shoulder while wiping the flour on his apron. Waiting for an answer.

“I… I don’t know how to thank you.”, she whispers, looking down at her fingers like they would help her in any kind of way. She suddenly remembers how she begged the man for her life and cried like a baby only a few hours ago, and Katniss wants to die and disappear at the thought. S _ o embarrassing... _

Peeta looks at her for a long time, with nothing but an empty stare that makes Katniss shiver in coldness, even if she was sweating. Maybe she was too tired before, but she realizes now that his behavior has been like that since she came. Smile, talk to her formally and guide her. Like one of his customers. Predictably, he smiles again. That empty smile he keeps doing like he was standing by the counter and Katniss doesn’t know how to feel about that. 

“I know that it isn’t my business, but I’m quite curious.” He occupies himself by cleaning the table where he just worked, his back towards her again. Katniss secretly admires his muscles tensing. “I woke up by the sound of the peacekeepers, so I went outside for a smoke. The next thing I know, there is an almost shot girl begging for mercy by my doorstep.” Katniss swallowed audibly. He didn’t need to re-tell everything again,  _ thank you very much, _ but she knew what he was coming with this. 

“I… had a fight. With a friend.” He gave her so much, she could at least give him honesty back. “And I fell asleep in the forest. The next thing I know, I’m being chased by a peacekeeper.” Peeta turns his head towards her and lifts an eyebrow questionably. “I hunt. You know… I trade with your father once a week.”, she says matter of factly. 

“Ah, now I recognize you.” Peeta nods his head. “Yes, my dad always appreciate your work.” 

Katniss nods her head and they both become silent. 

“Once again, I don’t know how to thank you Mr. Mellark… If there is anything I can do…”, Katniss tries again but doesn’t get the answer she expected.

“I’ll come up with something.” She doesn’t know what it is that makes her freeze. Either his eyes that turned small, his smirk or the words filled with some odd tension that makes her shiver. The way he looked at her was uncomfortable, and she felt like a prey. A puppet even, that he could use just because of the situation. She had to pay back, and he could use her however he wanted. Katniss didn’t like this. Not at all. 

She says her goodbye fast before she leaves, and his eyes don’t leave her until she’s out of sight. 

 

 

“Katniss! Katniss!” Opening the front door, Prim immediately run towards her sister with big eyes filled with tears and jumps into her lap. Katniss grabs her back immediately, hugging her so tight that the wound reminded her to calm down. But all Katniss can think about is how she ran from the peacekeeper, thinking about her little sister starve to death or see her bigger sister get executed. But now, she was alright.

She was safe. 

 

 

* * *

 

Peeta had watched the young little huntress walk out the front door and hurry across town before anyone saw her. A smirk spreads across his face fast and he walks towards the oven to take out the loaves of bread. 

It was funny that he had saved her two times and still didn't know her name. But now he knew. Katniss Everdeen. No wonder his mother didn’t like the girl. Peeta knows Katniss hasn’t forgotten, and neither does he. That rainy day several years ago. How he walked to the young girl who was probably seven-eight years old and gave her that burnt bread like it was worth gold. And how she took it like it was a gift from God with wide eyes and shaking hands. Even if it was only that. Burnt bread. 

Peeta remembers that night clearly. Lord, what a beating he got. He laughs for himself.  _ Shit, he almost died that night _ . If it wasn’t for his brothers stopping their mother, Peeta would probably be half eaten by worms deep down in the ground. He couldn’t walk straight for a month and every time he breathed it hurt like a bitch. Thinking about it now, Peeta was sure he had broken a few ribs. That night was the last time he questioned himself if there was even a tiny bit of love inside his mother for him.

The front door opens, and Peeta sees his father coming in. Mr. Mellark walks slowly, now old with constant back pain, paying back for all these years he been leaning over bowls of batter. He smiles big, wrinkled eyes showing nothing but love for his son and Peeta can’t help but smile back, but not fully. He can’t drop that memory of his mother that easily.

“Dad, you should be resting,” Peeta says, glancing at the clock over the front door. It stands six-thirty.

“Oh, you know how it is, son. I wake up early. Old habits die hard.” Peeta nods, watching the old man walk towards the one chair in the corner that was placed there especially for him. 

When Peeta turned 25 and didn’t seem to be going anywhere, Mr. Mellark convinced his wife that it was time to move out and give the bakery to their youngest son, together with the apartment over it. Mr. Mellark had become old, and couldn’t put up with the kneading and the heat anymore. Of course, Mrs. Mellark had made a fuss out of it. She refused to move and even worse, refused to give him the bakery. Peeta still didn’t owe the bakery because of his mother who just liked to see him suffer. And because of his too nice/too afraid father that didn’t dare to say anything otherwise. He had been like that Peeta’s whole childhood. Even when receiving beatings like a stray dog, he didn’t dare to open his mouth. What would’ve changed now? But Mr. Mellark managed to buy a house a few blocks away and, after months of convincing, take his wife with him. To retire and live peacefully. Yet, every day Mr. Mellark comes to help Peeta in the bakery. Either to escape his awful wife or just for the pleasure of it. 

“Your mother is making stew for supper. The one with carrots and beef. You should come. Graham and Rye will be there too. Just family.” Peeta stares at his father for a long time, and Mr. Mellark swallows nervously. Like he’s trying to fool his son, but knows damn well he can’t. He even looks a bit scared and Peeta suddenly wants to laugh. It’s weird, he knows, but he likes to laugh when it becomes too much in his mind. Maybe it’s because he finds it funny being tortured instead of feeling sorry for himself, knowing it won’t help. Crying like he always did during his childhood. Or maybe his mother just hit him on the head with the rolling pin sometime during his teens and fucked his brain. But either way, it wasn’t the first time she had done these kinds of suppers. Every month, she gathers the family (just family, no daughters-in-law) and notes to everyone that they were worthless. And she never forgets to pick a little bit extra on Peeta. Reminding him constantly that the bakery  _ still _ doesn’t belong to him. That she can any moment sell it (more like,  _ force _ her husband to sell it) and make him homeless. So he has to crawl back to his parents and beg for a place to stay. And Peeta would absorb every word into his brain and it would replay in his head over and over again when he tries to sleep until next months supper. 

The bakery is everything Peeta has. He doesn’t have anything else. And he knows what his mother is capable of doing. He knows that very well. She isn’t afraid to destroy him. But Peeta is. He loves his bakery. He can’t lose it and he doesn’t want to anger her. So he gives his father an empty smile, eyes small and hums low. 

“Of course I’ll come.” 

 

 

Peeta was the last one to arrive at the house, and he gave his brothers a hug each when greeting them in the kitchen. Nothing more. Not a word said. Their mother stood with her back towards them, working over the pot of stew and stirring it without even glancing at Peeta. It’s too quiet. Too tense. It’s like they were in the enemy's territory and accepted their death, with awkward glances and often clearing their throats. Their father walks in, noticing how the three brothers stand by the table and insist that they sit down. They do, Peeta sitting at the edge of the table with both his hands on his knees. Graham starts to talk after a moment, about how he and his wife want to increase their family and Rye congrats him with a clap on his back. Soon the four Mellark men get into a calm conversation about Graham’s future plans until Mrs. Mellark slams the stew on the table, as someone forced her to cook and invite her sons. And the conversation dies as fast as it’s born. 

They eat in silence, Peeta’s eyes never leaving his plate since his mother sits right in front of him. It’s odd how he still hates the sight of his mother's hateful glare even after all these years. It still affects him. 

“So,”, Rye starts with a smirk, dragging his ‘o’ while putting down his fork. “I and Rose talked about moving. Y’know, it’s hard when your parents-in-law are sleeping right under us.” Graham snorts and Mr. Mellark scratches his head with a painful groan. Peeta doesn’t dare to see his mother reaction. It was always Rye’s big mouth that got himself in trouble with their mother. Graham’s only problem was the whole baking. He wasn’t good at it. At all. Often burning trays of bread. Even then, she barely hit him since he was more like their mother than any of the boys. And Peeta? Well, he just existed. That was enough. “We thought maybe closer to the bakery, so we can meet you more often.” Peeta lifts his head, realizing that his brother is talking to him.

“Yeah, you never leave that bakery anymore Peeta.”, Graham adds with a soft smile. “You work way to hard. Ever since you took over-” A sudden snort interrupts the eldest brother, making all the boys turn their head towards their mother, who looked at Graham with nothing but disgust. 

“Sweetheart, you talk to him like he  _ owns _ the bakery.” 

“Well, mother... he does-” 

“Not until I say he does. I know very well that everything that boy touches gets destroyed.”, she spits. “Nothing but a disgrace. From the day he was born. Why shouldn’t I give the bakery to Graham, huh? He visits his parents often, sends us money and  _ respects _ us. You? You don’t even give us a penny.” 

“Honey, calm down-” Mr. Mellark whispers. But it’s only that. A whisper.

“At least Graham can keep the name ‘Mellark’ alive and give the bakery to his children after himself. You, you stupid boy, aren’t even married! And why would someone want to marry a boy like you, who can’t even pay us a dime? You’re a disgrace, Peeta Mellark! A shame to this family.” 

It quiet. Rye looks down at his plate with nothing to say, Graham glance at Peeta with sadness and pity and their father keeps eating like nothing ever happened. Like every word flowed into his ear and went out from the other. And Peeta? Peeta keeps looking at the women who birthed him with a stare that contained nothing. Not a glimpse of sadness, fear or even anger. Just a gaze, black like a void that his mother answers back with only hate.

Peeta wants to laugh, he realizes as he stands up. He really wants to laugh at the whole situation. But instead, he leaves the kitchen, feeling their stares on him as he walks to the back door with shaky steps until he reaches the doorknob and opens it. Sitting down on the ground beside the door, he takes out a cigarette from his back pocket as he starts to smirk, mouth in a wide grin as he takes the white stick between his lips. Giggles filling the air as Peeta looks up at the orange sky that waved goodbye to the sun for today. He lit up the cigarette with shaky hands, inhaling the smoke to help him relax. It doesn’t, so he looks at it and his hands shakes with anger. That the fucking stick of smoke doesn’t do anything like it’s supposed to. It doesn’t  _ fucking _ work! So he crushes it into his arm and feels the burning into his skin so satisfyingly good as he inhales deeply, feeling his body calm down somehow. He remembers how he used to cry when receiving beatings, the pain so unbearable. He doesn’t feel any of that anymore. 

_ How strange. _

He throws the cigarette away fast and covers the black burned skin under his sleeve. Peeta closes his eyes with his hands over them as he tries to control his laughs. 

When he does, he exhales and feels the spring wind hit him softly, reminding him that one day he would hurt his mother dearly. That one day she will pay for all his pain. Physically wasn’t enough. It helps Peeta relax a little when he thinks about it. 

Peeta goes back inside again. And his family pretends like the abuse Peeta goes through daily ever since he was a child, never really happens. Rye puts desert in front of him, Graham talks about his future children's names and Mr. Mellark agrees happily by his choices. No one looks at him. Like it never  _ fucking _ happened. 

Peeta guesses that it’s easier for them to cope that way.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what y'all thought about Peeta, thank you for reading <33
> 
> In the next chapter, we'll find out Peeta's answer on how Katniss is going to pay back her debt... ;)
> 
> ~Lenkia


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

“You- you what?”, Madge cried in a whisper, making Katniss roll her eyes in annoyance. “You… you turned down Gale?” It wasn’t really fair of Katniss to be angry at Madge. She had told her everything about last night, except for the fact that she landed in the Mellark bakery with a shot wound in her shoulder. She said that she stayed the night in the forest and had told Prim the same story too, so she wouldn’t worry. And Katniss wanted to tell Madge that turning down Gale was  _ not _ the worst thing that happened here, but that she nearly got killed is. But, as she said, it wasn’t fair to be angry since Madge didn’t know the whole story. 

It was something inside of Katniss that told her to keep quiet about the whole thing. Sure, not telling Madge about getting chased by a peacekeeper is reasonable. Trusting Madge with such a secret could get her killed if it came out. She should keep that to herself. But about getting treated from Peeta Mellark wasn’t something she had to keep. Yet, Katniss didn’t want to share such an odd, tender moment in her life with her friend. It was weird, but Katniss still kept her mouth shut.     

“Madge, you know I don’t have any feelings towards him.”  _ But Katniss was hundred that Madge had _ . Confirming it true, the mayor's daughter looked at her feet with a blush across her cheeks, picking at her nails like she was unbothered by the whole thing. 

“I thought that you would say yes. We _ all  _ did…” Katniss really doesn’t want to ask who ‘all’ was, and she didn’t want to talk about Madge’s crush either. Gale and Madge were like ice and fire. Black and white. Being with one of them is like being in a whole different world. That’s why Katniss got so surprised seeing them together a week ago on her birthday and Katniss doesn’t even want to think about Madge’s odd behavior when talking about her friend. It’s too disturbing and it’s weird knowing that Madge, the only friend she had at school, likes Katniss’ only friend, outside of school. But, they weren’t friends anymore. According to Gale a few days ago. Katniss feels a deep pain in her chest that she ignores and decide that she won’t bring this topic up again. 

“Madge, I won’t get married. Ever.”, Katniss states.

“Sure, sure. We’ll see about that in the future.” Katniss rolls her eyes and looks up at the sun that shines happily. They were sitting once again on the table at the schoolyard. Waves of spring air hitting her gently as leaves sway with the wind. Summer would come soon and Katniss couldn’t wait. That would mean better hunting and she could swim in the lake her father showed her years ago. That would be amazing. But the pain in her shoulder reminds her. Even after eating some painkillers she took from her mothers working bag, it still throbs under her shirt. 

Katniss open up her eyes again and reminds herself that  _ nothing _ would be amazing until she pays back. 

“Madge…” Her friends who were busy enjoying the sun hums with her eyes closed, leaning back on the bench and embracing the warmth. “Do you know anything about Peeta Mellark?” Regret fills Katniss when Madge turns her head to her friend questioningly, both eyebrows lifted shocked. 

“Peeta Mellark? The baker?” Katniss nods. “Hm… I know that he had two older brothers. Both married. They work for their fathers-in-law now. One of them, I think, was the butcher’s daughter… I’m not sure.” 

“Something else?” Madge suddenly gives Katniss a smirk. 

“Don’t tell me you saw Peeta Mellark walking around the bakery shirtless when you crept your way home yesterday morning.” 

“Just continue!”, Katniss burst out angry with a blush, thinking of his muscles working over the dough. 

“He won like a prize for wrestling in school years ago. I remember father giving it to him after a match when I was younger. A long time ago. His mother used to hit him often. And he is the one making those beautiful decorations on the cakes. You know, the ones by the window. I bought a cake on my mothers birthday a year ago, and he told me-” Katniss almost choked on the air she breathed and lifted her hand up. 

“Wait, wait what?”, Katniss asks. “His mother hit him? How do you know that?” 

“Katniss,  _ everyone _ knows that. Knew that, to be frankly. It happened like 10 years ago. Mother used to buy stuff at the Mellark’s all the time when she was healthy, and every time she came home and talked about how she felt so sorry for him. And it was. That woman is a witch.” Madge paused for a second. “It wasn’t like a spank, Katniss. Mother told me. It was  _ brutal _ . Like, black eyes and everything.”

Katniss breaks eye contact with Madge and swallows in discomfort. God, she wasn’t supposed to know this. All Katniss wanted was some information about the man she owed, not something  _ this _ personal. Suddenly, that smile he gave her didn’t feel so superficial anymore. It felt deep. Dark. Like a mystery, she somehow wants to know about. It doesn’t make the whole thing better that Peeta said those tension-filled words yesterday. Like he  _ wants _ her to fall down the rabbit hole.

“But he’s really handsome.”, Madge ads. Katniss agrees in her head. 

 

 

Katniss heart is about to explode when she’s walking past the peacekeepers in town. They’re all in white yet everyone looks like the one chasing Katniss three days ago. She doesn’t even remember how he looked like but still shivers when she thinks one of them stares at her a little too long. The pain from her shoulder bugs her and Katniss do everything in her power to walk normally like anyone else. Katniss can’t relax until she reaches the bakery, the sound of the door closing behind her makes her exhale. 

It’s empty by the counter, and there are no customers around. She looks around the small storefront nervously, fidgeting with the bag she’s holding that contained one of the Mellark’s wife's clothes. The second Katniss got home, she made sure to wash them nicely so they wouldn’t smell bad. Laying a few branches of lavender in the water like she always did. She also placed some meat in the bag, wrapped in paper nicely. Not much, only for one person and Katniss debated many times in her head if she should take it out or not. Hiding a law-breaker did  _ not _ equally rabbit meat. 

Peeta comes to the disk and Katniss almost jump out of her skin, making the baker smile softly as he wiped his hands on a towel. He leans over the counter, placing both his hand on the edge comfortably.

“Katniss, what can I do for you?” Madge comment about how handsome Peeta is suddenly popped up in her head, making the huntress blush in embarrassment. Because he really is. Katniss admires his smile that causes a dimple to pop up on his left cheek and how the white t-shirt hugs his body as they did on statues. He looked his age, 25 or so, yet his skin was flawlessly smooth. 

“I’m here to give back the clothes I borrowed.”, Katniss finally manage to say, shaking her head back to reality. “Thank you!” She gives Peeta the bag over the counter. “I placed some meat in there too. Rabbit. It’s really good baked with rosemary.” Peeta opens the bag with lifted eyebrows like he didn’t mind rabbit for today's dinner before giving her a smile. 

“Thank you.” Peeta turns around to place the bag inside and Katniss feels a big wave of anxiety hit her as she follows him beside the disk nervously.  _ This isn’t enough _ . Katniss already knew that, but she wanted to make sure that he did too.

“Mr. Mellark.” He stops midway and glances at her over his shoulder. “I... “ Peeta notice her nervous behavior and Katniss can’t help but shiver. “You said that you’ll come up with something…” It feels like she’s doing something bad. Something wrong. Like this secret would lead to some really bad consequences. It doesn’t have to be like that, really. He can force her to pay with free squirrels for a week or something. Not… whatever she has in mind that makes her stomach hurt by the thought of it. He may have treated her so perfectly three night’s ago, but maybe he did that so she got tricked into thinking he was safe. Katniss has to be careful. 

Peeta gives her yet another smirk, making the huntress swallow audibly. He takes a few predatory steps towards her and Katniss is truly thankful that the disk stands between them, otherwise, she would have screamed in panic and hit him. Instead, he leans across the counter, leaning his head to the side like he was looking for any flaws on her before giving her that empty smile again. 

“I have.” Katniss holds her breath. “You’ll be working for me. Six-thirty to eleven-thirty and will get payment in bread if you work well. Like a small reward, we can call it. You can skip school for a few weeks, right?” Katniss doesn’t know what to say. She keeps staring at the baker while he goes back to drop the bag, leaving her shocked and confused. Sure, Katniss could skip school. They both knew that the education wasn’t worth any second of their lives. But the fact that she gets to work at the Mellark bakery to pay back was almost a relief, and happiness filled Katniss to the core. She could finally pay back to Peeta without feeling like a bomb would drop over her any second. She would work her time and leave happy without debt. Katniss wouldn’t be able to hunt on the mornings as often, though, but summer was nearing and growing vegetables would be possible again. They could live off bread and vegetables for a few weeks. And even meat!

Peeta comes back, and Katniss lits up with a smile. 

“I can! When do I start?” Peeta lift both his eyebrows shocked before smiling.

“How about tomorrow?” 

 

 

The Everdeen family sat around their table and ate. A quiet yet odd supper, including the mother who’d been up and working for two whole weeks. Katniss was in a good mood and Prim noticed immediately.

“What’s up with you Katniss? Why are you so happy?” Even if the little sister had no clue what it was, she still smiled back and giggled like Katniss already had told her and it was some  _ really _ good news. But Katniss couldn’t expose the whole truth, so she smirked back at her sister while chewing her food. 

“I’m going to work at the Mellark bakery. We’ll get bread every day for a few weeks.” Prim gasped in amazement as she jumped in her chair and their mother looked up at her daughter with lifted eyebrows. 

“That’s amazing Katniss! How?” 

“I just… you know…”, Katniss muttered, looking down at her plate with a half-hearted smile. “I asked if I could work a few weeks and he said yes.” 

“Peeta Mellark?”, their mother asked. Katniss nods her head. 

“Well… was that all? Nothing else?” The huntress looks at her sister with a questionable facial expression, trying to read her plastered poker-face that she couldn’t keep up long. Katniss looks at their mother, who glanced back at her with a soft smile. 

That when she understands, closing her eyes and letting out a tired sigh while placing her hand over her face. The anger inside of her catching like fire.  _ Great, now her mood went down again. _

“Yeah, I turned down Gale, by the way!”, Katniss bursts out and she hears Prim dramatic inhale and a fork hitting the plate hard. If it was anything that made Katniss annoyed, it was the fact that providing for this family was less important than a marriage proposal that's the  _ only _ purpose was the man providing for  _ her _ family. When Katniss could do it all by herself just fine! 

“Why would you do that, Katniss?”  _ Because I don’t want yet another family to take care of when my whole childhood went on taking care of you! _

“I just don’t want to Prim. I’m going to bed, I have to wake up early tomorrow.” Katniss left the table and straight to the bed. Covering herself in the sheets even if she was warm. But it was still a comfort somehow.

Katniss clenched her eyes hard and tries not to cry. 

_ Why wasn’t she enough? _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Sooooo, school just started this week so I'll be busy with homework, so I'll try to update every three days. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed today's chapter! 
> 
> ~Lenkia


	5. Chapter 5

 

Walking into the bakery six-fifteen, Peeta is nowhere in sight. Katniss is sure that he’s in the back baking for the morning, scratching her eye with the palm of her hand as she walks behind the counter on the side furthest in. Instead of good night sleep to load up for the first day at her job, her night contained nothing but nightmares. She hoped it wouldn’t affect her ability to work as it did with her hunting. 

Immediately, Katniss feels a wave of heat hit her dramatically caused by the oven and sees Peeta work just like she did the same morning four days ago. 

“Mr. Mellark.”, Katniss says, making her presence known. He turns around and great her with a smile, clapping the flour away from his hands. 

“Katniss. Welcome.” Before she knows it, he grabs an apron and puts it over her head, the action making her blush if it wasn’t so hurried and somehow professional. He leads her to the counter and explains everything she needs to do to accomplish the day. The information keeps coming from his mouth fast yet direct as she tries to remember the most of. 

“Don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything.” And he leaves once again. Leaving Katniss somewhat shocked. Peeta was in full working-mood and so should she. 

Katniss worked hard the first couple of hours. Customers came in one after the other buying their orders. Some were coal miners, only a few, hungering for a good breakfast on their break, while most of them were Merchants. And if they eyed Katniss suspiciously, she didn’t notice. Too stressed and focused on her job. Some even asked were Mr. Mellark was, the elder one, and Katniss didn’t have an answer to that. So she replied easy and said that she was taking over for a few weeks. And before they could nod understanding or glare accusatory, she greeted the next customer with a smile. Just like Peeta taught her.

Around nine, two and a half hour later, it finally started to slow down and Katniss sat down on the chair that she took from the corner exhausted. She didn’t expect this to be so tiring, her neck and legs aching of all the standing. But the most tiresome part of it all was the surrounding. The storefront was small, yet people managed to push themselves in and hundreds of voices talked over each other while Katniss almost needed to scream when taking orders. It didn’t make the whole thing better than children came with their mother early in the morning, crying and wailing in hunger and sleepiness that made Katniss almost cry with them. People were stressed and overstrained and smiles didn’t do them much either.    
Despite that, Katniss was proud of her accomplishments. She wasn’t done just yet, but the worst part was over. Even without much sleep, she managed the morning rush. She breathed out with relief and a big yawn, covering her mouth.  

“Tired?” Peeta walked out from the back, placing some loaves of bread under the glass beside the counter that smelled amazing.

“Yeah. I didn’t get much sleep.” She doesn’t know why she says that. Why he would care, but he waits on her to continue, standing up and giving her his fullest attention. “Nightmares.” Thankfully, it’s empty in the store so no one except Peeta can hear. She scratches her neck, looking at anywhere but him as she smiles embarrassedly. “That night… It still scares me when I think about it.” Just talking about it made Katniss feel much better than before. Like two heavy stones lifted from her shoulders. It was hard to not be able to tell anyone that she almost died. Got _ killed _ . That she almost got shot, the bullet hitting her skin barely and causing a wound she hid from her closest. She still remembers clearly how she ran and ran and thought about getting executed while her sister screamed her name over and over again. It made her eyes tear thinking about the fear she experienced when she saw Peeta’s wide eyes, knowing that someone saw her and could scream after the peacekeepers that she was right there. It made her dizzy when she remembered all the blood and how it could leave drops after her and may be the cause of her death. 

All these feelings and she couldn’t say anything to  _ anyone _ . All they thought about was the proposal from Gale that she denied. Like it was the  _ worst _ thing in the world.

“I can’t imagine...”, Peeta whispers. “You’re too young to experience that kind of stuff. You should be  _ enjoying _ your youth, not dream nightmares and live in constant fear.” Katniss wanted to tell him that she never had time to enjoy youth and that she still didn’t. Working and hunting constantly to provide for her family. But she nods anyway and turns her head to face him. He smiles softly, blue eyes shining with relief. Like he’s thankful that she’s still alive and it makes Katniss heartbeat go a little faster. 

“Thank you...”, she says again. “For everything...” She should be embarrassed, but she can’t stop her words. Because she truly is thankful. Even if Peeta didn’t know, yet knew more than Prim, mother, and Madge, it was so nice to hear someone caring for her and not  _ her and Gale _ . And to know that she didn’t have to carry this secret all by herself. Peeta places his hand on her shoulder, his dimple showing up together with a radiant glow that makes Katniss cheeks turn scarlet red, looking up at him like he was the sun she worshiped. 

“I’m glad that I found you that night.”  _ So was she. _

 

 

“Madge?”, Katniss whispers to herself, hurrying towards her house where she saw her blond friend stick out like spot on a white shirt. She didn’t fit in in the dark, gloomy area. Sitting on the doorstep as she examines her nails while humming on a song. Her friends look carefree, so Katniss relax. Always assuming the worst. 

“Madge.” The mayor’s daughter lifts her head and stands up immediately, seeing her friends walk up to her. 

“Katniss, I haven’t seen you in ages. Where have you been?” Ages were more like one week and Katniss suddenly feel guilty for not telling her friend that she has been working at the bakery. One week had gone quickly and she became really tired by the time she got home, but finally started to get into a pace that she became comfortable with. She had walked home with a loaf of bread every day that her family enjoyed very much and Katniss always wore a smile on her face. If she had time, she also went hunting some days and her mood only got brighter when she had extra coins in her pockets. 

She liked her new job and liked the company too. Even if she saw Peeta twenty percent of the day, which was when he often placed newly baked bread beside the counter or greeted her and other customers, it was always fun to talk to him. Peeta would whisper in her ear when an annoying customer came in (“This one hate smiles for some reason, so don’t smile. Look miserable just like herself.”) and Katniss would do anything in her power not to laugh loudly. Or he asked her if she felt better, reminding her that he was all ears regarding that day. It was a big comfort and Katniss always thanked him. She didn’t believe in thanking people. She believed in paying back, but Katniss wanted to make sure that he knew anyway. 

Not only that, each day made Katniss’ heart jump a little more in her chest when seeing the blond baker. It wasn’t like she was in love or something. More like nervous, for some weird reason. He always smiled with small mysterious eyes and let his hand linger when showing Katniss stuff, like her shoulder or waist. It made Katniss blush and she always cleared her dry throat desperately, as it would somehow calm her down. If he did it on purpose or not, she didn’t know. But when he dragged his hand away, it almost tickled afterward and the feeling would be there until she got home.

“I’ve been working, I forgot to tell you-” Madge immediately noticed the bread in her hand, recognizing the bags which was known to be light-yellow and white, and snatched Katniss’ wrist to look at it with wide eyes.

“You sure did! Don’t tell me you work for the handsome baker?” A big smirk played on her lips and Katniss felt herself turn red, freeing herself from Madge’s grip.

“Just for a few weeks, Madge. I asked and he said yes.”, Katniss stated, going with the same lie she had told Prim and her mother. 

“Well, how is he? Is he nice? Still hot up close? I barely know anything about that man.” Even if Madge could be a sugar bomb sometimes, she was also a good friend. Never questioning Katniss more than she’s comfortable with and that was important for her. Katniss didn’t talk much but so did Madge. About boys, the newest town gossip and what not. It made Katniss appreciate it somehow when she informs her yet entertain Katniss. Always working and trying to feed her family was hard and tiresome, so it was nice having someone to update her about stuff. Making Katniss feel much more human, if so. Plus, it was always nice to laugh sometimes. 

Before Katniss could answer her friend's question, a voice behind them popped up. 

“Who’s hot?” Both girls turn around and Katniss’ blood turns to ice when she sees Gale with his working clothes on, a layer of coal covering his face as he scratches his beard innocently, eyeing Madge immediately. “Hey, Madge. Whatcha’ doing here?”, he asks bored and Katniss translate his word to;  _ what are you, a damn Merchant blond townie doing here?  _

“Oh, I’m just visiting Katniss.”, Madge says, barely noticing his voice that showed only a tiny part of the hate he has against townies. Katniss almost applause at her friend when she looks back at her crush with not a hint of nervous or blush on her face. When standing like that, both her hands on her hips and a professional smile playing on her lips, she really looks like the mayor’s daughter.

But instead of admiring her friend, she remembers Gale and Katniss immediately feels herself turn red in anger. The last time she saw him was almost a week ago when he had left her in the forest and declared their friendship over. Katniss cried. A lot. It was what she had predicted. A week ago and further back, Katniss only and worst problem was this. A proposal she didn’t want and a fight she didn’t want. How Katniss despaired it so much, was so sure that her life would become devastating without her dearest friend. 

But then, she almost lost her life and it didn’t become so important anymore. 

If that night never had happened, Katniss was sure that she would’ve asked Gale to forgive her so they could go back to how things were before. But landing in Peeta’s backyard and paying back her debt made Katniss forget all about it. She was too busy to fix her problems. 

And now? Katniss was angry. Gale had cut their friendship because it didn’t go  _ his _ way, but what about her? Did he expect her to say yes despite having no feelings towards him and continue to live like that because  _ he _ wanted it? 

Katniss snorts annoyed, crossing her arms and glaring at him bothered.

“Do you want something, because we're about to leave.” Madge lifts both her eyebrows shocked, but she wasn’t surprised. Katniss didn’t explain the last part about their friendship being over but reading the situation, she was sure Madge knew. 

Gale looks away, his brown eyes ignoring the angry girl in front of him while swallowing audibly. He was nervous, embarrassed almost. It’s quiet for a time. Katniss angry, Madge uncomfortable and so was Gale. 

“Let’s go.”, Katniss says after a while, rolling her eyes while gripping Madge’s hand and dragging her towards her house. 

“Wait, Katniss! I-” Gale takes a step forward, his hand midway up like he’s reaching for her before turning quiet again, slowly putting his hand down and turning it into a fist. “I want to talk about this. Solve this.” Katniss doesn’t know what to say. Her hand still around Madge’s. Of course, Katniss want to solve this too. She wanted her friends back. Her hunting partner. She really thought that they would have each other back to the day they died, but his manly pride destroyed it. Destroyed her trust. Katniss wasn’t sure that they ever could go back to how it was before. 

But she was willing to try. 

“I want to talk about this too, Gale. But not today.” She goes towards her house again. “I’m tired.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm sorry for the late update and I'm sorry for this chapter. It's just a filler (do you call it that??) but it gets better soon. Patience, my friends c:<


	6. Chapter 6

 

“Dad told me he isn’t working anymore.”, Rye says after taking a sip of his tea, placing it on the kitchen table. “Why is that?” Peeta yawned, scratching his back head while glancing at his brother from the other side, leaning on his own chair carefree. The work was done for the day and before Peeta closed the store, Rye placed his foot between the door and gave Peeta a big goofy grin that made Peeta laugh. He really enjoys his brothers coming to visit. After all, it was nice with the company. 

“That man is getting old. He needs to rest, so I hired someone else.”, Peeta states. His brother lifts his eyebrow questioningly that screamed with one question. “I can afford it, Rye. Don’t worry. I pay her almost nothing, just a loaf of bread.” 

“Who the hell would want to work for  _ one _ piece of bread?”, Rye asks with a wrinkled nose. And he has a point. Katniss could work for others and get paid for at least  _ four _ pieces of bread instead of one. But no Merchants really has afforded to hire people, often letting their children work for them.

Peeta gives his brother a smile.

“Let’s just say that she owes me.” Rye stares at his brother confused before shrugging and sipping on his tea again. Peeta was sure that both his brother was used to his mysterious words and secrets. He’d been like that since he was a child due to the fact that he was afraid to get beaten. If a secret slipped out of Peeta, his brothers would always go to their mother and tell when they didn’t get what they wanted or if they fought with him. Unnecessary slaps that could’ve been prevented if he just had kept his mouth shut.

“Whatever. I hope she’s doing her job.” His brother says with a bit of worry in his voice.

“Don’t worry. Everything is fine.” Peeta is very pleased with Katniss’ job. She did everything he’d told her to do, even if the huntress forgot to smile now and then. But she was a fast learner and soon knew the regulars’ order by heart. It was funny how he heard customers rude questions and comments about a Seam working here, but the girl is too busy and stressed to acknowledge them. Katniss is a good kid and lets her work for almost nothing wasn’t really fair. But he knew how Seams were. They needed to pay back, too proud and stubborn. Not that it did Peeta any bad. More like good, actually. And it was always entertaining when seeing her blush. When he placed a hand on her or whispering stuff about customers in her ear. He found it rather cute. A young girl like her, who hunt and kill animals to sell, blush at an innocent touch. But she was a kid after all.

Rye suddenly ignores eye contact, swallowing nervously and playing with the rim of the cup by the tip of his finger. 

“Now that dad doesn’t work anymore, mother isn’t pleased.” Peeta freeze in place, waiting on his brother to continue. “Dad told her that you hired someone else, and she kept talking about how it would cost you money and that you would crawl back to them and ask for it. Like a  _ ‘dog’ _ .” Rye lets out a sigh and Peeta’s sure that there were some more curse words involved that his brother chose not to say. “But mother has a point, though. What will you do once this woman who works for you is done? Dad is getting old and you can’t afford to hire people.” 

“I don’t know, Rye.” Peeta places his hand over his face exhausted. Of course, he’s been thinking about this many time. He wasn’t married like most people should, which lead to no kids in the near future that could help him, and that was a problem. But he knows that he’ll solve it, he just needed some time from his mother. “I’ll figure something out, but it’s hard when mother keeps snatching the  _ fucking _ carpet under me every time I do something.” It’s quiet for a long time. “I just want this bakery, Rye. I just want  _ this _ . Why can’t she just let me have this one thing?” Rye doesn’t say anything, almost ashamed. Like it’s his fault that their mother hated Peeta the most. 

“You can, Peeta. You can but you have to work hard. Harder than me and Graham together.” Peeta looks at his brother again, who leaned forward excited and agitated. “Mother never keeps quiet about keeping the name ‘Mellark’ alive. You should start there.”

“What, you mean get a wife? Like I could just pick one up from the store?” Peeta groans annoyed as his brother sighs. “It’s not that easy, Rye.” He says his name like it’s a curse word. 

“I know, Peeta. I know but think about it! Mother always mentions it. Maybe if you got married, her worry would settle down a bit and she’d let the subject go.”  _ Their mother wouldn’t settle down. Not until someone else took over the bakery from Peeta.  _ Peeta never really had the chance to go out and meet people as his brothers did. While Peeta learned a new recipe from his father, Rye and Graham would be out and do God knows what. At the end of the day, when night came and it was time for sleep, Rye always bragged proudly to Graham how he fucked his girlfriend (now wife) at the back of her parent's store and Peeta would cover his face with his pillow and blush furiously while they laughed at him. Peeta never socialized in his youth, he was just in the bakery. Always the bakery. Working like a madman to show himself suitable to his mother. And at the end of the day, he would be without the bakery  _ and _ without a wife.

Peeta clenched his teeth hard, his hands turning into fists and he wants to hit something. Hit something hard until his knuckles bleed down his forearms like water and drown him until Peeta would scream in anger and helplessness. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair, so Peeta stands up and with all his force throw the cup of tea in his hand on the wall, his voice screaming in anger as pieces of glass fly in every direction. Rye lets out a shocked groan, covering his face with his arms while Peeta drags his hair in madness, roaring in anger.

“Peeta, what the  _ fuck _ !?”, Rye screams more shocked than angry, standing up in confusion as Peeta starts to laugh again. Rye looks at him with wide eyes filled with nothing but pity and shock for his brother that is on the verge of becoming mad. The kitchen is filled with nothing but Peeta’s odd callings for help. 

“I’ll fix this.”, Peeta says between laughter, glancing down at the broken pieces all over the floor. A fucked up urge in him wants to step on them.

He worked hard for this bakery, and he wouldn’t stop until he has it. Until his mother is suffering. 

He’ll do anything for it, and that includes getting a wife he didn’t need to love. 

 

 

* * *

 

It has been almost three weeks since the accident and almost 2 weeks since Katniss started to work at the bakery. Two days since she talked to Gale. 

She didn’t know if she was the one who needed to go to Gale and talk about solving this, or if it was Gale who needed to come to her. Katniss didn’t want to have that talk at all, exactly. She’d knew how awkward and tense it would be, but she still wanted her friend back. Her ally. But Katniss was still too busy with work, so she didn’t think so much about it anymore. 

But, when Katniss walked into work two days ago, tired yet excited to earn some bread, she noticed that Peeta was... Off. He seemed distracted, gone in thoughts and staring into space often. Yesterday, Peeta came out with a new load of freshly baked bread while she took orders from customers. One of them, a woman holding her sleeping child on her hips, told Katniss that she wanted a plain while the woman’s companion looked at the cakes placed under the disk with wide impressed eyes. 

“Lorra, look how beautiful these are!”, the blond lady said to the mother who agreed. Katniss turned to reach for a plain loaf when she realized Peeta still stood there, watching the beautiful lady who admired his cakes. Immediately, Katniss understood, but it didn’t add up. Instead of wide eyes and a blushing face, he looked at the woman with cold dark eyes. 

“Mr. Mellark, are you alright?” Katniss didn’t really want to ask, but he stood in the way. Peeta looked at Katniss before insisting that he was and he turned around. 

When Katniss arrived at the bakery, she saw Peeta immediately at the counter writing something on a paper, and even when standing by the door, she was sure his writing was as beautiful as the decoration on the cakes. 

“Katniss, your early.”, he says and gives her a fast smile before looking back again. It’s odd how comfortable she’s become with her boss, how much she enjoys the change of nature from the forest to the bakery, even if she loves the woods so much. Sure, the part where she had to take orders during the morning rush wasn’t that fun. But those small moments for example, where Peeta would chat with her for a bit before going back to the baking was the best. Katniss just loved that, when he leaned on the disk with crossed hands and talked about the bakery while Katniss sat on the chair waiting on customers, listening with passionate eyes as the smell of bread was filled around them.

“I’m only fifteen minutes early.”, she answers, reaching for the apron on the disk that Peeta has placed for her.

“Well, you know how it is on Sundays.” Katniss knew. Just one week ago she sat by the counter and waited for customers, but they barely came. Peeta explained to her that Sundays was like that and let her go home early. Katniss refused. “That’s why I’m closing today.” Peeta took the paper he was writing on and walked past Katniss who looked at the baker confused.

“What?”

“I have an order to make.”, he says, putting the paper on the door and Katniss manages to read backward ‘Closed’. “And you’re going to help me.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm sorry for the late update. I've been so busy and a lot has happened for the past few days. But here is a chapter for you guys. 
> 
> And be ready for the next update, because it will be trouble in paradise ;) 
> 
> Or the bakery... idk u understand right


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the last chapter was so short, I'll be nice and update a little earlier
> 
> enjoy ;)

 

As expected, when Peeta sketch the cake on a paper, it’s too beautiful to be true. Katniss watch his hand slide with the pen, dragging it almost magically and so easily over the paper that she for a second can’t believe he’s the one doing it. 

“It’s for a wedding, so it has to be white. But other than that, we’re free to decorate it however we want to.” Peeta glance at Katniss and she feels her cheeks turn red for some odd reason. “That’s the best part.”

“Mr. Mellark, I’m not good at this.”, Katniss protest, standing beside the baker with both her hands together awkwardly. 

“How do you know if you’d never tried?” As Peeta talks about the order, she sees how his eyes shine with such a force that makes Katniss’ legs almost shake. He leans over the paper eagerly and joyful and Katniss knew that his happiness was this. The bakery he works so hard for. To bake and to please his customers and it makes Katniss smile somehow. He really loves what he’s doing and Katniss wished that her happiness, being free in the forest with the bow, hadn’t been related with such a tragic event like starving and her father. Maybe, one day, her happiness would just be happiness and not a matter of life and death. 

“What about this,”, Peeta says, letting the tip of the pen rest on his lips. “You tell me how it’s going to look, and I’ll do it. Sounds good?” Katniss nods satisfied with a smile. 

“Yes.” Katniss wants flowers and Peeta does flowers. She explains the one she sees in the forest and he obeys by putting it on the cake, the pen sliding on the paper so smoothly. She wants primroses, katniss’ and whatever she can come up with and she wants them in every single color and Peeta never questions her. Never stopping her. He smiles as she pours out her wishes and he never raises an eyebrow or looks at her hesitating. 

Ever since the accident, Peeta was the only one she could talk to and she had no choice but to trust him. But now, weirdly, just by standing and helping him, it makes Katniss trust him more somehow. By her own commands. Minutes, maybe hours, go by before they’re done and Katniss admires the cake that isn’t even done yet with big sparkling eyes. 

“It’s so beautiful.” 

“It is. Now we have to do it too.” 

Katniss sits on the counter, both her legs hanging by the edge as Peeta does the batter besides her, telling Katniss how much flour and sugar you need to add. It’s not like Katniss going to remember, but she still listens carefully and watches how his ivory hands add the ingredients so easily. Maybe it’s the way he talks so cheerful that Katniss doesn’t want to stop listening. 

“Taste it.” Peeta gives her the spoon of the batter and even if the taste of raw egg and butter last in her mouth, it’s still such an amazing taste that Katniss yearns for more. 

“So good.” Katniss smiles and Peeta does too. 

Hours go and Katniss laugh as Peeta tells funny stories through the years he’s worked as they wait on the cake to bake. Katniss tells her own few that she remembers and tears run down their cheeks as they cover their stomach’s. When the cake is done, they let it cool down and they start with the colorful edible flowers while they laugh and goof around. Peeta does them so fast, yet careful, but Katniss fails hundreds of times. 

“How do you do it so good?”, Katniss pouts while Peeta stacks them on the cake. It’s basically done by now, only one left. The one that Katniss has been working on for fifteen minutes. 

“Many years of practice.” Peeta, done and bored, goes to her side. “Let me help you.” Katniss didn’t expect him to place his hands over hers, so laid back and safe with him, that she lets out a surprised yelp when he does. 

“You have to make the petals on the inner layer first, then you continue slowly to the other parts.” Katniss lets Peeta do everything with her hands because she can’t focus. Peeta talks right beside her ear, his breaths hitting her neck that makes every strand of hair raise on her skin. His body pressed against her own, the warmth between them exchanging like fire. And it does weird things to her body. Even if Peeta wasn’t as big as Gale, he was a grown man. Peeta was still tall, but he was also big and muscular yet lean.  _ Mature _ . Leaning over her so protecting and safe. Katniss was somehow comfortable and she didn’t like it. This… feeling, it was unknown to her. She didn’t like that. “There you have it!” He lets go of her hands and Katniss realizes that she holds a beautiful flower. Even if Peeta did it, Katniss can’t believe her hands actually did that. She turns around and places it on the empty spot on the cake. And it looks so complete. Exactly like the picture. Maybe even more beautiful. 

“It’s so beautiful!”, Katniss states for the second time today as they both admire it proudly. She can’t help but smile widely, her stomach bubbling with happiness that she hasn’t felt for years. “You did it Mr. Mellark!” 

“ _ We _ did it, Katniss. I couldn’t have come up with such an amazing decoration if it weren’t for you.” Katniss nods, not knowing what to say as Peeta lift the cake and covers it with plastic. “Tomorrow morning a girl named Eve will come and ask for the cake. It will be right here in the refrigerator.” 

“Okay.” Katniss debates if she should say anything or not as Peeta leans down and place it under the counter were a fridge hid. But she does anyway. “Mr. Mellark, I had so much fun today. Thank you.” Katniss really had much fun. She can’t remember the last time she was so happy. By just talking to Peeta and bake a cake she didn’t even get to taste. Katniss remembers when she asked Madge what she knew about the baker, but now  _ Katniss _ knew. He’s amazing. A nice, kind soul that loved his work and could even make Katniss laugh, who’s so up stuck and busy with trying to survive. Every worry about food and marriage proposals disappeared. Even if he’s an adult, he makes her feel like a youth.

Peeta stands up and gives Katniss such a warm smile that makes her almost melt. 

“I should be thanking you, Katniss. It gets pretty lonely here sometimes, so it’s nice with the company.” He leans closer to her, gripping her right hand with both his worried like adults do. Yet it makes Katniss dizzy, the smell of cinnamon and just,  _ Peeta, _ fills her nose and she’s sure that nothing has ever smelled so good. “Besides, I thought about what you told me the other day. You shouldn’t have nightmares and live in fear. A kid like you should be happy.”

Peeta keeps talking but Katniss can’t hear because, kid?  _ Kid? _ Did Katniss hear right? Does Peeta see her as a kid? Katniss swallows audibly, looking into the baker's blue deep eyes as his mouth keeps moving, but she doesn’t listen. 

Katniss felt for him. She didn’t know what it was, but it was something and even if it isn’t fair to Peeta (because he doesn’t know), Katniss still gets offended because he saw her as a kid. She’s sixteen. She’s allowed to marry. To have kids. And he  _ calls _ her a kid. 

Katniss knows she will regret this deeply the moment she steps out of this bakery. She will curse herself till the day she dies but Peeta’s eyes, his  _ amazing _ smell, and annoyance is an odd combination. 

Katniss place her left on their already intertwined hands and leans forward and everything happens so slowly. 

Peeta watches her come closer, raising herself with her toes and he becomes quiet when he realized that it isn’t a mistake. That she isn’t falling or jumping or whatever she’s doing and his eyes become wide when their foreheads suddenly meet and they’re both quiet. Silence filling the bakery that was only, a few hours ago, filled with laughter. Peeta looks at her shocked, breathing heavy against her lips that Katniss licks seductively as she gazes back at the baker with innocent eyes. She doesn’t dare to kiss him so she places her lips only a few inches away from his. Like a challenge.

“Mr. Mellark…”, she whispers, glancing down at his lips before looking up again. Peeta doesn’t dare to breathe. “I’m not a kid.” 

Then Katniss leans down and turns around, taking off the apron and places it on the counter before leaving the bakery. 

 

 

Like predicted, Katniss regrets everything the moment she closes the door to her bedroom and silence hit her.

“Katniss, where’s the bread?”, Prim asked when she saw her sister walk through the kitchen with fast steps. 

“No bread.”, Katniss said fast without looking up until she was inside her and Prim’s room. Katniss exhaled with a shaky breath, letting her back lean against the door as she closed her eyes. What is Katniss doing?

It was supposed to be a crush. Just a small crush on her boss that would end once she’s done with working. And now she took it too far. Now he knew. 

Katniss covers her face and she wants to scream. Peeta was a man. An adult. More than ten years older than her. She was just a small, unattractive sixteen years old who hasn’t even gone through her whole puberty and he was a whole  _ man _ . What if he had a girlfriend? What if he’ll tell someone? She was sure that Peeta wouldn’t do that, he was a nice person but it still bothered Katniss. 

She doesn’t know if she can face him tomorrow. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Holy shit.  _ Holy shit! _

Peeta can’t believe how stupid he is. He can’t believe that Katniss Everdeen actually did that. That she finds him attractive. Sure, she would blush now and then. He only assumed it was a small crush or something. But this? He didn’t know she had it in her.

Peeta wants to sit down. To think this through. All this time he saw the girl as just that.  _ A girl _ . She’s just sixteen, a kid who’s newly of age and she decides to do  _ that _ on him. A 28-year old baker…

He tries not to, but Peeta wants to laugh. He was so gone with thoughts these past two days ever since his brother visited him. 

_ “Maybe if you got married, her worry would settle down a bit and she’d let the subject go.” _ , Rye had told him, but where the hell do you find a wife? Beautiful women walked into the bakery daily and he watched them like hawks, trying to find a suitable one that he could seduce but he didn’t want to. Out of laziness? Maybe, but it felt wrong. Everything felt so fucking wrong and he hated his mother even more. Hated how Peeta had to bake bake  _ bake _ all this time to prove himself worthy and never be able to fall in love. And now he had to bullshit to a girl instead. Just because of his mother. But he can’t give up. Not now when he’s gone this far. So he tries to find one and he keeps looking at every lady that walk in and then;

_ “Mr. Mellark, I’m not a kid.”  _ Katniss was right in front of him. A girl that he didn’t have to seduce. Because she already was. 

She was right under his nose all this time and Peeta finds it funny. As he said, he never thought of her like that. She was just a kid that owed him and traded with his father now and then. And today, he completely forgot everything about his mother and that he’ll sooner or later lose the bakery. He had so much fun with the Huntress. Laughing and having company while he baked. So when she leaned forward, Peeta was so of guard. 

And now he didn’t need to worry anymore.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys I'm really nice, I will give u this chapter that I KNOW u will love and it's extra long too. Just for u guys c: 
> 
>  
> 
> as always, read the tags if u want, but there is no need. only if u want to.

 

Katniss has only been working for more than a week, but it isn’t enough. She has a few weeks more, at least. Yet, she doesn’t go to work. Too embarrassed. And Katniss would never let precious time go to waste, so she goes to the forest instead. It’s easier to breath in the woods, were coal-free air was flying around her and the smell of trees and bark took over instead. It made her more relaxed when she had the bow in her hand, aiming at some poor animal walking by.

Yet, as Katniss walked around the hob and traded the freshly caught rabbits, she felt a heavy stone in her stomach that just kept reminding her. Reminding her that she has a debt to pay, reminding her how stupid she is. Katniss regrets her action so much that she almost starts to cry. What if she went to the bakery and he wants to talk about it? Or  _ scold _ her like a parent? _ Ugh! _ Katniss feels her cheeks turn red as she cringes. Why is she so stupid?

The sun was settling down for the day, and instead of bread in her hand, she held a bony squirrel that she didn’t manage to sell. Katniss heart clench. Just because of her, her family had to survive on one little animal, just like before. If she had just  _ stopped _ yesterday she could’ve fed her family bread for a whole month. It’s not like they eat a whole loaf every night. The three of them eat half of the bread every day, eating the next piece in the mornings for breakfast. Katniss could already see Prim’s cheeks fill out from the awful winter, and their mother had been okay for the past few months. Katniss too couldn’t count her ribs anymore. She was the one who was supposed to help Peeta back, but it was the opposite. It maybe is like that when you’re a Merchant.

Walking through town, gone in thoughts, a sudden hand grip Katniss’ shoulder. Right on the wound were the bullet barely missed her and Katniss does everything in her power not to scream in pain. 

Because just glancing down at the hand, it was covered in white and she knew immediately what this was about. It felt like she’d vomit any second, her legs almost gave in with all the shaking and a wave of cold sweat hit her when she slowly turned to face the peacekeeper. It took everything in her power not to show any discomfort or pain when facing the masked man. She was sure that the wound had opened up, and by the way the peacekeeper just ‘randomly’ gripped her right shoulder, Katniss knew it was that man who chased her that night. And it made Katniss heart race so intense that it scared her. She had never been this afraid, Katniss realized. Sure, that night was terrifying, but this? The peacekeeper had caught her. He held her by her shoulder and almost waited on a reaction from her. Something to expose her.

“Yes?”, Katniss says, swallowing audibly as she could feel drops of sweat run down her back.  _ Please, please, please don’t notice! I don’t want to die, I don’t want my sister to starve, I want to live! I want to be alive- _

“Keep walking.”, the peacekeeper says and pushes her forward. Katniss takes a deep inhale, walking from him as fast as she can and when it’s safe enough, she starts to sob because  _ thank God  _ but it hurts so much, so  _ so _ much! Tears run down her cheeks and she ignores the Merchants disgusted face glancing at her and Katniss wants nothing but to get to the Seam. Home-

Katniss stops. She looks down at her shoulder, lifts her hand covering it and sees the blood cling to her shirt like glue. Thankfully, the one she wore was dark so the blood wasn’t as visible, but she couldn’t get home like this. Her mother and Prim would start to ask questions and she couldn’t deal with questions because she has to tell the whole story about her and Gale and the fight and the thought of talking about the proposal just made Katniss’ head spin. 

So she takes a deep breath and turns around.

 

 

“Katniss?” This a mistake, Katniss thought when she sees the bakers wide eyes examine her quickly, landing on her shoulder. The blood starting to dry on her skin. Katniss hates blood. It’s not like animals, her own was hard to wash away and it was sticky and annoying. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“I’m- I’m sorry,”, Katniss shakes her head, embarrassed as she looks down at her shoes, sobbing. “I.. I shouldn’t have come, you’re probably busy, I’m sorry.” What was she thinking? She already owed him and now she would even more. 

Not only that, Katniss, who didn’t dare to face him, actually did. She was standing right in front of the man she almost kissed, and even with wide blue eyes and an open mouth, he's still so beautiful. Just like the day they meet. It made her cheeks turn red. Katniss realized if it wasn't for her throbbing, bleeding shoulder, she would've never dared to do this. 

Pain makes you weak, after all. 

“No, don’t say you're sorry, Katniss! I just closed the bakery, I’m not busy, come in, let me help you.” Guilt grows in her body. 

“But I didn’t even work today-”

“Katniss, just come inside, we’ll talk about it later.” Peeta reaches his arm out, opening the door with his body. Katniss looks up at him, biting her lips before going up the three steps. 

 

“I made sure nobody saw me.”, Katniss says for some reason. She decided to take the back door, walking through the small spring between the bakery and the house next to it, just like that day. It would be easier for both of them if nobody saw.

Peeta leads her to the kitchen were she that morning enjoyed the cheese buns. He places her on the same chair and tells her he’ll be right back before leaving. A few minutes later, he comes back with supplies, placing it on the table before dragging out a chair, sitting right in front of her shoulder. 

“Katniss, I need to see the wound.” The huntress nod and slowly drag her shirt down her shoulder. It was big enough, so he could work through the head opening. Thank God, or Katniss would’ve taken off the whole thing. 

Peeta starts immediately. Slowly but surely, his ivory hands covered with old burn marks and cuts wipes the blood away and take off the old bandage that Katniss hadn’t changed for the past few days. She didn’t really dare to or her mother would have noticed. It was already enough painkillers missing. 

“What happened?” Katniss wince when she feels a sudden sting on the wound, but she doesn’t dare to look. It was hard enough that Peeta touched her skin, but she was in too much pain to notice anyway.

“A peacekeeper. His pride was probably hurt when he didn’t catch me that night, so he has his claws out.”

“Hm.”, Peeta mumbles with a low laugh. Busy and focused on working with her. “I heard some ladies talk about a perverted peacekeeper touching shoulders.” Katniss does everything in her power not to throw up, her face going pale as sheets when thinking about the peacekeeper looking for her. She had luck this time, but what about the next? The baker immediately notices her behavior. “The peacekeeper let you go, so he won’t be coming back for you. Don’t worry.” 

“I’ll-” Katniss wince loud again. “-try not to.”

“It was two weeks ago you got this, it should have healed by now…”, Peeta says worried, noticing the swollen skin around it. Katniss hadn’t treated it in a long time, choosing to ignore it by working and providing for her family instead. She never took off the bandage to let it breathe and she never washed it either. Surprisingly, it hasn’t become infected. Katniss was at least lucky in  _ that _ matter.

“It’s hard to treat it with a left hand.”, Katniss states, lifting her left arm to prove a point and Peeta furrows his eyebrows, eyes glancing up to hers confused.

“If I remember correctly, my father told me that both your mother and sister work as healers...” Katniss swallows, suddenly becoming quiet and when she doesn’t answer, he sits up. Letting his hand rest on his knee with both his eyebrows raised. Shocked, almost. Katniss swallows again and avoids his burning eyes on her. “You haven’t told them.”

“Because it isn’t important-” They both know it’s a lie, so Peeta interrupts.

“Why, Katniss? You almost died that night.”

“I know, but I didn’t want to…” Katniss sighs loudly, covering her eyes with her hand exhausted. She was so tired. “I didn’t want to worry them. I  _ can’t _ worry them. And it’s not like they  _ care _ anyway…” The burning starts behind her eyeballs and down her dry throat and Katniss curse herself because she doesn’t want to cry in front of Peeta and she can’t keep her mouth shut. 

But everything, the anxiety since yesterday, the peacekeeper's grip around her shoulder and the constant fear, made her emotional and weak. A sob escapes her throat and her body starts to shake. The whole thing embarrass Katniss even more, and only add up in the pile of shit she has gone through since that day. 

“Because all they care about is some marriage, but why? Aren’t they happy with what I do already? Why do they want more from me, why isn’t it enough?” Tears run down her cheeks and she is so tired of crying but she can’t stop herself. Peeta looks at her in silence, letting her weep and talk herself out. She covers her face with her hands and wail in them. 

“What does a man have that I don’t beside some extra coins? I’ve given them everything. My childhood, my youth, my school years. Why does marriage need to be theirs too?” Katniss throat hurts and she keeps crying and it feels so nice so she cries even more. “It’s not fair…” Katniss keeps sobbing into her hands. Crying for, what it feels like hours, until she finally calms down, sobbing in the air and wiping her tears with her hands, looking down at her feet in embarrassment and shame. She can feel Peeta’s hand on her shoulder, placed there sometime during her breakdown. 

“It’s not, Katniss… It’s really not fair. You’re working so hard. You must be tired.”

“I am, Mr. Mellark.”, Katniss says with a croaking voice, inhaling hard. “It's not like I don’t love my mother and sister, it’s just… I’m tired.” He hums in agreement. 

“The fight you had that day, with your friend…” Katniss nod. 

“Yes. He got mad when I rejected.” 

“Well, that’s not really fair either.” Once again, Katniss nod with a small smile on her face as Peeta keeps working in silence, much more careful than before. Maybe because Peeta wasn’t a Seam, he didn’t really understand the meaning with marriage like they do. That it isn’t about the actual ‘love’ thing, more like surviving on the behalf of men, but that nowadays, people keep that as a Seam tradition and for the actual pleasure of it. Even so, it felt so nice that someone actually agreed with her. It isn’t fair, and Peeta said so too. A small flower of happiness bloomed in Katniss as she wiped the almost dried tears with her fingertips. 

They don’t say anything until Peeta is finished with patching her wound up, making a knot with the tips of the bandage. 

“I’m sorry I called you a kid.”, Peeta suddenly whispers and Katniss immediately tense up, clenching her eyes hard as the color red covers her whole body. If she could run now, she would but Peeta isn’t done yet. “I realize now that you are a hard working woman, not a kid.”

“Mr. Mellark it’s fine, really. I’m s-sorry for, y’know, doing that, it wasn’t nice of me..” Katniss can’t look at him at all, so she turns her head away from him. Away from his beautiful blue, caring, lovely eyes and tries to ignore his soft, yet rough, big hands that keep touching her skin so innocent and professionally. The dry air in her mouth doesn’t help her think clearly at all, so she tries to calm her beating heart by holding it in for a few seconds. “I shouldn’t have-”

“Katniss…” His soft palm meets her cheek and Katniss can feel her heart almost stop. Her hands start to shake, silence filling the room containing only Peeta’s shaky breaths together with hers. He slowly turns her face with the help of his palm and Katniss doesn’t dare to breathe. “Look at me.” She does, slowly opening her eyes. And in front of her sits the most handsome man she’s ever seen. With golden hair, pink lips and passionate eyes that only wants one thing. And Katniss know what it is, so she closes her eyes once again and slowly leans forward, wetting her lips with her tongue as she does.

And their lips meet. 

She doesn’t really know what to do, besides trying to calm down the butterflies that want to escape her stomach, so she lets Peeta handle it. And she’s forever grateful because he slowly massages her lips with his own, so innocent and sweet like cinnamon and Katniss can’t help but let a shaky breath escape. That seems to boost Peeta because soon he leans out for a second only to dive in, and slowly lets the tip of his tongue touch her overlip. Katniss lets out a high pitched moan, the feeling so terrifyingly good that she’s too embarrassed to continue. She leans out, their foreheads still resting against each other as they breathe heavy. Katniss doesn’t dare to open her eyes. 

“Peeta…”, she whispers, forgetting all about formality.

“Open your mouth, sweetheart.”, he orders against her lips before leaning in again, capturing her as she obeys. Slowly parting her lips and letting him in. It feels good and Katniss can’t help letting out several noises she didn’t think she was capable of doing. Before she knows it, she places her hands around Peeta’s neck, craving for closeness and she can’t help but play with his blond locks as their lips dance against each other. 

Is this really happening, Katniss though as Peeta’s hand cups her cheek softly. Is Peeta Mellark really kissing her? 

She doesn’t know how long they continue. It could’ve been minutes, hours, too distracted to notice. Because his tongue keeps making weird stuff to Katniss, almost vexed by the feeling as hundreds of thoughts dance in her head.  _ What is she doing? This feels so good. Is she doing it right? What is Peeta thinking? _ Yet her whole body tingle and weird noises manage to escape her nose throughout every question. It’s deep and slow like they got the whole day in front of them. So romantic and beautiful. 

By the time Katniss takes a deep breath, leaning out for air and looking up at the baker, both their lips are swollen and red. The same scarlet color as her whole body is. But Peeta looks calm and composed except for his heavy breathing that matched her own and barely tinted cheeks. 

“Katniss…”, Peeta manages to say, letting their forehead rest against each other. His eyes closed as they both inhale the puffy air around them. Katniss can’t release her glaze from his perfect face. He has a stub growing out and she finds it so nice. “This is wrong…”

“No.”, Katniss whispers. 

“I’m your boss. You’re young.  _ God... _ So so young...” 

“Stop.”, Katniss says, placing her hand over his that still hasn’t left her cheek. “I’m of age, Mr. Mellark. Don’t worry about that.” He opens his eyes and he looks truly disturbed by the thought. Almost disgusted and Katniss feels a tight lump create in her throat. Hard and painful and she’s sure that not any amount of water can wash it down. Peeta sits back on the chair, letting her go as he covers his face with his hand, a shaky sigh escaping.

“No, no. Wrong.”, he whispers to himself, fighting a battle in his head that makes Katniss straighten up in anger. This isn’t fair. 

“Mr. Mellark, you said it yourself. I’m not a kid!” 

“Katniss, I’m 28 years old.”, Peeta states. Katniss immediately shuts up, her eyes turning wide in shock by the fact as he keeps groaning in confusion, messaging his scalp. Katniss didn’t really know Peeta’s age. He always looked much younger than he was and Katniss never thought this whole thing would happen anyways. She thought that her boss would just be some kind of ‘eye candy’ and nothing more. But she didn’t realize that this would happen, and he is old. She just turned sixteen, he’s 28. 12 years older.  _ Damn. _ It wasn’t hard to do the math, it was the fact that they were in this position. 

But what did it matter anyway? Age is just a number. What mattered the most is that Peeta makes her feel safe and happy. His presence made her feel alive, how else could she explain the weird buzzing in her body whenever she saw him in the mornings when greeting her. He makes her feel heard, he takes her hard work seriously and always understands. He makes her feel like a teenager, the one she’s supposed to be right now. And that matters the most. It does.

“Mr. Mellark. It’s not a problem. Not for me anyways.”, Katniss says, both her hands in her lap. Trying to calm the shaking so he won't notice. “I… really like you. You make me happy.” He looks up at her, blue meeting gray, and the Huntress wants to faint because he’s actually blushing and it’s beautiful and  _ God is she actually starting to fall for him? _

“Katniss, I… I want to be with you. But you’re too young. What will your family think of this, what will people-” 

“They don’t need to know.”, Katniss interrupts, her face determined and serious. “I won't tell a soul.” 

“You’re going to lie to your mother?”

“Yes. I am.” Her mind is set and she sees that Peeta realizes that nothing could change it. She had both her arms crossed, her head high and eyes that showed not a single drop of regret. Peeta swallows audibly, letting his hand through his blond locks as he thinks for himself. Katniss waits. Waits for an answer that could break her heart, or do the opposite.

“Just…” Katniss leans forward, clenching her pants with her hands as her eyes look up at him.  _ Please, please, please, please. _ “Go home, sleep and think about it. Whatever your answer is, I’ll command.” 

Katniss doesn’t need sleep, because she will walk into the bakery tomorrow and kiss him as an answer. The huntress smiles, hiding her face with one hand as she nods.

She's suddenly doesn't regret what she did yesterday. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YASSSS finally, 8 chapters later. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter! 
> 
>  
> 
> And I completely forgot to say this before, but if you like these kinds of stories, like this one (dark themed and a bit awful lol wait for it guys, its a slow burn after all) you should read my very loooong one-shot called Panic. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading today's chapter, and if you have time, check out Panic too c: 
> 
>  
> 
> ~ Lenkia


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

 

There were three things lingering in Peeta’s head. Three thoughts that were set on replay all night. 

First was his mother’s voice. How she cursed him in front of the family while everyone at the table watched like it was some drama instead of abuse. What was it again she said?  _ You’re a disgrace, Peeta.  _ Yeah, something like that. Peeta would sometimes lay in bed resting or just cooking food when he heard his mother’s voice pop up unexpectedly, and his body would freeze in pure terror. He usually dealt with it when taking a smoke. 

The second thought was Rye’s word. Get married. _Get married._ _Hurry up before mother sells your bakery!_ If he didn’t think about Rye’s shaken words at least once a minute, he was probably sleeping because his voice in his head wouldn’t shut up for a second.

Especially with what happened yesterday…

That takes him to the last thought. The fact that Peeta was a  _ fucking _ pervert. He really made out with Katniss Everdeen. The same seven-year-old girl that he gave the bread too when he was 19 years old and still under his mother's abuse. 

It was nice of course, her lips were soft and she was inexperienced and it made his dick hard to think that he was the first to ever touch and feel her that way. The way she squirmed under him, the way she opened her little mouth for him, moaning and automatically clenching her knees together. Damn, it wasn’t even nice, it was fucking  _ amazing _ . Peeta knew he was handsome. He always heard ladies whisper by the counter about his muscles, hair, eyes and whatever it was. But damn it did something to his ego when a teenager found him attractive. A young girl like Katniss rather has an old man like him than some fucking douchebag in her age, as a normal girl would do. 

But Katniss was mature for her age, that was for sure. She had grown up the moment her father died. She was working hard and didn’t have a pleasant life either with a marriage proposal that put pressure on her. But even if she is mature, her age still remained. He realized that when they leaned out for air. When he glanced at his big, rough hand caressing her soft, tan cheeks. His hand looked too old against her skin and that’s when it hit him. 

_ She is sixteen. Your 28. What the fuck are you doing?  _

It wasn’t like he cared, really. He liked Katniss and he would kiss her again if he could. It was what others would think. What the norms said. It was normal to marry her age in the Seam, but with a 28-year old man? He wasn’t sure. But she promised she wouldn’t tell anybody and it was enough for him. Just made sure she didn’t feel pressured. Girls her age are sensitive. He did have a heart after all! 

And that thought took him back to first and second. Marriage. Katniss. That was the plan, wasn’t it? To marry, get the bakery, and it's even a pro to fuck with his mother a little when marrying a Seam too. Holy shit, that would be amazing… But the huntress wasn’t interested in marriage. Katniss cried in his arms when talking about the marriage proposal that weighed her down as Peeta felt his eye twitch in frustration. 

Oh well, it wouldn’t be too big of a problem. Peeta had his ways to change opinions in people. And he was really good at it too. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Katniss?” 

The huntress looked out into space, her hand holding the fork while chewing on her meat slowly as she kept thinking. Thinking about his lips, soft and luscious. His tongue that tasted her and eyes that had a small hint of hunger. Hunger for her. It made Katniss feel stuff inside her that she never felt before and she somehow liked it. Just like that time Peeta had leaned into her body and showed her how to make a flower. At that time, she felt uncomfortable and almost a bit scared. It wasn’t him, but it was those feelings that made her uneasy. The thought of safeness, and relief. Like she didn’t have to fight this so-called life, anymore. She hasn’t felt like that since… her father-

“Katniss?” Prim's little head popped up in her view with a raised eyebrow and Katniss shakes her head in shock before meeting her sister's eyes. 

“Yeah?” 

“What’s wrong with you? I’ve called your name like five times.”

“Are you getting sick? Your face is all red, and you look tired…”, their mother added, standing up to take her dirty plate to the sink.

“No, no. I’m sorry. “, Katniss stutters, feeling her face burn even more. “I was just gone in thoughts-”

“Why didn’t we have any bread today?”, Prim asks suspiciously. “Have you stopped working at the bakery?” Katniss can’t remember when Prim got so curious. Or just hungry. She has definitely grown bigger since winter and Prim actually looks healthy and beautiful with full rosy cheeks and meat on her thighs. Katniss wants to make sure she stays like that all her life.

“No- no I don’t think so, at least. I’m still working.”, Katniss rambles, suddenly remembering that only eight hours ago she has tasted her boss, the faint taste of cigarettes and cinnamon still lingering on her lips.  _ Is it getting hot in here? _

“Aren’t you tired, Katniss?”, her mother suddenly asks and Katniss lifts her head to Mrs. Everdeen with a surprised face. Shocked even. Her mother can’t even look into her eyes, a layer of guilt on her face. 

“What?” 

“You don’t even go to school anymore. You always work and provide for us.”

“And?”, Katniss asks offended. Knowing where this conversation will lead to. Already boiling with anger. Prims shifts into her chair uncomfortably, her eyes never leaving her plate. “It suddenly turns into a problem now, when I’ve turned sixteen?” 

“Not a problem, a solution.” Her mother finally stares back at her daughter and it makes Katniss uneasy. “You’re finally sixteen. You can rest-” 

“ _ Rest _ ?” The Huntress can’t listen to this anymore. The reasonable voice in her tries to calm her down. Her mother has been raised thinking this was right and she just wants Katniss to have a nice life too with a husband, instead of her, providing for her family. But she doesn’t understand Katniss. Katniss doesn’t want marriage or kids. She is already tired feeding three mouths. Imagine more than that, because there was no way in hell a miner could provide  _ enough. _ How could her mother be so blind? “I have to pop out children after, at least a year, and feed them too, so where the  _ hell _ is my rest after that-”

“Katniss!”, Prim interrupts angrily with a tone that warned her to be careful with her words. Because one wrong sentence and her mother would go straight to bed and maybe never come out again. So Katniss takes a deep breath with closed eyes as their mother pleaded. 

“Please, Katniss. Think about it, at least for me. I want you to feel free, not locked up here with us.” Katniss’ heart almost breaks into two pieces hearing her mother's guilty voice and regret fills her body. She shouldn't have screamed like that. Mrs. Everdeen just wanted the best for her daughter and even if Katniss disagree with her, Katniss still nods. 

“I promise I’ll think about it.” 

 

 

The next morning Katniss was so tired. Of course, she was, she hadn’t slept a minute. All she could think about is Peeta. Peeta Mellark. The beautiful baker. So beautiful and handsome and  _ ughh _ her stomach rolls and a puls sends to her most private parts when thinking about the kiss because it was so amazing. Not even her mother's request bothered her mood. She rolled on her bed and clenched her eyes, a big smile playing on her lips as she covered her face with her hands. Katniss never thought in her life that a crush would turn into  _ this _ . And she was so excited to show up to the bakery and tell him that she has thought this through and that she could keep this a secret from everyone she knew. That she was willing to lie for him. 

When did Katniss become like this?

When Katniss woke up, she wanted to sleep more. Her whole body was heavy and every cell in her wanted her to close her eyes again. Then her thoughts from the night continued and as if someone filled her with adrenaline, her eyes became wide and she sat up immediately. Not a single trace of sleepiness left. 

Katniss walked to the bakery like she had done almost every day in three weeks, only this time her thoughts weren’t filled with bread. She was excited to meet Peeta and her hands started to shake when she finally saw the building. 

“Katniss.” The Huntress stops and looks at her left. She didn’t expect to see him and she lifts both her eyebrows in surprise.

“Gale.” The hunter walks towards her with a small smile, scratching his neck like he did when he was nervous. It makes Katniss heart break a little when thinking about their friendship turning into this. Weird and awkward. They were best friends. Now they don’t even see each other anymore. “What are you doing here?”

“Y’know, just trading around. Was just at the bakery. You work there, right?” 

“Y-yeah.”, Katniss stammers, putting a sling of hair behind her ear. It felt weird to think that Peeta and Gale met without knowing their status to the other. “I do. Mother told me she gave some bread to Hazel.” 

“Yeah, it was good. You baked it?” Katniss looks into his eyes to see if he’s serious, but he gives her a big grin that infects Katniss. They both laugh at Gale’s lame joke. 

“No, of course not. I would’ve burned the whole district down if I tried.”, Katniss says after. Gale nods agreeing, making them laugh some more. 

“Well, I better get going. Give the brats at home some breakfast.” Gale lifts the iconic white-beige bakery bag. “The baker gave me a lot for some rabbits. He’s in a good mood. Probably because of his girlfriend. She was there.” Katniss stills, her smile disappearing as fast as it came and she stops to breathe.  _ Did she hear right?  _

“What?”, Katniss almost whispers. 

“His girlfriend was there. Y’know, the blond one.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short, but tense chapter! 
> 
> I just want to thank everyone for their nice comments, it warms my heart when I receive them! Love you guys so much <33
> 
> ~Lenkia


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning Y'all once again, READ THE TAGS if you're sensitive

 

“Mr. Mellark?”, Katniss almost screams when opening the door to the bakery, with wide eyes and heavy breathing as Peeta looked at her with shocked eyes, not understanding her alarmed state. He held a cup in his hand, probably tea, but puts it down in confusion. 

“Katniss, is everything alright?”, he asks worried but Katniss doesn’t listen. Her eyes wander to the woman leaning against the counter, with her own cup in her hands. A blond, curvy lady with a body belonging to a woman and not a  _ kid _ . With eyes ice blue and skin pale as a doll, like snow even. Her head is leaned a bit on the side, looking at Katniss with a soft, confused face and Katniss already notice that the women don’t look down at her like any normal merchant does. Even if the lady just _stood there,_ kindness seemed to pour out of every pore from her.  _ Great _ , she is beautiful and seems kind too. 

For a second, Katniss accepts that she has lost Peeta to the beautiful woman in front of her. Katniss doesn’t even feel sad. How could she, when she looked like  _ this _ compared to a beauty like her? 

But the thought disappears as fast as it came. Anger and adrenaline flowing in her body again when thinking about Gale’s words. Even if she had, so-called “lost” to this woman, it wasn’t the ladies fault. It was Peeta’s, because how could he have kissed her and comforted her while being in a relationship? How could he possibly-

“Katniss, this is Delly.”, Peeta finally says with a soft voice after quiet seconds, noticing the tension in the air and Katniss rude glaring. “My childhood friend.”

Like a ball, the air seemed to leak out of her head with a sound, making her feel so painfully stupid. Katniss face turn into a deep shade of red, eyes wide in shock as Delly wave to her with a genuine smile. 

“Nice to meet you! Peeta told me someone’s working for him now.” 

“Y-yes.”, Katniss manages to say, trying to calm herself down while fidgeting in her place. “Nice to meet you too.” 

 

 

* * *

 

Peeta can’t remember when he met Delly, because she never came into his life. She had always been there. 

When Peeta and Delly were 6, they played while their parents had dinner together. Rye usually played with them too, even though he complained that they were playing like babies. Peeta can’t remember so well, but he does remember that he was happy then. He had looked into her eyes while she told him that a cat had attacked her when gripping its tail, and the three of them had laughed loudly until Delly’s mother told them to keep their voice down. Thinking back at it now, Peeta thinks that it’s one of the few happy memories he has. 

When Peeta and Delly were 12, they cried together. A lot. Peeta often walked alone around the Merchant part of the district, always after a beating from his mother. He held his tears, trying to control his breathing all while his eye throbbed and his throat was dry and painful. What was it he had done again? Ah, that’s right. Feeding some birds with bread. Only a few crumbs before his mother had snatched his hair from behind and the rest is history. Either way, Peeta walked around but he always stood in front of Delly in the end, who sobbed on the doorstep outside her house with a fresh bruise on her cheek. She glanced up at him, wiping her tears while avoiding eye contact. 

“What did you do?”, she had asked with a raspy voice, placing her head against her knees. 

“Feed birds.” Peeta sat down next to her, leaning against the wall as a cold wind hit them both, their blond hair flowing into their face. “You?” 

“Dad saw me with a Seam in my class. I kissed him on the cheek.” Delly placed a sling of hair behind her ear that had escaped, inhaling deeply. “He was so angry.” 

“Can imagine.” Delly’s father is a real jerk. It’s quiet for a long time. 

“Peeta, if I turn into my parents, what do I do?” Delly whispered, fear lurking in her voice. Peeta thought it was weird that Delly already thought of kids when she didn’t even had one but didn’t dare to say it. 

“Then I shake you really hard until you wake up again.” Delly glanced at Peeta with a small smile. 

“Promise, Peeta? You’ll do that?” 

“Only if you do it to me too,” Delly smirks, her perfectly white teeth appearing. 

“Deal.” 

When Peeta and Delly were 17, they used to do _stuff_. Not really fucking, but they did stuff. Often. They were both horny and tired of working for their parents so they found comfort in fooling around behind their houses. They never kissed, they never had  _ sex _ . Only blowjobs and stuff. It started when they were 17, sitting on the doorsteps to Delly’s, smoking a cigarette they shared as she cried loud and ugly. 

“They are so fucking unfair.”, she sobbed, wiping her tears as new only poured out. Peeta inhaled the smoke, glancing at his friend. She’s usually beautiful but she really had an ugly crying face. And the bruise around her eye wasn’t really doing things better. Delly came home late that night, she told him. Her father wasn’t happy.  “They set up this arrangement almost 7 years ago, how can I just marry a person I don’t even know?” 

“Doesn’t he work in the justice building?”, Peeta asked, giving the stick to his friend who took it with a shaking hand.

“Yeah, 20 and working in the justice building.  _ Already _ . That isn’t natural, Peeta. He must be some nutjob.” 

“Bet he is.” Delly sobs at last before letting in a shaky inhale. 

Maybe Peeta did, but Delly didn’t deserve this. Any of this. She didn’t deserve a shitty mother and an even shitter father that hit her and married her to the best first offeror they could find. She was a pure, kind person with a beautiful soul who never hurt a fly in her life. She was often positive in school, happy and encouraging who everyone admired. But Peeta always knew. He always knew. He didn’t forget all those times they sat where they sat now and cried. He hated it. Hated every second of his life then. 

Sure, Peeta could take it. But not Delly. She didn’t deserve any of this and he hated that they both were so defenseless. 

“Maybe father is right. Maybe I need it.” She blows out the smoke of silver before throwing it on the ground. “Marriage.”

“Why the sudden change?” 

“‘Cause maybe there is some good in it. I could do so much candy in the world without worrying about money. He’s rich, right? Plus, I want to do it.” 

“Do it?” 

“You know,  _ do  _ it. Everyone at school talks about it. How amazing it is. I want to know.” Peeta lifts one eyebrow, letting a small smirk escape while glancing at Delly. She looked at him, her face turning a deep shade of red. 

“What? I’m curious.” It’s quiet for a long time until Peeta whispered;

“Me too…” Delly gazed back to her friend, her cheeks pink and lips wet. 

He touched her boobs and made her come with his fingers that night. She gave him his first blowjob. It continued like that for three years. 

When Peeta and Delly was 20, they never touched each other again because;

“I’m marrying him.” Peeta stopped kneading the dough, looking up to his friend with small eyes. Delly leaned against the table, both her arms crossed. She didn’t look angry or sad. Nothing. She looked nothing. “So we have to stop.”

“What? Nutjob?”, Peeta asked, chuckling with no humor. Wiping his floury hands on his apron. “You’re marrying Nutjob?”

“His name is Keveen, Peeta.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “It’s… “ Peeta felt anger fill him. Like an overflowed glass of water, it ran out of him. 

“It’s  _ what _ ? I thought that you hated him? I thought you refused? How can you let your father win?”

“It isn’t about winning Peeta!”, Delly burst out, stomping her feet to the ground. Her eyes were already watery. “It’s about expectations. Everyone keeps waiting on me to accept but I’m still-” 

“You can’t marry him because they pressure you too, Delly!”

“I have no choice-” 

“Yes, you do! Why the fuck do you even care what they think-” 

“Because they are my parents!” It turned quiet. Not a single sound was heard except for their heavy breathing and Delly’s tears dripping to the floor. She sobbed, her face red in anger and eyes clenched as hard as her fists. “I know how weird it is, but they are my parents! They raised me and took care of me and I have to give back to them. It’s a marriage I don’t want but I do it for them.” Peeta exhaled fire, his eyes turning red and all he could think about is the time they cried together. Cried because of their parents. Cried and suffered and cried and everything for...  _ this _ . 

“Delly.”, Peeta whispered, the anger dangerously explosive in his voice. His childhood friend keeps sobbing. “You're fucked in the head.” Delly lets out a peal of high pitched laughter, eye turning wide and a wicked smile creeping on her lips.

“ _ Me _ ? I’m  _ fucked _ ?” Delly laughed again, tears pouring out of her eyes as she screamed. “You are so  _ fucking  _ obsessed to see your parents suffer the way we did like it does a difference! You hate them so much that the only thing taking your energy is to ‘win’ against them but it doesn’t matter, because we’ve already lost! Don’t you fucking get that?! We lost the moment we came to this world because they made us and they are the ones to decide when we lose too. So just give up! Just fucking give up, we have already lost.” Delly bends down to take her bag, placing it over her shoulder as she keeps sobbing. “All we can do now is to the best not turning into our parents.” Then she left. 

Peeta had destroyed everything in his way that day. He doesn’t remember much, only that he saw red and the next thing he knew, everything in the house turned into small broken pieces. His mother gave him a good round with the baking pin when she got back home again. Peeta broke a rib. 

Delly is kind. Kindness makes you stupid. 

When Peeta and Delly were 21, they spoke for the first time since the fight. Seven months later. 

“I’m pregnant. Three months now.” She had told him, sipping on her teacup. 

“Oh.” 

“ _ Oh _ ?”

“Congratulations.” His friend put down her cup, looking almost bothered with herself as she cleared her throat. 

“Peeta, I’m sorry for what I said to you. It wasn’t nice of me but not of you either.”

“I know, I’m sorry too. I just… don’t want you to suffer more than you do.”

“I don’t. Keveen is nice.” Delly smiled. “Who knows, maybe I’ll fall in love with him someday.” 

Peeta smiled. He hoped so too. All he wants for Delly is happiness. She deserved it for so long and finally, just  _ finally, _ she looked pleased. Newly moved into a nice house, married a nice husband and has a nice, quiet life. No fighting, no beating. Just peace. 

“But, I’m worried about you Peeta.”, Delly whispered leaning closer to him. “When are your parents moving out? Aren’t you supposed to take over the bakery?” He was. Both Rye and Graham had moved out now, working for their in-laws and everyone expected him to take over. It was only natural. Peeta still worked here, still baked and still took orders. His father already looked at him with proud eyes and the hard grip on Peeta’s shoulder told that he was finally ready to take over the business. Just like his whole life of purpose was made for. But of course… 

“I will. Soon. Just have to convince mother. I’m sure she’ll come around.”

And here he was, 28 and still didn’t owe the bakery. 

How  _ fucking  _ pathetic…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story Delly! 
> 
> What do we guys think of her? Leave a comment, I'm curious to know what you feel about her c:
> 
> ~Lenkia


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! Enjoy <33

“I have two children, Keely and Kara, they are 7 and 4.” Katniss took the picture from Delly’s hand, admiring her equally pretty children as the blond woman kept talking. “They have my nose, but their eyes are definitely their fathers. Here, a picture of Keveen. My husband. Look, aren’t they similar?” Katniss took the second picture, comparing the children with Delly’s husband as she nodded happily, not having time to even question why she has so many pictures on her, to begin with. 

“They’re very pretty, Delly.”, Katniss says, still not used to use the first name with her, but Delly insisted. “They look more like you than your husband, though.” Delly lights up. 

“Right?! I keep telling Keveen but he insists-”

“Delly, would you please  _ not _ withhold my only help in this bakery?”, Peeta suddenly screams from the door, both the girls starting to laugh at his desperate voice. Peeta was stressed and Katniss could hear customers all the way from the kitchen, screaming their orders to Peeta who baked in the backroom. She should’ve felt guilty for not helping, but Delly forced her to drink some tea and to chat. It was rude not to work, but even more rude to decline. Especially after the weird staring contest she had with her this morning.

“I should get going. Mr. Mellark needs my help.” Katniss stood up.

“Oh, you’re right. I’m sorry, it’s hard to keep my mouth shut, especially when it’s about my girls, they are just so-”

“ _ Delly _ !”, Peeta screams once again and Katniss laugh when she cringes. 

“Sorry! Okay, I’m leaving now, but you and I should definitely hang out more often!” Delly gives Katniss a hug after she agrees, leaving the huntress alone in Peeta’s old kitchen. 

It really is easy for Merchants, Katniss thinks, still smelling the perfume that Delly wore. Sweet and rosy. Delly probably got married, had kids and everything whenever she felt ready and not right after her 16th birthday. No pressure at all. And look at her now, so in love with both her children and husband. When would the Seams learn? 

Katniss shakes her head and heads for the counter. 

 

 

The rest of the morning goes by fast. After Delly left, Katniss had been taking orders one after the other, accepting the painful screams that filled her ears when writing down peoples request. Her head throbs like it has done every day for three weeks since she started working here, but she never seems to get used to it. Children wail, the elderly complain and the younger is a mix of both. But Katniss doesn’t complain. 

She doesn’t, because every time she walks out of the bakery with a loaf of bread and proud of her accomplishment. She worked hard and she deserved it. 

But today it isn’t bread she yearns for. No, it’s the exact same thing that had her up all morning and night that drives her to work hard today. How many times she had played it in her head. When she'll look him in the eye and say  _ I want to be with you. _ Or is that too cheesy? Maybe she should be laid back, but no that would be awkward what the  hell _ why is this so difficult? _

But right now, there is a line in front of her, waiting for their bread, an argument in Katniss head and Peeta who keeps placing bread under the glass by the counter, but never looking at her once before going back to bake some more. And damn it’s an annoying combination because Katniss wants at least a look from him, like a sign that tells her that he still wants  _ this _ and that he isn’t angry. Maybe he is angry at her? For glaring at Delly and later talking to her all casual instead of helping him-

“Hello, two loaves please!”, a young man suddenly ask with anger and defense in his voice, making Katniss wake up again. 

“Y-yes, sorry.”, Katniss stutters in shame, her cheeks turning red as she leans down to prepare a plastic bag. 

One hour later goes by fast and it’s eleven-thirty, Katniss is done for the day. It’s lunchtime soon, so the bakery is empty for now. If it was a normal day, Peeta would’ve come up to her, let her choose the bread she wants, place it in a plastic bag and thank her for her hard work before she left. But instead, Katniss plays with her fingers and listens carefully at Peeta’s movements in the backroom. Waiting on something to happen. Waiting for him to come up to her and say  _ something _ . 

Katniss suddenly feels childish, sitting here and waiting. It reminds her of when mother forced her to shower, so Katniss just sat there on her bed and waited for her mother's second attempt to force her. And it doesn’t make things much better when Peeta kept reminding her yesterday that she’s  _ just sixteen _ and  _ so young _ . She’s not a kid, so Katniss shakes her head and stands up to go to the backroom- 

Katniss collide with something soft, and both she and the baker let out a surprised sound. The huntress glance up and feels blood fill her face when blue wide eyes look down at her and the fact that the ‘something soft’ was his chest, so warm and solid under her palms, makes her dizzy. Nervous and high and it bothers Katniss because how can he do that to her? How can he vex her so much with just his eyes and touch?

“Mr. Mellark…”, Katniss manages to say with a weak, apologetic voice. Yet, she doesn’t move from her place and neither does Peeta, a smile growing on his lips that makes Katniss heart stop.

“Katniss…” Every word she was about to say, what she had planned the whole night, left her head from her ear like air. The little confident she even had followed with it and she was standing there vexed. Looking up at him like he was to sun she worshiped, the air she breathed, the man she wanted. 

Peeta lets his hands cover her own that rested on his chest, leaning down slowly so their foreheads rested on each other and she could see how his eyes glanced at her wet lips hungrily. The baker swallowed before opening his mouth. 

“Have you been thinking?” He doesn’t move his eyes from her lips, as she lets her tongue wet them again. She nods. 

“Yes.” He hums playfully and as Katniss thinks Peeta is about to kiss her, he takes a step back, taking her with him. It’s then she realizes that they stood on the threshold and that if anyone walked in they would notice them right away. 

Before Katniss could think, Peeta closes the door and press her body against it with his own and does the same with his lips. 

Katniss lets out a moan, a mix of surprise and excitement from Peeta’s eager and hungry lips that makes her feel wanted, a shiver running down her spine. Every worry she had since yesterday died when she was with him. The thoughts that ate her this morning long gone. 

He wasn’t angry at her, this whole thing wasn’t one-sided. He  _ wanted  _ her, his lips said it all.

“Mr. Mellark.”, Katniss whisper with closed eyes as his hand land on her waist and the other behind her head, a shield from the hard surface of the door.

He captures her once again and Katniss kiss him back with as much eager as him. Remembering the last time, she opens her mouth and lets out sounds as weak and fragile as she felt when his tongue caress her own. Several shivers run down her body and all the way down to her private parts, and it makes Katniss more unsteady than she already is.

“Then what’s your answer?” Katniss lets out a giggle against Peeta’s smiling lips, a sound she has never heard before. A sound filled with happiness. 

She really felt happiness. She always does with Peeta. It’s odd and amazing and her stomach keeps reminding her with jolts. 

“I think you know what my answer is.”, Katniss whispers, before leaning in to kiss him again.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm so damn sorry for the late update. School has been crazy and the only thing I do is fkn study all the time ;(
> 
> But here is an update, enjoy~

The next day, Peeta asks Katniss to stay for lunch. 

“I usually close at 12 then open again after one hour. I always manage to cook something fast to eat.”, he says as Katniss puts on her apron. She just arrived and her heart is already pounding, cheeks pink and body hot. She finds it so unfair that he looks so composed and put together, leaning against the counter with crossed arms while she looks like she's ten seconds from exploding. She ties the band around her waist, trying to ignore his arm muscles that just looks  _ so good _ when crossed like that.

“I’d love to.”, she manages to say, proud that her voice comes out strong, a smile popping up too. She needs to calm down.  _ It’s just lunch _ . “I can work the last half hour too.” She finishes at eleven-thirty, so might as well help when she can. 

He gives her a smile. 

“Sounds good.” 

The rest of the morning goes by, the same old customers come in. Same old screaming that makes Katniss head throb and same old orders. But she only thinks of lunch with Peeta as she forces smile after smile and it all seems so worth it then. 

Just like yesterday, Peeta keeps baking and placing the loaves under the glass by the counter before going back to baking again. The only time Katniss really sees him. And even today he doesn’t look at her, not a glance or look that whispered of their new relationship or their little secret. Katniss realizes that Peeta kept work and private life separate. The baker wasn’t angry or ignoring her like she thought yesterday. He only gave his everything to this bakery and didn’t let distractions bother that. Katniss likes it. 

Peeta really loves this bakery.

The clock is twelve. Peeta places a sign against the door that reminds the people he’s gone for lunch before they both go to the kitchen. 

Katniss knows this kitchen is linked with too many happy and also bad memories for her, yet it’s a place of safety. Looking at it casually, the orange curtains and the worn chairs gave the room a cozy and happy feeling that almost screamed ‘typical home’. The smell of cinnamon and Peeta made it even better and it looked like being in the kitchen was much preferable than the living room. And it showed. The floor creaked under them and the wooden cabins were old and worn. Maybe that’s what made it look so safe. Knowing that people actually had been here, compared to the rest of Peeta’s house. Empty as it is. 

“Would you like a stew with beef or…?”, Peeta asks when Katniss sits down on the chair she has claimed as her own the many times she has been here. 

“Uhm…”, Katniss thinks, never having eaten beef before. What if she wouldn’t like it? Then she has to eat the meat without enjoying, and also, wasting it. “How about a simple soup? With bread?” Peeta raises an eyebrow, maybe the first time hearing someone chose soup over beef, but smiles anyway. 

“Whatever you say.” 

Before Katniss starts to overthink ( _ What should she say? Should she help him, or set the plates? Where are the plates anyway? She should ask, but he’s busy! _ ), Peeta talks over his shoulder. 

“Remember the cake we did?” Katniss looks at his back surprised, his hands working over the vegetables he’s about to cut. 

Of course she remembers, it's the only cake she has ever made. “You can’t believe how happy they were.” Katniss lits up, her eyes wide as she clamps her hands together. 

“Seriously? What did they say?” 

“That the whole thing was beautiful.” Katniss let’s out several happy laughs as Peeta chuckles. “The idea and the colors. Everything.” Katniss lights up in happiness and her whole body tingles with it. They had worked hard on the cake and it got noticed.

“That’s amazing! Mr. Mellark, we make such a good team.” Peeta agrees, and Katniss, who felt so happy that their customer liked the cake, didn’t feel as awkward anymore. She asks him where the plates are, and he shows her, pointing with the knife. 

They talk as Katniss makes it nice on the table, about how hard it is to make edible flowers and how practice makes perfect. They both know about that very well, and Katniss heart race when realizing that they have something in common. 

When the soup is done, they still keep talking and Katniss is sure that she has never talked so much in her life. It’s about everything, from the weather to childhood memories, and Peeta even mentions briefly while dipping the bread in the soup that he had it rough as a kid. He doesn’t say much more, and Katniss feels guilty because she already knows that. Madge words from several weeks ago echoed in her mind and a part in the huntress felt like she had snooped in Peeta’s life without consensual. But he kept the conversation going, and soon Katniss laughs loudly when he tells a story about Delly getting scratched by a cat for gripping its tail. 

“Shit!”, Peeta suddenly shouts, standing up and Katniss does too, glancing at the wall were his eyes stuck. “I should’ve opened by now.” Yes, he should've. The clock said 13:20, and Katniss stands confused by the table while Peeta takes both their plates and place it by the sink with hurried motions. Before she knows it, a small quick kiss lands on her lips and Katniss face turn into a deep shade of magenta when the baker gives her a smug smile. 

“It was nice with the company. I hope you’ll stay for lunch tomorrow too.” Katniss doesn’t dare to open her mouth, so she just nodded stupidly and childish, making the baker chuckle. He gives her a kiss more, then leaves her in the kitchen. “Don’t forget to take some bread. You worked good today.” He says over his shoulder. 

Katniss nods again, even if he isn’t there, and place both her hands on her cheeks to cool herself down. 

 

 

“I wish I had a brother-in-law…”, Prim pouts when they eat dinner and Katniss glares at her sister angrily. She looks at her mother, waiting for a response but only sees in their mother's eyes that she wants it too. 

Katniss swallows the dry food in her mouth and they keep eating in silence again.

 

 

It’s been about a week since Katniss saw Madge, so the next day, after the amazing lunch with Peeta and the awful dinner with her family, she sees her best friend walking by the bakery with hurried steps. Since the morning rush was over, and there were no customers in line, Katniss sneaks up to the door hurried and opens it, the warm spring winds rolling into the bakery and mixed with the bread-scented air.

“Madge!”, Katniss tries to scream quietly with her head sticking out, afraid that Peeta would hear her. Even if they had this secret between them, he was still her boss after all.

The mayor’s daughter turns her head by the sound of her name, and Katniss is surprised when she doesn’t see the typical smile on her face. Madge turns around and walks up the Katniss, who steps outside and close the door behind her. 

“Madge is everything alright?” Katniss asks, walking down the three small steps by the door to meet with the girl. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”, she says. But she doesn’t look fine. Her already big eyes were slightly bigger, her mouth in one thin line and her whole body language told how she was elated and upset. Eager almost, and Katniss didn’t like that she lied. “Just…problems at home, you know…”, she answered like she had read the huntress mind. Avoiding eye contact.

“I’m sorry to hear that…”, Katniss says, really feeling sorry. She grabs her hand. “If there is anything I can do, just let me know.” Madge nods, placing a blond sling behind her ear before turning around to leave. A part of Katniss doesn’t believe her, but she feels likes she doesn’t have the right to not to. Katniss has been a bad friend, after all. It has gone a week since she talked to Madge, and it never occurred to Katniss that she should be the one to visit  _ her _ sometimes, to be the one to take the initiative and not poor Madge. 

With a heavy stone in Katniss stomach, she turns around and walks back to the bakery.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, we'll hear about Peeta's wicked thoughts about the whole situation...
> 
> ~Lenkia


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

 

When Peeta asked Katniss to stay for lunch yesterday, with a big smile and soft eyes, he felt relief when she accepted. He didn’t really mind having company while eating, in fact, it was nice. They had talked about anything and everything, those types of conversations that just go and go and before you know it, the time is over. And oddly Katniss always made sure to talk with respect. He was older and her boss, after all. Peeta doesn’t know if it’s necessary to speak formally, considering that they’ve made out two times already. Not that he minds.

Besides that, having lunch with the girl was a step closer to his goal. Sure, she was shy at times to times, like the teenager she is, but he could talk for them both and he could make her feel at ease too. Today she talked about how she saw her sad friend, and that she felt like a bad one herself for not being there for her. It was a step closer to feeling safe around him. He was good at that. Make people feel safe before grabbing them by the neck. Poor girl, the victim she would become. But it is like that when you have a fucked up childhood.  _ Hmm _ . 

Peeta was close to mentioning it yesterday but didn’t. Only that he had it rough. He wanted to save his sobbing childhood stories for another day. That shit is really is effective.

Peeta laughs, caused by his own thoughts while coughing out the smoke, looking at the white stick with raised eyebrows. It was a long time ago he smoked, probably because he has been feeling good lately. But of course, it wouldn’t last long. 

It was the monthly dinner at the Mellarks today. 

In about five minutes, he’d had to leave. All dressed up and ready, just collecting himself before walking into the hell he lives. Apart from other times, he wasn’t ready today. Peeta hasn’t seen his brothers or father in a long time and it makes him uneasy not knowing what their mother would do next, what it was she hated about him this month. 

Peeta swallowed audibly.

With glassy eyes and a shaking hand, he crushes his cigarettes into the ground.  

 

 

* * *

 

 

Peeta scared her. 

Katniss doesn’t know what has happened to him. Just yesterday they had eaten lunch together and he had listened to her with soft eyes as she worried over her friend. He had reassured her, given her a hug and comforted her. Told her to go visit Madge and talk, apologize. It helped Katniss a lot. She felt much better, and she gave him a kiss on his cheek before she left for the day. 

But when she came to the bakery this morning, he didn’t greet her. She put on the apron by the counter, waiting on the bakers daily greeting but he never came. Already then Katniss felt like something was wrong, worried almost. So she went to the backroom, where she saw him bake. And he baked.  _ Hard _ . Aggressive. With hard, fast motions that only felt more wicked when she heard mumbling noises, realizing that he talked to himself. 

It didn’t make the situation much better that all around the room trays of loaves and bread were spread around him. Even on the floor, there were trays that couldn’t fit on the table. Katniss realized then that he had been baking the whole night because she has never seen these much pastries in her whole life. It should be funny, this was basically a Bakery Wonderland. But it was the whole opposite. 

“Mr. Mellark…”, Katniss whispered, afraid to startle him, but also just  _ afraid _ . He didn’t look sane when he turned around. His eyes were dark and hair messy. She even felt a shiver run down her body when he smiled. That same smile that he gave her weeks ago. Like she was just a customer, the ones Katniss herself gives to people by the counter. Just fake and forced. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Katniss just fine.” He doesn’t seem fine but she doesn’t dare to say anything so she just nods before he turned around and kept baking. 

The day goes by normally and Katniss forgets it during the morning rush. It’s too much stress and there wasn’t time for worries. It isn’t until lunchtime that she remembers Peeta because he finally comes out of his hiding place in the backroom to close for the hour they ate lunch. 

It’s quiet and tense. If she had a knife, she could’ve cut the air. She swallows when Peeta slowly walk to the door to put the sign on. Walking with almost painful and tired steps that echoed against the walls. Katniss just following his steps with her eyes behind the counter as she’s sitting on her chair and. Waiting. She doesn’t even know what she's waiting for and that bothers her the most. 

“Katniss.” He turns to face her and like ice running down her body, she shivers the second time today. His eyes held something… sinister. She has seen that look on his face before, like he’s a hawk diving down for its prey, ready to just-

“Yes?”, she says, confident in her voice. 

“Are you alright?” Katniss raise both her eyebrows, a startled noise leaving her throat. 

“M-me?”, she asks, pointing a finger at herself. He nods, walking casually towards her, leaning on the counter with both his hands on the edge.

“Yes, you.” Peeta gives her a smile and like magic, that sinister-scary look she saw just now disappeared. Katniss doesn’t answer for a long time, just gawking at Peeta, questioning her sight. Didn’t he just…? 

“Mr. Mellark, I’m fine.”, Katniss answers back after a few seconds, almost offended. “It’s you who seems…  _ off _ today.”

“I’m fine. Just fine.” 

“I don’t believe you.” Like a grip around her throat, she suddenly can’t breathe and it’s when she realizes what she said. To her  _ boss. _ But before her face turns into a tomato, she glances up at Peeta who sighs like he has been defeated. 

“Let’s talk about this somewhere else.” Katniss nods. 

Peeta takes her to the living room where she had woken up from sleeping after that awful night. Unlike the kitchen, it felt cold the moment they stepped in. Dead. Hasn’t been used for a long time, she noticed by the smooth layer of dust laying over the room. The flower patterned carpets didn’t make it any happier, just more depressing. It felt like this room was just for show by the way the furnishings were placed so perfectly and untouched. 

Peeta sits down on the couch and as Katniss is about to do the same, he stops her. Glancing at the small space between his leg before looking up at her with a small innocent smile and when the naive huntress finally understands, her eyes turn wide as balls and cheeks fill with blood because  _ oh no  _ she can’t handle it. 

Katniss wants to reject out of shyness. She doesn’t think she can deal with that much contact, but his eyes are beautiful and so is his little smile and he seems so tired today. Like he needs a hug.

So she turns around and sits between Peeta’s thighs, feeling like she’s about to explode from lack of air, clenching her eyes when he places his arms around her body and inhales her scent, lips pressed to her head. 

“Relax.”, he whispers against her scalp and when she finally does, leaning against his chest and placing her hands over his resting on her stomach, she can feel his heartbeat against her back. It’s relaxing. And it’s relaxing for him too, for his shoulder stops to tense and he breathes out. 

“Are you going to tell me what wrong?”, she finally asks after a few minutes, patting his fingers with her own. Her olive-colored, smooth fingers against his ivory, old ones. 

“Katniss, are they still talking about marriage at home?” Katniss stops, her brain working on full mode trying to understand. This is about him. She wants to be there for him, why does he change the subject? Or is the subject of her?

“Yes, they do. They keep… waiting, almost.” Memories from days ago flow back in Katniss head, her mother pleading her to think about marriage and her sisters glaring over dinner. A lump creates in her stomach, hard like a rock and as heavy too. It never seemed to end. “But I’m not going to. I’m not interested in him.” 

“ _ Him _ ?” Katniss isn’t sure if she wants to give him the identity of her friend and  _ admirer _ , but Peeta probably doesn’t even know him. 

“Gale.” 

“Hawthorne?” Katniss freeze, turning her head and glaring up at him with shocked eyes.

“You know him?”, she asks embarrassed, feeling stupid, and Peeta raises his eyebrow, squinting his eyes questioningly. 

“He hunts with you, right? I trade with him.” He looks back at her, a smirk playing on his lips that makes Katniss nervous, turning her eyes back to their hands as the color of magenta covers her face. _Of course, he was just here the other day..._ “Huh. So it’s him.”

“He’s just a friend, but everyone had their stupid expectations and he thinks he has to live up to them.”, Katniss mutters, cursing herself for sounding like a child. “It doesn’t matter, really.” 

“It does.” Something inside Katniss flutters at his words, her hands gripping his as he kisses her scalp, rubbing his nose against her like a wolf. “You’re mine, Katniss. Only mine.” Peeta suddenly has his gorgeous, plump lips against her ear and Katniss flinch, her breath hitching as her eyes turn wide. Goosebumps appearing on her arms. He whispers in her ear. “Do you understand?”

The way he states the words, the way he says it. It makes the huntress uneasy, almost afraid but with a confusing twist to it. Pleasure. The kind that makes her heart race and legs clench because of the pulses sending to her most private parts like waves. It should scare her because all new, unknown feelings are. But Peeta is different. Everything is different with him. How many morals and boundaries she has broken for him and so far she loves it. She loves-

A surprised moan escapes her throat when he suddenly places his hand under her chin, forcing her to look up to him from the side, and she does with big eyes and parted lips. His fingers softly pressing into her skin and eyes dark like the coal from the mines. Just like she had done just hours ago, Katniss feared those eyes. Yet her legs clenched together once again in a desperate attempt to ease the tension and her nipples becomes hard. 

“Do you  _ understand _ ?”, he repeats, voice tense and dark. Katniss swallows, eyes glancing down at his lips before nodding. 

“Y-yes.” 

He leans down and kisses her hard, aggressive just like he has been the whole day and Katniss can’t do anything than obey his actions. Several thoughts run through her head until it turns into a fog that she can’t seem to sort out. Because the fear, the pleasure, the feelings she felt was almost addictive. 

She parts her lips, meeting his dominating tongue with her own and he immediately does magic that makes her shiver, moan. The grip he had on her chin slowly fall down to her throat and he clenches lightly. And even if barely hurts, it shows clearly that he was the one in control. A sign of dominance. 

Katniss isn’t sure what she feels about that. 

Their lips part and both breath deeply, yearning for air. Katniss swallows, turned on and scared, looking up at the baker who licks his lips hungry. A smirk playing on his lips and she saw the same dark eyes as this morning that she was sure she hallucinated. 

“ _ Hawthorne. _ ”, he whispers, almost tasting the name on his lips. 

Katniss shivers and ignores the uneasy feeling that screams at her to run.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

The district 12’s only high school was a poor, worn place that hasn’t upgraded since it first opened. And the school contained of children, whose children later started there and their children would follow the same path (probably because they didn’t really have anywhere else to go) and it went on and on like this. Generation after generation would start at the district’s only high school, and he was sure that just like the mother and fathers before them, the only thing the children actually did besides studying, was gossiping. 

Yes, gossiping was the only thing the students actually did. Peeta isn’t sure now, but it sure was the shit in his years. Not that he was so good at it, though.

Peeta remembered sitting in the cafeteria with Delly, eating their sandwiches for lunch and talking about stuff that 12-year old talked about. It was probably about the tree in Delly’s backyard they climbed on the day before. They had climbed far up and screamed at the top of their lungs when they reached the crown of the tree. But Delly’s father had come out of the house and sworn at them, demanding them to come down. They both received a smack on their head after. 

As Delly talked, she suddenly stopped in the middle of eating her sandwich when her eyes suddenly became wide. Before Peeta could address her sudden act, the blond girl put down her sandwich and stood up. 

“Hazel!” Peeta turned around just as the brown hair girl did, who was walking past their table ready to leave the cafeteria. She was a Seam, you could see that from miles away. A typical one too. With soft big eyes, small body and, not so odd, hazel hair. 

He didn’t know Hazel that much. They had classes together sometimes and she sat beside him then. She didn’t talk much, but she wasn’t quiet either. Hazel always has a smile on her face and used to ask him about the bakery. Peeta happily answered. They could hold a conversation. 

But when Hazel approached the two friends, she looked like she was ashamed. Exhausted and unsure, studying their faces before sitting down next to Peeta. Yet, the smile still remained even if it was a bit forced.

“Delly, Peeta.” Delly swallowed like she is afraid and Peeta feels so lost. Gripping his sandwich mid-air as he looked at the two girls with raised eyebrows.

“Is it true, Hazel?” Now it is the Seam girls turn to swallow, her cheeks turning a bit red under her olive-colored skin as she looked around her, afraid that someone might hear. Nobody was listening, but they definitely looked at her. Some with smirks on their faces, others with shocked wide eyes as someone whispered in their ear. 

“Yes.” Delly’s face became hard. Mouth in one straight line and Peeta didn’t dare to ask what was happening. But he really wanted to know. “It’s gonna be fine, Delly. He bought us a house and we’re getting married tomorrow. It’s all good.” Hazel smiled once again when she looked at Peeta’s confused face. “And you should keep your ears open, Peeta.” 

Delly laughed together with Hazel, but Peeta still didn’t understand. 

“It’s gonna be fine.”, Hazel said once again, standing up to leave. Placing a hand on her stomach. “Just fine.” 

When she leaves, Delly glare at Peeta and calls him stupid. He asks why. 

“How  _ can’t _ you know? Everyone talks about it, Peeta.” She takes a big bite from her forgotten sandwich, talking with muffled sounds. “She’s pregnant.” 

Peeta’s eyes turned wide, face turning red at the thought that Hazel has  _ done _ it. Not so odd, being 12 years old. But she was so young, just 15-16 and not even married. 

“It’s some miner,  _ according _ to the rumors. Mike, Miles Hawthorne? I don’t know, but he just turned 19. Her parents will be so maaaad.” She shrugs. “But she seems happy.” 

She was. According to Delly, months later, Hazel gave birth to a healthy boy that she loved more than the world. Hazel and her husband were so deeply in love and Peeta remembered how Delly sighed with dreaming eyes when talking about them. 

Now, back to reality, Peeta stood right in front of the Hawthorne household and watched their old, worn house that seemed to collapse any second. His bored eyes glance at the wooden door, imagining a pregnant Hazel in white in her husband's arm walking through the threshold with love and hope. 

There was no such thing as that. 

He knocked in the door and almost a minute later, the same typical Seam looking girl opened. With same soft eyes that turned wide in shock and still same old hazel hair that was on top of her head in a bun. She had aged a lot, wrinkles covering around her eyes and pan. Peeta guesses that grief and sorrow makes you age. The widow looked nothing like 32 years old and Peeta doesn’t even feel guilty that he at least looked his age. 

Peeta glance down. The arms on her shirt were folded up and her hands were soaked in water, fingers wrinkled like raisins.  _ Perfect _ .

“Hello, Hazel.” Peeta smiles as soft as he can. 

“Peeta!”, she says after a few seconds of just staring, smiling big. “My- it was such a long time ago! Come in, come in!” She lets the baker inside, leading him to the kitchen and insists that she makes him a tea. 

“I’m sorry for my rude staring, I was just so shocked to see you.” 

“I understand.”, Peeta says, sitting on the chair while sipping on the warm drink. “I heard you were washing, so I bought a carpet with me I really need to clean.”  _ He really didn’t need to clean it. _ “Thought it would be nice to meet and old acquaint.”

“Of course, It’ll be done by next week.” Peeta smiles. 

“Perfect. Katniss told me you are the best in the district.” Hazel lift her eyebrows. 

“Katniss?” 

“Yeah, she works for me.” He sips is on his tea. “Such a passionate girl.”, Peeta says, hiding his smile behind the cup.

“She is. A very hard working girl.”

“But…”, Peeta looks down at his cup, worry covering his face as he sighs. “I’m a bit… concerned.” 

“About Katniss?”, Hazel asks surprised, shocked that the baker would care about a teenager. 

“She may look strong, but a girl, so young that she is, can only hold on for so long. I feel like her boss it’s my duty to help her. Katniss is tired, Hazel. She needs a husband, someone to take care for her and she has mentioned many times that your son, Gale, is the one she has in her mind.” Hazel face is unreadable, yet he manages to see a spark of happiness in her eyes. “But he hasn’t done much to approach her…”

“What?”, Hazel burst out. “I’ve talked to Gale about it and he said he would ask for her hand. That was more than a month ago though…” She groans, smacking her hand over her eyes. “That stupid boy, I bet he chickened out.” 

“Like a said, a girl can only hold on for so long.”, Peeta stands up. “We get new customers at the bakery daily. Miners and workers. And Katniss… let’s just say that she likes the  _ attention _ the young men give her.”

Hazel freeze, her eyes becomes big and her mouth is parted wide open. Like she’s seen a ghost, her skin becomes pale and Peeta knows he’s done his part. In this District, it was all about reputation. And this is a scandal. If the others knew of Katniss behavior, the girl would never marry. Nobody wants a slut.

And not marrying…. Well, you might as well hang yourself. 

”Thanks for the tea. I’ll be back next week.” Peeta gives the lady a smile, who still looked at Peeta with a worried, horrified face. “Don’t worry Hazel. Teenagers these days needs someone who can control them. I’m sure your son will do an amazing job. And please, don’t tell anyone what I just said. Katniss may be wild, but she still is a good kid.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

 

“Hey, it’s Madge here?”, Katniss asks when the maid of the Undersee’s opens the door the mansion the mayor and his family lives in. 

The maid, an elderly Seam who’s name Katniss don’t know, glares at the huntress with disgusted eyes. Katniss doesn’t really care, every time she’s visiting Madge she is always welcomed by those eyes. Even Madge herself told Katniss not to care. 

Today was Sunday and Peeta told her that he was closing this one day. He gave her the rest of the day off since he himself had business to take care of. And Katniss really needed it. Yesterday had been odd and... Just scary. Katniss needed some time to think. 

Not really think. To  _ run away _ . She needed fresh air, to forget and pretend that those dark, cold eyes didn’t exist. 

Yes. They didn’t exist.

So Katniss first priorities were to hunt, then visit Madge. She even found small, sweet strawberries in the forest that she picked for her friend. It was these strawberries that created their friendship in the first place. When Katniss had, for the hundred of time, sold her a box Madge had finally dared to ask her in for tea. And then it just went on from there. 

And now, as a friend, Katniss had to be there for her.

“No. Ms. Madge isn’t home at the moment.” All hope left Katniss body.

“Oh.”, she sighed. “Well, can you give her this and tell her that I was here?” The maid nods and takes the box of strawberries from her hand before closing the door right in her face. 

Katniss swallowed down the guilt she had for some reason before leaving the mansion. 

 

 

Madge watched the huntress walk from her house with slumped shoulders. From Madge's window, she saw everything. The curtains hid her well. 

The bed cover squeezed around her body like a second skin as Madge kept sobbing, eyes turning small in anger and tears  _ still _ running down her cheeks. 

This isn’t fair, Madge thought. This  _ isn’t fair! _

Katniss really talked to her all worried and caring the other day, like she was some  _ good _ friend. Like she actually cared for her

But… It wasn't really Katniss fault, Madge tries to tell herself. Katniss can’t control that Gale likes her so much and that Gale doesn’t like Madge. 

And that Gale literally told her to  _ fuck of  _ two days ago. 

Madge's heart clenches and she cried some more into her hands. Sobbing as it felt like her lungs would jump out of her any second now. This kind of pain. She doesn’t wish this on anybody. She hates this. And she can’t hate Katniss. 

But it isn’t  _ fucking _ fair that Katniss has Gales heart while screwing around with a baker almost ten years older than herself.

_ Disgusting. _

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

When Madge walked out of the house of hers twelve days ago, she never expected so many things to happen. She never expected that her heart would break like it this. 

Everything that ever happened felt like a fairytale. Or just a dream. 

Now all she can do is cry.

Madge had walked to school that day. Just like any other day. It was lonely without Katniss and she missed her terribly. But the girl had to survive some way and even Madge found work over school appealing. It would be so nice to just  _ do _ something rather than to listen about hours of Panem's history. 

But she couldn’t. What would everyone say when they find out that the mayor's daughter is a dropout? 

Either way, she has come to peace with that. Instead, she focuses to get the highest grade in the class. She can focus better in class without Katniss, it’s hard to listen to the teachers when Madge had so much to say to her friend. 

Twelve days ago, Madge had walked from school with her bag over her shoulder, waving goodbye to someone she doesn’t know. She took the 30-minute walk home and her whole body felt heavy when she finally saw the outline of her mansion. School started eight every morning and having good grades requires many hours of study. It wasn’t enough that she sweated so much and the bag was so damn heavy on her shoulder. The thought of studying, with her aching legs and the spring sun over her, made Madge groan in annoyance.

“Something wrong?”

Madge jumped in fear, a surprised voice leaving her mouth and she dropped her bag in a panic. Many books escaped and Madge turned as red as her mathematic book laying on the ground. 

“Gale!”, Madge almost screamed, her hand on her chest trying to calm her racing heart. The hunter glanced at her with raised eyebrows, leaning against her doorway like  _ she _ was the suspicious one lurking around the mayor’s house. 

The last time Madge saw Gale was at Katniss’. Katniss had screamed at him, angry about something Madge didn’t want to involve herself into. But it was enough for her to understand. 

Gale want Katniss. Katniss didn’t want Gale. 

Madge wants Gale. 

Madge finds it fascinating about her friend's decision to not accept his proposal. Just  _ look at him _ ! His dark, deer eyes, brown chocolate-like hair. Jaws sharp as a knife and body built like a man. Skin covered in dark coal that just made him more appealing. 

Butterflies did that thing in her stomach. 

But Madge isn’t stupid. Looking beautiful doesn’t make someone beautiful. Looks isn’t everything, but Madge sees how he treats Katniss. He turns all soft and kind. Not enough to show, but enough to notice. 

Maybe that’s what made Madge like him. 

It’s not like he’s kind to her. She noticed his angry glares and his grumpy sighs whenever he sees her. He looks down at her because he thinks she looks down at him. Because he is a Seam and she’s that rich Townie brat that has everything. Typical. Not exactly the first time stereotypes ruin it for her. 

Yet her heart yearns for him and Madge is sure, besides his gorgeous looks, that it’s the way Gale is with loved ones that make her weak for him.

In her deepest fantasies, it’s her he turns all soft and kind for.

“Nothing is wrong, no. Just tired.”, Madge finally answered, leaning down the pick up her books. Thankful for the few seconds she can avoid eye contact. But soon she saw two pair of olive-colored hands help her and her heart raced some more. 

“What are you doing here?”, she dared to ask as they stacked up her books. 

“Got some strawberries to sell but no one’s answering.”, the hunter said bored. 

“Yeah, dad’s not home and the maid is probably sleeping. Nothing wakes that woman up once she’s down.”  _ And her mother is so high on medication she can’t even open her eyes. _

Madge heard a chuckle and looked up at Gale with wide eyes, letting the image of his smile sink in. 

“That’s funny.” Madge wanted to die out of happiness. 

“But I can buy some now.” She stood up with the books clutched to her chest, thanking Gale for the help. “I’ll just go and get some money.” 

A few minutes later, Gale gave her two boxes and Madge gave him the exact amount he asked for. Not more or less. She knows how Seams are. 

“Thank you.”, Madge said. He nodded and then left. 

The next day, he came again. She bought three boxes. 

The day after, Gale asked why she likes strawberries so much. 

“The taste reminds me of summer.”, Madge answered, giving him the coins while balancing the three boxes in her hand. Not only that, Madge’s mother loved them. Whenever she was awake, Madge would always feed her mother the red berries while they talked about school and stuff. In some way, it also reminded her of her mother. Happiness. 

Gale nodded, putting the money in his pocket. 

“Do you like strawberries?” It’s a stupid question, but she doesn’t want him to leave. 

“I… I don’t know.” Madge raised her eyebrows shocked. “I’ve tasted once as a kid, it was kind of bitter. I don’t think it was ready yet. Other than that…” He shook his head.

“But you sell them.”

“Exactly. I just sell them.” Madge swallowed nervously, afraid that she took a step far.

“Wanna taste?”, she suddenly said, and a few seconds went before her whole face turned red as the strawberries.  _ Why did she say that? _

“What?”

“The strawberries. With me?” Madge closed the door behind her and sat down on the porch, her legs hanging on the edge as she looked up at him. Gale’s eye was wide, surprised even. 

“No, you just bought them-”

“-and I want to share them with you. Come now!” The hunter looked uncomfortable, glanced around like he’s afraid he’ll get caught with her, before finally sitting down next to her. Madge gives him a smile.

They didn’t say much, but they ate the strawberries in silence. 

The day after, they share a box once again.

“So what do you do? In the mines? Is it hard?”, Madge asked after a few minutes of silence, munching on the berries before throwing the little ring of green leaves away. 

“Oh you want to know, do you?” A kind of aggressive and nasty tone rang in his voice together with a glance that could kill, and Madge freeze. Her blood turned into ice and she doesn’t understand where this is coming from. They just sat and ate in peace and the next thing she knows he's put down the “I’m a Seam, you’re a Townie”-card. Like he wants a war. 

And Madge was not having it. Not today. Not when they were sitting on  _ her _ porch enjoying  _ his _ strawberries and enjoying  _ each others  _ company. Why did everything had to be so separate with him? 

The ice turned into fire and the fear turned into anger. Her eyes became small, as small as his own and her teeth clenched. 

“Does it feel better now?”, she whispered, feeling the familiar stinging behind her eyeballs. “Does it feel good to put others down because you have it so  _ tough _ ?” She expected him to become angrier, to stand up and leave or maybe give her a slap across the face. But he keeps looking at her, his eyes boring into hers and it only fuels the fire. 

“Do you think I have a shit load of money at home? A whole coffin full of gold hiding under my dad's bed that he spends on me? Nice  _ dresses _ ”, she points on her clothes, just a plain yellow dress that she’s had almost two years now. Not any different than other people. “and just stuff that makes me happy?” Her vision turned blurry and she realized too late that she has started to cry. But she clenched her jaw together and her hands turned into fists. She won’t be weak. 

“But you know what would make me happy? If people just saw me as  _ me _ and not the mayor’s  _ rich brat _ daughter. Do you think I don’t hear that crap every day? Do you think I’m only hated by the Seams, and not the Merchants too? Oh, they hate me, they all hate me because of stereotypes you all create. Someone I’m not! And if you are like them and assume stuff about me too, then you can get the fuck out of here.” Madge doesn’t even look at him when she stood up with shaky legs and slammed the door after herself, the sobs she held for so long finally escaping. 

Suddenly Madge can’t believe that she has a crush on him, that  _ stupid, mean  _ and _ ugly  _ boy. How could she ever like someone so rude? 

The next day, there aren't any strawberries. But Madge still has strawberries left that she fed her mother the same night

The day after, at the same time Gale always visits, there is a knock on the door. And as always, it’s Madge who opens. But instead of a big smile, the hunter is greeted with angry and sad eyes and mouth in a thin line that makes it hard to have eye contact. Gale looked down at the porch, ashamed. 

“I never looked at it from your perspective before. Sorry.” And there. Right there, Madge saw how he turned all soft and kind. Just for her. It was just a deep fantasy of hers but now it happened. For real. 

She forgave him as fast as it came. They shared strawberries on the porch in silence once again and Madge felt like she was flying. Her whole body bubbled and she gave him small smiles and she kept blushing as soon as their fingers touched when reaching for a berry. 

Looking back at it now, she feels stupid for forgiving him that fast. Like all that sadness and anger she felt was just nonsense. Her feelings are not important. All just for him. 

You turn stupid when you’re in love, after all.  

The day after, they kept eating on the porch and Madge leaned against Gales' shoulder, taking a deep satisfying breath. 

“I’m so full.”, she said, patting her stomach. “I’ll never get tired of it, though.” 

“My pee is turning red.” Madge looked up at Gale shocked, who looked back at her with dead serious eyes. Few silence seconds goes by before they both burst out with laughter, clenching their stomachs for dear life as they fight for air. 

Tears run down Madge's cheeks. And when she opened her eyes and saw Gale’s beautiful face while he laughed. Madge knew she was a goner.

The day after, on the eight days since they started their little friendship, Madge kissed Gale.  

She regrets it so much...

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is about to go down.......

 

Gale talked about his siblings between bites of the fruits and Madge listened with a big smile on her face. He talked happily about his brothers, Rory and the crazy stuff they’ve done. About the time they caught a rat with their bare hands and let it in the house, and Madge almost dies in laughter when he told that their mother fainted when seeing the fat creature running around the house. 

“You have such a lovely family.”, she said between giggles, whipping her tears. “I wished I had funny stories like that.”

“No funny stories? Nothing?”, Gale asked, leaning his body against the wall, throwing a bad berry away. Madge gives the hunter a half smile, her legs dangling over the edge of the porch as she avoided eye contact the best she could. 

“I don’t, actually. I have happy memories, of course. But they aren’t many.” She wouldn’t bring up the times when she was a little girl, sitting in her mother's lap on Saturday mornings with her father next to her, laughing together with the maid that cooked them breakfast. When her mother smiled down at her, hands around her hips that she squeezed whenever she felt like a hug. And Madge would always complain with laughter. 

No, she wouldn’t tell him that. 

“Maybe it’s because I don’t have siblings.” It’s not a lie, but it’s a distraction away from the depressed direction they were going. Madge didn’t want to bring up her  _ sad _ childhood, nobody does when you’re together with your crush. And Gale would probably just laugh at her.  _ The mayor’s daughter? Sad childhood? Hilarious.  _

“Maybe.”, Gale said, scratching his neck. A habit he always did when nervous. “But there is plenty of time to create funny stories, y’know?” Madge chuckled, nodded as she glanced at the hunter. 

“You’re right. I think this moment, the rat story and your red pee, will be one funny memory. Happy too.”  They both laughed until it got quiet again. Leaning against the house in silence while looking out on the road, grasshoppers singing in the spring heat. 

“Gale?”, Magde suddenly whispered. He hummed as an answer. “Can I kiss you?” 

Madge has no idea were this courage came from and she ran out of it quickly because she didn’t even dare to look at him. Instead, she glanced at him slowly with red cheeks and saw from the outline of her eyes his face expression. Surprised, yet not shocked. Looked at her with a facial expression she couldn’t read and one she couldn’t face.

But she saw how Gale swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in a smooth motion before glancing around them. Making sure not a soul was near them before nodding. Actually nodding,  _ approving _ ! 

Madge's heart raced, her whole body shook and her hands sweated more than she already had. Yet she sat up on her knees, noticed how tense Gale was. Not moving from his place an inch as the Mayor’s daughter sat by him like she was praying. 

Maybe she was. Praying for some kind of reaction. Not just the unreadable expression he wore. 

With a hand pale as ivory, she placed a shaky one on his cheek and slowly turned his face towards her own. Inches away. 

He didn’t look at her. Madge waited for his eyes to stop at hers but it never happened. 

So she closed her eyes and took one shaky inhale before leaning down to kiss him. 

It was a long, stiff one. His soft lips tasted of salt and strawberries. An amazing combination. Madge had never tasted anything better. 

She leaned out, waiting for a reaction. Anything to match her own. Her whole body shook and heart raced. Sure that it would jump out of her mouth. 

But nothing. He doesn’t even open his eyes again. 

Madge didn’t want to think of Katniss. Of the huntress he rather wanted Madge to be and it hurt so bad. A disgusting, nasty feeling that made her bowel twist and eyes tear. So she leaned in again. 

And again. 

And again until they are both breathless. Until he finally reacted with shaky breaths and a hand on her waist that kept clenching whenever her lips touched his. Until he finally parted his lips and met her tongue. Until he leaned away from the wall behind him and put his other hand on her back, pushing her body closer to his. 

Until many minutes went by and Madge somehow managed to land in his lap. Both her legs bend beside his and her pale hand combing through his dark hair as they kissed. Lips aggressive yet passionate and amazing, his hands on her thigh and the other on her neck. Madge wanted to cry during that moment because that had been a dream. 

Because the next day he said the cursed word. Or more like, the cursed name. 

“I meet Katniss today.” Madge froze, her eyes turned wide and the grip she had around the box of strawberries tightened. He looked at her from the doorway, his gamebag on his shoulder and coal smeared across his face. He looked so damn beautiful and handsome, and her eyes started to tear before he even said the words and he noticed too because he immediately avoided eye contact. Madge was already sobbing when he said to her;

“We should stop. I have no feelings for you, so we should stop. ” 

And he left her standing there, crying and crying with the fucking strawberries in her hand before the maid, who woke up by her wailing, helped her to her bed and tried to comfort her. It didn’t work. 

_ It wasn’t fair…  _

Heartbroken and frustrated, Madge wanted to meet Katniss. She was the reason for her misery, but it was not her fault. And Madge needed someone. Just someone she could talk to because she’s always so damn lonely with her working father, sleeping mother and busy maid. Madge truly had no one and it only made her more fragile than before as she cried and cried and cried.  

So when she finally stopped crying, she went to the bakery to visit Katniss. Just to wait until she finished her shift and just talk her heart out because Madge really needed it. She just needed to- 

As Madge was about to open the door, her whole body suddenly stopped to move and her eyes turned wide in pure shock when she sees the baker leaning his head against the brown-haired girl she knew very well. There was barely any space between their lips and Madge is about to burst open the door and save her friend when she saw Katniss red face and same exited eyes she had when talking about hunting. 

And then he just took Katniss into the backroom, her friend walking in so willingly before the door closed behind them. Leaving Madge with a wide open mouth, shocked eyes, and her fantasy. 

Before she knew, minutes went by and her fingers still held the doorknob. As she let the handle go, she noticed her shaking hands and the tears running down her cheeks before turning around and Madge went home alone. 

 

 

When Katniss comes back from Madges she still feels sad as she closes the door. It was hard knowing her friend is going through a hard time and that Katniss can’t do anything about it. She managed to sell some game before going home, so there were some extra coins in her pocket. It felt wrong. She was supposed to be with Madge after all. But she wasn’t even at home, and even that felt like a lie somehow. And the Huntress really needed some new clothes. Geez, when was the last time she bought a new shirt?

Katniss place her gamebag by the doorway, yawning loudly as she walked to the kitchen. Mother is probably working and Prim had to be studying. Or else Katniss would’ve heard her giggling, crying or what different types of screaming there was. She was never quiet, her little duck. Not unless-

Katniss stops. Her eyes turn wide like plates and her whole body freeze right in the middle of the kitchen. She sees two things. 

Flowers. Beautiful flowers on the table in every single color, more than a rainbow consisted of and more beautiful than a rainbow even was. The stalks wrapped around in a red satin strand and it was the kinds of flowers you can’t find in District 12. The ones Katniss couldn’t even the name of and ones she’s sure didn’t exist in her father's book. 

Often, flowers message is associated with romance. A nice gift to the one you like, a symbol. Katniss would have blushed in amazement and loved it if she wasn’t in this situation. She didn’t think she was  _ that _ kind of girl who would care for some flowers, but she thinks she truly would. But right now, she can’t.

Because right now, that flower only gave a whole other message.

Expensive. 

Those kind of flowers were expensive, nothing a Seam ever could or would buy.  _ Ever.  _ And the red satin and beautiful colored flowers didn’t fit in in their little Seam house with old curtains and even older walls. It was a Merchant thing. Only a townie would afford that. One Katniss knew. 

That’s why Katniss wants to die when the second thing she sees is her mother, Hazel, and Gale sitting beside the table.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen to poor Katniss?   
> Thank you for reading today's chapter!!!
> 
> Lenkia~


	17. Chapter 17

 

“Katniss.” The way Hazel said her name, full of disappointment and sadness made Katniss shiver. And the only thing she can do is to stand there, with a face red as the flowers and only guess. 

_ How much do they know?  _

Not only that, why was even Hazel and Gale here? Why did her mother look like a ghost, and Gale look like he’d done something bad? Guilty, with both his hands in his lap that he keeps watching on, the most interesting thing in the world. 

And Prim was probably in their room with her ear pressed against the door. 

“Ehm…” Katniss tries to say anything, but the flowers are taking all the energy in the room and keep shining into their eyes. 

“Those are for you.”, mother says, noticing the distraction but lifts up a card that’s still wet from laying beside the flowers petals. 

Katniss swallows, glancing at Gale but receive nothing before reaching for the card. 

_ Miss you…. _

Katniss blushes even more and throws the card away. She doesn’t know if she should be angry or not, but right now it’s the only thing she feels. Why would Peeta do such a daring thing? He knows that Katniss hasn’t told her family and it’s the first thing he asked when they shared their first kiss. 

But maybe it arrived early. Maybe he did actually miss her so much that he was willing to do it, knowing that Katniss could come up with a quick lie if her mother asked. 

And that only made her angrier. Why were Hazel and Gale even here? Hazel looked at her with confronting eyes like Katniss was guilty. Like she  _ knew _ . But she can’t know, so that means Hazel has already made up her mind about Katniss. And that's really rude. 

“What, you think it’s for me or something?”, Katniss asks annoyed, glaring at her mother while crossing her arms. “It must have been a mistake.” 

“A mistake? Flowers from Town all the way to the Seam?”, Hazel burst out and Katniss clench her fists in anger. 

“Hazel, I’m sorry but this has nothing to do with you-”

“Katniss!”, her mother cries with a warning in her voice. To have respect, but Hazel doesn’t seem to mind, too angry to notice. She stands up, the chair falling behind her.

“This has  _ everything _ to do with us!”, Hazel screams, her eyes filled with tears from frustration and Katniss can only stare in shock. “Your poor mother…” Hazel lets out a sob, covering her mouth while shaking her head in disappointment and Katniss heart starts to race, sweat running down her back and legs starting to shake, because what the hell is happening? What do they know?

“Your mother has worked so hard, Katniss. Been going through so much. What will people say if this comes out? What will they think of you? This will affect your sister, Katniss, don’t you understand?” 

_ They know.  _

Suddenly all anger leaves Katniss body and it replaces with fear. She glances at her mother, who looks down at the table with as big eyes as herself, filled with worry and skin paler than ever. 

Her mother knows. Her mother knows that she has been fooling around with the towns baker and her sister too. Her sister looks up to her. Katniss was supposed to be a good role model but she was too foolish to understand that it doesn’t just affect herself, but her sister's reputation too. 

Holy shit.  _ Holy fucking shit. _

“I-”, Katniss whisper hoarsely, her whole body pink in shame and eyes already tearing up. It’s so humiliating. In front of her mother, Hazel and even Gale who seems more ashamed then her. “It’s not like that-”

“It doesn’t matter now. We have to do something before it spreads out.”, Hazel says with a weak, shaking voice. “If it does…” Hazel shakes her head and Katniss hear sobs from her mother. It does something twisted to Katniss, seeing her mother cry. Her heart aches and Katniss lets out an ugly inhale that she can’t contain. “They’ll crush you with words, Katniss. Believe me, I know.” 

“What do we do?”, Katniss’ mother asks under her breath, wiping her tears hurriedly. Katniss can’t look at her anymore or else an artery inside of her will burst. It's so embarrassing. So awfully-

“We do what I did.”, Hazel whispers, staring right into Katniss blurry, frightened eyes. “Marry.” 

Suddenly everything in Katniss head stops to work. It turns quiet, and Katniss isn’t sure if it’s her ears that stop to listen or if everyone else is silent. The only thing she knows is how everything suddenly makes sense and for every second that goes by, her heart breaks some more. 

Katniss family wants her to marry Gale, including his mother. She knew how badly she wanted a wedding with her son and Katniss herself. But Katniss doesn’t want that. So they keep nagging to her over and over again while she fools around with the towns baker, much older than herself. A scandal that somehow manages to reach Hazel’s ears. 

And suddenly, there are flowers on the table and one, just  _ one, _ fucking solution on how to save the Everdeen reputation. And that is for her to marry Gale. Who happens to sit right in front of her. 

How  _ fucking  _ convenient.

Tears start to run out of Katniss eyes, but it’s not from fear anymore. No, it’s something twisted. An angry sort of feeling that makes her want to scream and cry at the same time. 

_ Disappointment.  _ Yes, exactly. Disappointment. How far her family and friends would go for a marriage she didn’t want. For the one only thing she doesn’t want to sacrifice to this family, but they won’t respect her feelings. They won’t respect her hard work and they are too spoiled to ever realize that. Too spoiled to even understand the sacrifice she’s done to this family and they’ll never be satisfied. They will never understand. 

Katniss glance at Gale, tears running down her cheeks and she waits on him to object. She wants him to tell her mother no because  _ don’t they see home miserable she is!? _ But no. 

He sits there, like the fucking coward he is, avoiding eye contact. Wants her married to him how miserable she even is. 

“It’s the only thing we can do, Katniss.” The huntress breathes faster, sobbing and clenching her fist with both her eyes locked to the floor. She can almost hear Hazel’s pleased undertone in her voice. “Only thing to save your sister. Right?” 

Katniss can hear her mother nod with a hum and that’s when Katniss finally looks up. With anger in her eyes so much warmer than fire and fury so much dangerous than the arrows she aims, Katniss feels done. She feels finished. She is so tired and she wants  _ fucking  _ out. 

“Hazel, mother.”, Katniss manages to whisper between clenched teeth, glaring lastly at her hunting partner that would be nothing but a stranger after this day. “ _ Gale.”  _ She can see him wallow in shame.  “Don’t you  _ ever _ try to talk with me again.” 

Their eyes turn wide, the three of them looking like they saw a ghost when they instead saw a heartbroken soul who couldn't tolerate this anymore. Who just can’t do this...

Katniss looks at her mother, who has the same heartbroken look as herself. Katniss eyes bore into hers. 

“ _ Ever _ !” 

Then Katniss turns around and walks out of the house. She thought that marrying someone she didn’t love would hurt, but she thinks that leaving her family behind hurts more. 

 

 

 

“Katniss?”, Peeta whisper shocked, seeing the huntress hug herself with glassy eyes and a disgusting smile she tries to force out. 

It doesn’t matter what, it always feels like the two of them end up out here. In the bakery’s backyard right beside the backdoor. And it feels like they’re the only ones left on this world when seeing each other, standing by the doorstep with teary eyes and awful feelings. 

Katniss has always felt like the world is against her. When her father died, when her mother got depression, when she dropped out of school and worked day to night, when never experiencing her youth, when she got shot by a peacekeeper. 

But when she looks up at Peeta’s ocean blue eyes, she doesn’t feel so lonely anymore. She doesn’t feel scared. 

She realizes that the world finally gave something back for all her pain.

“I’m-”, Katniss manages to say before sobs escape. Body shaking violently as tears run down her eyes. “I’m sorry-”

Before she can finish her sentence, two strong arms hold her and Katniss burst. She clenches his shirt as she wails. Snot and salty drops drenching his shoulder and she screams in pain.

Peeta hugs her harder and Katniss doesn’t think she’ll ever stop crying. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_ Jackpot! _

 

* * *

It’s way past curfew and Katniss is trying to enjoy her bath. 

Almost two months ago, Katniss washed off the blood from her shoulder right in this tub and felt so terrified. She almost died. She almost got caught, yet she laid in lukewarm water and enjoyed the scent of cinnamon. Feeling guilty. She knew how worried Prim would be.

Now, she washes off misery. Tries to wash off her memories of what just had happened two hours ago. Tries to forget the flowers, her mother's cries, Hazel’s pleased tone. 

But she can’t. 

She can’t because it hurt her. Her family hurt her so much and she hurt them. They wanted her married to Gale and she simply couldn’t stand it any longer. It was her final breaking point. So Katniss left. Not just for hunting or work. She  _ really  _ left. She hurt them and it doesn’t feel good at all. 

And now she is just laying in a bath, knowing how worried Prim probably is. They must all be. Curfew started some minutes ago and they don’t know where she is. Maybe they do know, after all.

Katniss head throbs from lack of hydration and she leans her head against the edge of the tub, her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head. With every inhale, her lungs fill with the scent of Peeta and it calms her down somehow. 

Because she wouldn’t be calm for much longer, she realized. Glancing at the fresh pair of pajamas beside her as her cheeks turn pink.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A loooooot happens this chapter! 
> 
> Let me know what y'all think of this chapter in the comment <3
> 
>  
> 
> And btw, the next chapter will have more... action, if you know what I mean.... ;))))))) 
> 
> Lenkia~


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ready or what????????? c; Extra long chapter just for YOU
> 
>  
> 
> READ THE TAGS IF YOU MUST

 

Katniss walks down the cold dark hall while braiding her hair, reaching for the door to her favorite place of the house, the kitchen. She didn’t expect Peeta to be elsewhere and isn’t shocked to see him by the stove, lifting a can of tea to fill the two cups on the table. 

He gives her a smile, a sympathetic one and pours the boiling tea as Katniss sits on a chair, the one she always sits on.

Katniss feels embarrassed. Her eyes were swollen, her nose red and knowing that she literally destroyed his T-shirt with snot doesn’t make it better. God, how many times would she cry in front of him? 

Peeta sits down, leaning forward on his chair and place his knuckle under his chin, waiting for Katniss to explain. When he do things like that, just doing a kind of posture, it reminds her of a parent and she remembers the fact that he is a grown up. That he’s 28 and she’s just sixteen. 

“Katniss, sweetheart.” That’s the second time he’s called her that, and just like the first, her body tingles. But now she just remembers her mother's disappointed face and it doesn’t feel good. “What happened?” 

Katniss doesn’t want to tell because the tears are threatening to come out and she just feel so bad. 

“It’s...” She places the palm of her hand on her forehead, trying to avoid eye contact. “My family, I can’t deal with them anymore. I’m so tired.”

“What did they do?”, he asks softly.

“They found-”, a sob escape and it burns behind her eyelids. “They found out about us and- and have the nerve to use it against me! Like,  _ blackmailing, _ me to marry Gale-”

“What?” Peeta looks at Katniss with wide eyes and Katniss wants to vomit in nervousness. “They know about us?”

“I- I don’t know how. I think Hazel heard it from someone and panicked and told my mother.”, Katniss rattled, covering her face as tears escaped once again. It would never end. “How could they go against me like that? They humiliated me, Peeta. I was so- so embarrassed!” She keeps crying again, the tea in front of her long forgotten. “I’m sorry.”

Once again, the baker hugs her and the smell of bread and cardamom surrounds her in the safest way. Head buried into his shoulder and it calms her until the two waterfall stops and dry hiccups are left. 

“Don’t say you're sorry, Katniss. You couldn’t do anything about it. It’s was my duty to make sure we’re careful, but I failed.” The huntress shakes her head against his shoulder, denying his statement and Peeta laughs softly, his hand running down her braid. 

“You can stay here as long as you want, Katniss. I wouldn’t want to go against your family, but when they hurt my girl, I’m willing to go against my morals.” Katniss eyes turn wide and her body turns into a deep color of red before she nods. He has never addressed her like that.  _ My girl.  _ My girlfriend? Did he mean like his girlfriend?

“Thank you.”, she manages to squeak out. He hums satisfied, patting her head for a few minutes in silence.

“Are you hungry? I have some left-over from today. Stew.” He lets her go and Katniss is thankful when he goes straight to the sink. She doesn’t want him to see how happy she was over two words. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty hungry. And I can’t say no to your stew, Mr. Mellark.” Peeta glance at her over his shoulder and they both grin at each other. 

 

Peeta offers to sleep in the living room but Katniss refuses. She can’t imagine Peeta spending the night in that cold awful room and she can’t stand that he does it because of her. As a Seam, Katniss was taught from early years that as a guest, you don’t ask for anything, do anything or bother anyone during your stay. So when Peeta told her that she could sleep in his bed while he would be on the couch, Katniss panicked. 

“No, no, Mr. Mellark. It’s fine, I’ll be sleeping in the living room.” Besides, she can’t handle sleeping in Peeta’s bed, the thought of it making her blush. Knowing that it’s covered with his scent, she’d probably wouldn’t be able to even close her eyes. 

Peeta looks at her with bothered eyes, unsure if he should pursue her more or just let her go. 

“Okay, alright. But don’t be afraid to ask if you need anything.”  Katniss nods with a shy smile. 

So instead of Peeta, it’s Katniss who sleeps in that cold awful room. Peeta gave her one blanket, a pillow and covers together with a hug telling her that everything would be fine, before leaving. Katniss heart raced. How did she found someone so perfect? 

But as soon as she turned off the light, Katniss started to shiver and her eyes couldn’t close. The curtains in front of her looking like a hunting soul ready to eat her flesh and Katniss got the creeps. She forced her eyes shut, but the image of her mothers suffering face didn’t make the whole thing better either. And it was cold and the couch wasn’t as comfortable as when she woke up on it two months ago. 

Katniss opened her eyes. Looking up at the ceiling defeated, knowing that it must have gone one hour since she turned off the lights. Katniss isn’t used to sleeping at someone else’s. It’s her first time and never alone too. Prim was always pressed against her body and warmth was constantly shared between the sisters. Katniss misses Prim. She truly misses her and she doesn’t know when she’ll meet her again.

The typical stinging behind her eyes decided to appear, making Katniss groan in annoyance. She won’t cry anymore, she’s done with that. 

Katniss sits up with a sigh, hugging her body when the covers slid off her and shivered when the cold hit her. There was a solution for everything, crying wouldn’t help. Katniss needs an extra blanket. That will do. 

With bare feet, Katniss tiptoed to the door, hands rubbing against her arms in an attempt to warm herself up as she walked through the end of the corridor where the stairs were. Katniss had never walked up to the stairs and the darkness she saw when looking up wasn’t scary, but the unknown was. She had never been up there. 

With small step she walked up, the stairs creaking slightly and the clock Katniss passed by stood two in the morning. 

When reaching the top, she immediately feels cold air breeze by her and she knows that a window is open somewhere. She follows the chilly winds until she stands outside the only closed door upstairs. Katniss knocks and waits almost 1 minute before realizing Peeta must be asleep just like any other human being in District 12. The fact that she’s waking Peeta up for just a blanket feels wrong and guilt grows in her. But it isn’t blanket’s she needs, really. 

It’s company. 

With freezing hands, she opens the door slowly and walks in. Making sure her steps are soft as she admires Peeta’s bedroom. It’s empty, containing only a closet and a king bed, but it’s huge. And the walls are covered with paintings that seem so realistic that for a second Katniss thinks it photographs in the dark room. Some really good painter, that artist is. Peeta must have bought them. 

Katniss sneak closer to the bed, immediately noticing the wide open window which whistled when the wind flew through and shivers run down her body. Finally, she stood beside the bed, looking down at the baker whose face was buried in his upper arm and arms hugging his pillow in a comfortable grip, completely unbothered by the chilly air. 

He looks really beautiful like that. With wild blond hair, shirt wrinkled up to his waist and soft snores escaping, making Katniss smile for herself. Cute. 

She keeps staring at him, happy that she’s not alone anymore, that she thinks she imagines Peeta’s blue eyes open up slowly and tired, squinting his eyes confused. 

“Katniss?” Katniss wakes up from her daydreaming in a gasping shock. 

“Peeta!”, Katniss whispers panicked, realizing she’s bothered him and being a  _ total creep  _ staring at him by the bed. Cheeks turn magenta and she stutters through her meanings. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up!”

“It’s okay, what's up?”, he asks weary, rubbing his eyes as he sat up on the bed. 

“Ehm, I’m…” The huntress looks down at her hands, trying to calm herself down and to act normal because right now she was a really bad guest. She was bothering Peeta and acting disrespectfully when just barging in his room like she owned the place. And now she was asking him for stuff. It has only been one night! Peeta would kick her out if she continued like this. 

“Is it okay if I’m here? With you?” Peeta suddenly looks awake, confused and shocked by her sudden request and it makes Katniss panic. “I-I know th- I didn’t mean, just like… I’m not used to being  alone. I always slept with Prim and I miss her…”  _ Don’t cry, Katniss. _ “And it’s empty and cold downstairs and it looks like someone’s hiding being the curtains.” Peeta keeps glaring at her in shock before he burst out in laughter and it makes the huntress less uneasy, avoiding eye contact with a small, shy smile.  _ So embarrassing, Katniss, what is wrong with you? _

“Of course, Katniss.”, he says, patting the place next to her on the bed and with careful moves, she places her knee on the bed and walks slowly with all four to Peeta until he opens up his arms and Katniss dives right into them. She places her arms around him, head against his heart.

“Geez, you’re so cold!”, he whispers, rubbing his arms over her back to cause friction and the whole thing makes Katniss eyes water and heart clench. Her father used to do that. 

“I’ve never slept alone before. Prim and I share a bed at home. Mother wanted to buy her a bed but she’d stick to me the whole time and I didn’t mind.” Peeta notices Katniss weak voice and he hugs her harder. 

“You can sleep here, Katniss. I’ll be on the right side of the bed and you on the left. Is that okay for you?” She nods. 

Peeta lays basically at the edge of the bed and so does Katniss. It’s probably because he’s afraid he’ll scare or step over her boundaries, but once again, Katniss can’t close her eyes and it doesn’t make the whole thing better than the window is wide open next to her. 

She turns around on the bed, glancing at Peeta’s back laying almost 3 feet away from her and slowly, she rolls her way to him until both her arms hug him from behind and she can hear Peeta chuckle, before turning around too. He grins at her and it’s now that Katniss understands why he was careful with space. Her whole body suddenly turns warm and her face all up to her ears becomes red because she’s laying in bed with Peeta, their bodies pressed together and faces just a few inches away. 

“Do you always get this much attention in the middle of the night?”

“I’m just cold, don’t get all cocky now.”, Katniss jokes and he chuckles once again before burying his head against her neck, pressing his whole chest against hers with the help of his hand laying right on her lower back. Katniss is sure he can feel her racing heart against his own. 

“Should I close the window, then?”, he whispers with a sexual tone against her neck, making the huntress shiver with both eyes open. She recognizes that voice. It was the same that insisted that she belonged to him. 

Butterflies seem to overpopulate in her body because every part of the body tingles with intensity. Before she knows it, he places a small kiss right under her jawline, a gasp escaping her as she clenches her eyes. 

“I-It’s alright.”, she whispers back with a shaky voice. The question he asked wasn’t really directed to  _ actually _ closing the window and Katniss answer wasn’t a no. Peeta hums approving before kissing her neck once again. 

“As you wish.” His kisses become longer against her neck and soon Katniss is moaning when he softly bites against the swollen flesh. Even though it’s causing a bruise, it’s an intimate feeling and Katniss can’t hold her voice inside. Both her hands in Peeta blond soft hair as she breath squeaking into his ear, pulses sending down to her most private parts when his lips let her skin go. 

Katniss doesn’t want to be the inexperienced one (which she is), so she decides to be a bit daring. She leaves the warmth from Peeta for a second and soon cages him with both her arms and thighs, hovering over him with dreamy eyes and red cheeks. She doesn’t get the chance to think before Peeta press his hand on her neck and push her down to his lips. 

They share a desperate, hard and messy kiss that contains more tongue and saliva then it should, but the feeling is so amazing that they don’t seem to mind. Katniss isn’t inexperienced in  _ this _ matter anymore. They keep making out, minutes go by and the only sound echoing in the room is their heavy and desperate breathing. 

Katniss back starts to ache, her behind basically standing up in the air. So she breaks the kiss with a lonely groan coming from Peeta and leans against his leg that he had bent up before sitting down on his hips.

Her eyes widen she feels something hard under her and a shaky moan escapes her mouth. Peeta lets out a loud groan, clenching his eyes in surprise and pleasure and Katniss almost explodes in embarrassment.

She is inexperienced, but that doesn’t mean she’s stupid. She knows what she’s sitting on and she knows there are layers of thin clothing between that prevents intercourse. And even if it does, it feels so fearfully good that for a second Katniss thinks this is wrong. 

But it’s not,  _ inside _ and that face Peeta does, it’s priceless. Katniss is the one in control, sitting on him and deciding how far she’ll go with this. She has the power to cause pleasure. Besides that, it feels so…

With a soft move, almost like a reflex deep hidden in her, Katniss presses her wet part against him with a stroke and her whole body seems to react in a hazy pleasure, her mouth parting in amazement.

“F-fuck, Katniss…”, Peeta groans, almost like he’s in pain. His hazy eyes looking up to her and the grip on her thigh tightens. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”, she whispers desperate, causing hard friction once again and they both moan together. 

Katniss never thought that rubbing  _ that _ against herself would feel so good, and apparently, the same for Peeta. She has never even touched herself there, but something sensitive is causing her whole body to crumble down with friction and it’s almost addictive.

Peeta moves his hips together with hers and Katniss has never heard such sounds leaving her mouth before. High pitched moans that she can’t control. She wants to keep looking at Peeta, but soon the grinding takes over the whole mind and she closes her eyes in pleasure, her body suddenly seeking something. A feeling.

“Peeta.”, Katniss moans between heavy breathing, placing her hands over his that’s resting on her hips. Her legs are aching, bent so uncomfortable, but the pleasure makes the discomfort disappear. 

“Come, baby.”, Peeta whispers with a shaky breath, lifting his arm up so Katniss leans her head to him, and once again, he grabs her neck and pushes her down for a kiss. It’s messy and lazy, not any effort in at all since they’re so busy moving their hips against each other, and the new position makes it even better. Peeta’s hand is tangled in her hair, braid destroyed a long time ago and the other rest on her ass. Gripping the flesh hard to keep Katniss in place and it would embarrass her deeply if it wasn’t for the pleasure her body is chasing. 

Because she is chasing a feeling and she’s about to catch it. She can feel it in her every nerve and she can’t keep her moans any longer, not caring a damn that the window is open and that the neighbors can hear her if they’re awake. Katniss rests her head on Peeta’s shoulder, breathing heavy with clenched eyes as she feels it overflow in her, legs shaking in either pleasure or exhaustion.

“P-Peeta!”, Katniss cries out and he kisses her head.

“Let go, sweetheart.” She does, and the feeling is so overwhelming that all Katniss can see it white dots fly behind her eyelids, an explosion throwing the addictive pleasure in every direction and all she can do is to bite her lips not to scream. 

How could this feel so good? How has she never done this before, with not herself at least? Never could she imagine that it felt so good and now she starts to understand why girls want to marry so young. This must be at least one of the factors.

As Katniss breaths out, resting after the intense wave of pleasure against Peeta’s shoulder, she hears him breathing out together with her, finishing with her without Katniss noticed. Sad, she wanted to see his face for some reason. 

“Fuck, I came in my pants like a teenager.”, Peeta mutters after a few minutes, Katniss dozing off laying on Peeta like this. She suddenly felt heavy, all tired. 

“Maybe’s because you  _ are _ with a teenager…”, Katniss answers with a sleepy voice, burying her head in his neck and inhaling the scent of him. His hand still resting on her behind, gripping the flesh lazily. 

“Maybe.” 

Katniss falls into a deep sleep. 

  
  


 


	19. Chapter 19

* * *

 

 

Peeta is just  _ fucking amazing! _

Damn, never in his life did he think it would go this good! Sure, his plans didn’t go exactly his way, but instead, it went even better. 

The whole thing was to scare that Hawthorne boy away from Katniss. Who’d want to marry a girl with nasty rumors, anyway? If you aren’t stupid, of course? Just a small rumor whispered straight into his mother's ear that was known for her irrational actions. And the flowers would just prove the point. Your  _ so-called _ “daughter” isn’t what you want? Shame, give her to Peeta instead. He didn’t give a fuck about what others thought. He has nothing to lose. 

But he was really shocked when Katniss cried by the table and claimed that her family  _ knew _ about them. How could that be possible? Peeta knew that the plan could go wrong. Hazel could’ve just told Katniss that it was Peeta who came the other day with false fact or Katniss could just prove them wrong and shut down the rumor with just a shrug with her shoulders. He didn’t expect Katniss to cry in his arms and ask for forgiveness. That she wasn’t careful enough.

It must have been a misunderstanding. 

Peeta loves misunderstanding! He’d never guess that Katniss family would be so wicked and, “blackmail” her to marry Gale, as Katniss expressed it. To use the rumors for their own advantage. Maybe Peeta isn’t the only fucked up person here in District 12. And when confronting Katniss, she must have thought it was about their relationship and not the rumors, since she’s totally unaware of them. 

Peeta smiles, tapping away the ash from his cigarette through the window, watching the crumbles flow with the wind. Glancing over his shoulder, he sees Katniss asleep on his bed. Braid in a mess and hickey on her neck. 

He can’t hold in a grin. 

The odds really were in his favor! 

 

* * *

 

When Katniss woke up, she immediately noticed the happiness vibrating in her together with a wet sticky mess in her panties. 

The huntress opens her eyes, staring straight up at the ceiling and she is all alone with her thoughts. Peeta must be downstairs baking because the smell of pastries is filling her lungs and so is the blood filling her cheeks.

_ What the hell happened? _

Katniss left her family. She cut them of her life and even Prim who didn’t deserve such a bad sister had to suffer too. It felt awful. Her heart was in hundreds of pieces and it didn’t feel worth it at all. She even considered to just marry Gale in total despair to stop this pain. 

But right now, she feels amazing! Katniss is laying in Peeta's bed all alone with a really big need to pee, drool on her chin and sore throat, and she’s shining with happiness. Her heart is pounding, a smile is blooming on her lips and she clenched her eyes as she covers her face.

Suddenly, her decision yesterday feels like the right choice. It feels so nice to sleep in, something she hasn’t done for many years, and knowing there is breakfast downstairs, voluntary want to work and a man who care for her. Not waking up earlier than the sun to hunt and come back with barely any food for her left since every crumb goes to her family.

With slow movements, Katniss sits up and walk to the toilet. Freshen herself up, brushing her teeth with Peeta’s and redoing her braid before walking down the stairs. 

As predicted, there are four cheese buns on the table together with a cup that’s waiting to be filled with tea and the smell of it makes Katniss mouth water. 

It was just like that morning, sore shoulder and shaky hands sitting on the same chair before digging in. All shy and scared. Now, Katniss walks with confidence to the stove, lifting the pot and filling her cup with tea. 

She eats her breakfast fast, the taste so good but wanting to see Peeta even better. Katniss goes to put on her pants from yesterday, a pair of black comfortable leggings but didn’t change her top since she’s going to cover herself with the apron anyway. With small fast movements, she walks back to the kitchen to the sink and washes the plate and cup she forgot to put back, smiling big for herself when she was finally done. 

The huntress almost runs to the back room, opening the door fast but quietly, afraid to startle Peeta and immediately is hit with the heat and the smell of baking. 

Of course, the tables are filled with batches of dough and crumbles all over the place. And the disk which she sat on when baking the wedding cake was covered with flour and the door Peeta pressed his body against hers a long time ago was open. But what she noticed first was Peeta, back against her, throwing in ingredients in a bowl with passion and concentration that made him almost look a bit angry, brows arched and mouth small. 

The excitement to meet him was still there, but now she was more ashamed to meet him than happy. What would she say to him? Had something changed now, in their relationship? 

Katniss was just going to ask for a blanket and the next thing she knows she was grinding on Peeta, moaned loudly into his ear as he gripped her ass tight. 

Katniss face turn red at the memory and she shakes her head to clear it. 

If something  _ had  _ changed, it would be a good change. That kind of… activities between people make better bonds in relationships, right? Because Katniss was happy, excited to be with Peeta more and to just  _ talk _ to him. He must feel the same way. 

Before she knows it, Peeta reaches for the sugar behind him and sees Katniss by the door, her face all red and biting her lips. He immediately smiles and reaches out his arms, which Katniss jumps right into. 

She embraces his hug, smiling into his apron as he kisses her on the head. 

Katniss couldn’t be luckier. 

 

 

The rest of the day goes by fast. 

Katniss went to open the store and there was already a line waiting outside to buy breakfast. It was chaotic and stressful, people screaming their orders right out in the air as Katniss just brought bag after bag of bread and Peeta kept springing in and out to fill the counter with pastries and different range. It was even more annoying that some customers would just stop talking and stare down at her… chest? What was it that they even looked at, with wide eyes and confused looks? Not her chest, no. it was covered with the apron. 

It didn’t matter, really. It was annoying and taking the other customers time, which only leads to more pushing around in the small room. 

By lunchtime, Katniss was exhausted, sighed loudly with her head against the counter defeated as Peeta closed for the hour. 

“Just you wait until summer break. Those kids get crazy for cake.” 

“If someone screams into my ear about anything containing flour, I’ll shove it right in their mouth.”, Katniss muttered against the counter, making the baker chuckle. 

“Let’s eat some lunch and get our energy restored.”

Peeta made some fried eggs and cut some vegetables that they ate with yesterday's bread and Katniss told Peeta about all the crazy looking customers outside as Peeta laughed into his cup of water. They opened the window and fresh spring air flowed into the kitchen as they laughed and talked about work. 

There was something amazing about sitting with her feet on the table, leaning on her chair carelessly as she watched Peeta talk passionately about the bakery. With not a worry about how to find food for the day or tomorrow for her and her family. She was selfish and she knows it, but she has never felt this good ever. It was right here and now. 

It this what it feels like to be a teenager? Laid back and unworried? 

Peeta made her feel like that. He cared for her in such a way that it reminded her of her father. Someone who fed her, took care of her and made sure she was never hurting. Made her feel like the youth she actually is.

By now, Katniss would be heading home with a loaf of bread. But she had no one to go to anymore. So she helps Peeta clean up in the kitchen and once again, opens the store for the evening. It’s much calmer and barely any customers. Katniss understands why she’s allowed to go after twelve. Peeta could manage this perfectly alone. He cleans everything in the back room and sit’s beside her by the counter. 

“You’re really good at this, sweetheart.”, Peeta says after a customer leaves, Katniss waving goodbye through the window as she sits down again.

“I don’t really do much.” The huntress scratches her back while glancing at him. “But it’s a very… sociable job. And I wasn’t before. I’ve learned a lot.”

“I can imagine.” He places his hand on hers, gripping it carelessly. “I’m proud of you.” Katniss nod and feels her body burn. 

 

 

At five thirty, Peeta complains about bringing delivery from the station and Katniss immediately takes up the chance to pay back for her stay. 

“I’ll go, Mr. Mellark.”, she says, walking behind him as he puts on his jacket and reaches for the door.

“Katniss, it’s way too heavy for you. I’ll go. You close the bakery at six. Take out some meat out the freezer later.” Katniss nods and Peeta leaves her behind, all alone with the whole responsibility of the house and bakery. With boredom, sitting by the counter and waiting for the minutes to go, she runs through the house and to the kitchen to take out the meat, before running out again. Afraid to miss some customers. Everything is just as she left and Katniss breaths out on relief before becoming bored again. 

It must’ve been lonely for Peeta. Day and night alone in this house and bakery. Without anyone around. Maybe Delly visited, but even she had her own kids and life to handle. Katniss suddenly imagine Peeta sitting here, alone and sad and the thought of it makes Katniss almost cry. She shakes her head and tries to clear it, pressing back the tears in her eyes as she mutters angrily at herself. 

The door makes its pleasing sound of opening and Katniss gets relieved, hoping for something to distract her. It’s either a customer or Peeta. But it’s not any of that. 

Katniss suddenly stands up, eyes wide and face pale when she sees her little sister by the door, closing it behind herself while staring back at her with a face Katniss can’t read. 

“Prim.”, Katniss whispers and Prim takes small shy steps towards the counter, before looking up at her sister. 

Katniss can’t believe it, but she was disturbingly ashamed of herself. Suddenly every selfish thought of happiness left her body and replaced it with guilt seeing her sisters hurt and disappointed face. How could Katniss be so stupid? She just left Prim behind in all this mess and didn’t even bother to think of her. Just enjoying her time with Peeta. It felt like someone held a tight grip around Katniss throat. Pressing it harder for every second and she forced herself to keep in the helpless cry she wanted to spill. 

“Prim, baby.”, Katniss whispers again, walking around the counter to meet her sister who she hugged immediately. Thankfully, Prim hugged her back equally strong. “I’ve missed you so much.” 

“Me too.”, her sister whispered back with tears in her voice, making Katniss heart clench in sadness.  She was the reason for her sister's misery. “I’ve looked for you everywhere. You didn’t come home last night and Hazel and mother was worried sick. Where did you sleep?”

Katniss face burns in shame, thinking of her family worrying over her while she was sitting on top of Peeta in a total, amazing mess.

“I slept here. Peeta let me.” Once again, Katniss thinks of different things, afraid that her sister will misunderstand and immediately regrets her words. “I mean- nothing like that, Prim, never-”

“Peeta?”, Prim suddenly asks, looking like a questioning mark and so does Katniss until she finally understands. No one addressed the baker with the first name. Everyone knew him by his last. 

“Mr. Mellark.” Once again, Prim looks at her sister shocked and Katniss starts to wonder again. Why did Prim search everywhere when looking for her, when she already knew of this… the thing she had with Peeta? Katniss is more than a hundred percent sure that her sister had listened to every single word said yesterday, so why wouldn’t she start here? 

“Why would you stay at Mr. Mellark’s?”, Prim asks, almost disgusted and Katniss can only stare at her sister in confusion. “I know he’s your boss and all, but are you that close?”

It suddenly became blank in Katniss brain. She doesn’t understand. What is her sister saying? Didn’t she hear them all scream yesterday because of this? 

“Prim.”, Katniss whispers. “I’m with Peeta.” 

Her sister doesn’t understand, her eyes wide and eyebrows arched in confusion as she shakes her head in distress.

“What do you mean  _ with _ Peeta?”

“Prim, weren’t you there yesterday? Didn’t you hear-”

“I was there, I heard everything but I don’t understand.” Prim’s eyes turn blank in tears and she takes a step back. Katniss tries to understand why her sister looks panicked when she already knows about this. She wants to know why she looks at her with disgust and why it hurts so damn much when she keeps shaking her head.

Her eyes suddenly land on Katniss chest again, just like every other customer did when taking their orders and this time, Katniss dared to look down. Only to see nothing unusual. There was nothing wrong with her, yet people’s eyes always landed on-

“Your… your neck…”, Prim whispers and with panic, Katniss places her hand around her throat. And there, she feels a sore spot familiar to a bruise. 

Ice fills Katniss body and she freezes in the spot. Hickey. From yesterday night. 

“You’re- You’re having an affair with Mr. Mellark?!”, Prim cries out, both her hands covering her mouth in total despair and Katniss just stands there, with wide open eyes and hanging jaw, staring at her sister’s outburst and realization that every customer in District 12 saw the blue spot, slowly sinking into her head.

Yet, Prim’s word bothers her.  _ Affair. _ That sounds bad. Like a bad thing. It has a negative saying in it and was this so negative as Prim just expressed? Katniss can’t understand why she’s reacting like this.

“Prim, you already know about this, stop reacting that way!” 

“I didn’t know about this!”, Prim screams, clenching her hands and tears running down her cheeks. “I didn’t know, Hazel told mom about some rumor about you acting reckless and that was it, what are you talking about?!” Once again, Katniss head turns blank and she just stares at her sister. 

“What…?”, she whispers. 

“Katniss, he’s so old,  _ disgusting _ !”, Prim cries and her words feel like a slap across Katniss face. “Like dad, he’s as old as father-” 

“Shut up!”, Katniss screams angry, her voice echoing back in the small room and tears flows into her eyes. “Shut up, what the hell are you saying?! Don’t say that about him-” 

“You’re disgusting!”, Prim screams back crying, stomping her feet twice before running towards the door. “I hate you!”

And then the door slams after her and Katniss fall into the flour, staring at the door for many minutes, trying to understand what just happened, before she burst out in an uncontrollable cry. She hugs her body and screams into her arms in total despair. 

“Katniss?” The huntress looks up with swollen eye and tears running down her cheeks, noticing Peeta by the door who looks at her with wide eyes. Katniss tries to hide her sobs, but they just couldn’t stop and it only made her cry more.

Peeta closes the door behind him and locks it for the day, since the clock must be many minutes past six, and hurry his way towards the girl on the floor. Squatting beside her with a worried face, trying to manage some eye contact. 

“Katniss, what’s wrong?”

Katniss was tired of crying. She is always crying nowadays, but that’s how it is when you fight with your family. When you cut them out of your life and chose freedom, someone you love, instead of them. But it was hard. It was truly, painfully hard and Katniss is just so tired of fighting this war alone.

She must look like a total mess, sitting on the floor and wailing like a child. 

She was a child, wasn’t she? In Peeta’s eyes, at least. She’s acting like one. And it doesn’t make the whole thing better that Prim’s words keep reminding her. 

That Peeta is the same age as her father before he died.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm soooo sorry for the late update. School has been crazy crazy
> 
> And I'm glad that you liked the previous chapter, but many thought that it was Peeta who would take the lead in this, and I understand. The way I tagged may seem like Peeta is into some kind of Fifty-shades stuff lol 
> 
> But I promise you guys, dominant Peeta will come out sooner or later ;)))))) 
> 
> ~Lenkia


	20. Chapter 20

 

“They know.”, Katniss whispers, her eyes cold like ice and face hard like stone. The blanket around her body didn’t help stop her shivers and neither did the cup of tea in her hands. Peeta kept looking at her, standing and leaning by the stove with both his hands crossed over his chest. He had the same unreadable face expression as Katniss.

It was dead silent in the kitchen. 

“They know. Everyone will know by tomorrow morning.”, she whispers once again, her hand pressing on the hickey on her neck. She takes a deep, shaky breath. “How could I’ve been so reckless?” She turns her head towards Peeta, anger spreading in her body like fire. “Why didn’t you say anything? How didn’t you notice?”

“Don’t you think I would’ve said anything Katniss? Really?”, he spits out with equal anger. “Do you think I want  _ this _ ?”

“It doesn’t matter because the whole District is probably talking about this right at this moment and Prim must’ve said it to mother by now.” Katniss tries to take a calming breath once again, but it only sounds desperate and painful. A loud sob escapes her and she clenches her eyes hard, forcing the tears inside. “ _ Fuck! _ ”, she screams, hitting her fist on the table in anger and disappointment. In herself. 

“Katniss, I know it’s a weird question but what are you so afraid of?” It is a weird and obvious question and it’s ridiculous to answer but Katniss does it anyways through clenched eyes and sobbing breaths. 

“The whole district will found out about this  _ affair  _ between us and they’ll label me as a whore, Peeta!”, she cries, wiping her tears that managed to escape. “An unmarried child who’ll bring shame towards her whole family- I’m so selfish! I didn’t think of anyone but myself, I didn’t think it would affect my family but it does.”

“Katniss…-”

“I should’ve just married Gale when I had the chance-”

“Katniss!” A sudden hard grip around Katniss wrist stops her wailing and with wide, teary eyes she looks up at Peeta. He looks angry almost, restricted and annoyed but face in a hard expression that confuses her.

“Marry me.” 

It becomes dead silent in the room. Not even the sound of breathing. Nothing but the clock ticking from the hall by the stairs, far far away. It’s way too quiet. 

It’s not until Katniss takes a deep shaky inhale that everything starts to function in her brain again. She studies Peeta’s face with wide shocked eyes, trying to find any sign of amusement. Instead, he looks at her like he does when he bakes. Serious. Dead serious. Mouth in a small line and eyebrows arched like he’s concentrated. Maybe concentrated on her answer. 

Maybe he is dead serious.

“Peeta…”, Katniss whispers, trying to understand what’s happening. Has she turned crazy? Did she actually hear right? 

He shakes her wrist like he’s trying to wake her up from the shock.

“Marry me, Katniss.” She can’t stop looking at him. She can’t stop searching for a sign of regret. A sign of misunderstanding.

Katniss stands up fast, breaking the grip Peeta had around her wrist in panic. The chair behind her falling to the floor and the cup doing the same. Now-cold liquid dripping down the table like rain, adding to the melodic sound with the ticking clock. It goes unnoticed between them.

“What are you talking about? Peeta, we can’t-” Katniss talks way too fast, way too desperate. But Peeta interrupts.

“Why? Why can’t we?”, he says. Both his hands up in a questioning position. “Who says we can’t?” Katniss keeps looking at him, shaking her head in panic. 

“No, no it’s-” 

“No one will call you  _ anything _ if you’re married to me. No one will blame you for  _ anything _ , because it isn’t wrong as long as we’re lawfully wed. Your family won’t even suffer the horrible shit the district will cause. As long as we’re married, we’re good. Your family is good.”

Katniss only stares at the baker. Wide, glassy eyes and open mouth, trying to understand what’s happening. Trying to understand the fact that every word Peeta has said is reasonable and just  _ right _ . Because why can’t they? Who is stopping them? And the longer Katniss realizes that the more real it becomes and it scares her. It scares her that they actually can. 

Peeta takes a big step and suddenly he’s gripping her shoulder tight. Demanding eye contact that Katniss immediately gives. 

“Katniss, I know you don’t like marriage. But I’m different!”, Peeta states with eyes reminding her of a puppy’s. 

Katniss can only keep staring, slowly understanding Peeta’s words.  _ Different, _ as in different from Gale. 

“You kept saying before that a man has nothing besides some extra coins. As in you have to work harder than you already are, but I won’t let that happen. I can  _ provide _ for you. I have  _ everything! _ You won’t have to work harder to feed more mouths, I’ll help you feed your family. Your sister, your mother without any problem at all.” 

“Peeta-”, Katniss tries to say, her breath unsteady and weak. But he presses his forehead against hers, placing his hands on her shivering cheeks and closes his eyes. 

“Katniss, please!” His voice is filled with desperation. “I have no one but you. Nothing but you. Please,  _ please, _ let me help you from this. Let me help your family. I won’t force you as they did, but just think.” He lets out a small chuckle. “Wasn’t today amazing? Waking up next to you, seeing each other first thing in the morning, working together. Eating lunch and dinner. Being with each other.” Katniss nods, chuckling between sobs as tears run down her cheeks. A small smile blooming from her lips that infects Peeta to do the same. 

It was. It was the best day of her life. Waking up with buzzing happiness, eating a perfect breakfast and lunch together with the man of her dreams. It was amazing. She wants that.

“We can have that every day. It won’t be wrong. It won’t be a secret. Just  _ us _ .” Katniss nods again, placing her hands over his, letting out a shaky exhale. 

Katniss was so tired. She was so tired of working and working and being the perfect girl. Peeta was her escape. The only time she could actually enjoy herself. 

Why should that be temporary? Why couldn’t she always be happy? 

“What do you say, Katniss?”, Peeta smiles, looking into her eyes. “Marry me?” Katniss laugh ugly, mixed with sobs and a big toothy smile. Tears suddenly turning into happy ones and her body is shaking with excitement as she grips Peeta's hands hard into her own palms.

“Okay.”, Katniss sobs, and before she knows it, Peeta hugs her hard, making the huntress giggle loudly as he spins them around the room. 

“We are getting married!”, Katniss screams, saying it out loud. Trying to understand her own statement.

“We’re getting married!”

  
  


 

The bakery is closed today and Katniss is holding a pen. 

Her hand is shaking, sweat is running down her face and she can’t stop biting her lips. It doesn’t make the whole thing better that the lady standing in front of them glares at her oddly like she’s done the whole time Katniss been here. And not when Peeta looks at her with a panicked face. 

Yesterday. It was only yesterday evening that they were laughing and crying about getting married. About permanent happiness and never-worrying days. She felt sure then. 

But now, Katniss doesn’t feel so sure anymore. 

Early in the morning, Katniss had walked home. With soft steps and slow movements to make sure that no one saw her. It was important that no one saw her. 

When she reached the old, little house she grew up in, she stepped inside, closing the door behind her carefully like it was made out of glass. Like a lion, she sneaked to her and Prim’s room. Relieved to see the room empty, that Prim was sleeping with her mother. Good. Katniss didn’t want to see her sisters face. She was too angry with her. 

When Katniss was done with her mission, she planned to slowly walk out. Even if it burned behind her eyelids and her throat got tight. But then she turned around and saw her mother in the doorway. 

They both froze, staring at each other with wide eyes like they both got caught doing something bad. Her mother’s eyes were red, she looked old. Aged and tired. She hugged her body in an attempt to warm herself up, and Katniss remembered that she always prepared tea to her mother right after trading for breakfast, ready to drink as soon as she woke up. She never thanked Katniss for it. though.  

“Katniss…”, her mother whispered. Either in shook or to not wake Prim up. Her mother’s eyes landed on her hands, holding the blue dress Katniss got at her 16th birthday. Katniss took a deep shaky inhale she couldn’t control, her face turning red in both shame and sadness.

Katniss couldn’t read her mother's facial expression. It’s way too blank. Way to shocked. And it’s enough to make Katniss let a sob escape. She didn’t want everything to end up like this. Katniss wants her sister by her side, mother smiling with them happy and approval. 

She didn’t get any of that. 

“Mother.”, Katniss whispered back. Voice put together and strong. Matching the determined face she wore. “I’m getting married today. Just like you wanted me to.” 

And before her mother could make a facial expression to reveal how she felt, Katniss walked past her with the blue dress in her hand. Leaving everything old behind. 

Ready for her new one. 

Yet, when she's held the pen, ready to write down her signature on the paper, everything feels so wrong. Everything went so wrong. 

Katniss wants her family. She wants them to be here and hug her after everything is done and whisper cliché stuff like ‘I’m proud of you’ and ‘Good job’ in her ear. Fuck, she wants that so bad. 

Her eyes start to sting, hand shaking more than before and a small, audible sob escape. 

“Katniss,” Peeta says softly, placing his hand on hers. Katniss doesn’t dare to lift her gaze, embarrassed and annoyed at herself for not letting her have the happiness she deserves. “Can you give us a minute?”, Peeta asks the woman. 

Katniss hears small, fast steps and then silence. 

“I’m sorry…”, Katniss whispers, wiping the tears with her other hand. “I’m sorry, I thought this would be easier. I just miss them.” 

“Don’t apologize.”, Peeta says, gripping her hand gently in a comforting gesture. “I understand you. Hell, I haven’t even told my parents yet.” Katniss lifts her gaze, her eyes wide while glaring at Peeta in shock. She hasn’t thought about Peeta’s family once. How the hell could she been so reckless and gone? That was important. It’s Peeta’s  _ freaking _ family. Her…. in-laws. 

Katniss still can’t see her as Peeta’s wife. Just the thought weirds her out. It shouldn’t, especially when she’s a signature away from being it. But it suddenly feels real now. Knowing that Peeta has parents and brother she has to meet. It scares her. She remembers his mother. 

Now it’s Peeta avoiding eye contact, smiling awkwardly.

“We both have…a special family, Katniss.” He glares at her innocently, like a deer would and it makes Katniss smile. “Let this be just for us. With no crazy family drama, okay?” Katniss giggles, leaning against his shoulder easily. “When we get back, we’ll do a wedding cake and eat the whole thing.” 

“That sounds amazing.”, Katniss smiles, excitement returning from yesterday. She bumps her hips against his and gives Peeta a smirk. “Plus, we’re pretty good at making those, aren’t we?” 

Peeta laughs as the lady comes back carefully, sensing the happy aura around them while preparing more paperwork for them to fill later. “We make a good team.”

Katniss smiles, looking down at the paper in front of her. Ready to be signed. 

 

Never in her life did she see herself becoming married. Never did she think that she'd be wearing her mother's dress for this purpose. It was just at her birthday that she told Madge how marriage was something she never wanted, and now, she would soon become a wife. Peeta’s wife. 

Katniss glance up at Peeta, who gives her an encouraging, loving smile. And it gives something she hasn’t had in a long time.

Happiness. That’s why she wants this. That’s why she goes against everything she once held. Because she wants  _ this _ .

Maybe she shouldn’t think this, but she’s happy that she landed in Peeta’s backyard with a gun wound that night. 

Maybe the odds really were in her favor that day.

Katniss leans down and lets the pen glide over the paper.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will it be happily ever after though....? ;))
> 
> ~Lenkia


End file.
